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Exposed: The Jewcy Bacon Fetish |
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| Before there was Swine Flu, Jewcy had Bacon Fever | ||
 by Jessica Miller, May 5, 2009 |
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“I have no problem with this,” I admitted with ‘tude as I stared down into my Cobb salad.
It was day two of Passover, and, having stopped for lunch at a neighborhood eatery, I had opted for the salad (hold the bread on the side, please) instead of the usual K-for-P-violating sandwich.
Now, there I sat. With bacon on my fork.
As many times as I’ve had to explain to my non-Jewish friends that kosher for Passover doesn’t mean kosher, they still don’t seem to get it. Luckily, I have most of the Jewcy staff to back me up on this one.
I am about to let you in on a little secret that is shocking, but true. Jewcy people love bacon. So, so much.
I’d estimate that a whopping 10% of my own posts have had
something to do with bacon, but aside from that, you have no idea how much time
I have spent skyping with fellow Jewcers about the treif delight. I don’t know how it got started, but,
long ago, in a time before Swine Flu, every time something bacon related showed
up in a Jewcer’s Google reader, the rest of the staff knew about it within
approximately 30 seconds. 
The Bacon-Themed Facebook Status: Guarenteed to generate wall traffic
And let me tell you, we have discovered some amazing things. Some of them have made it on to the site. But there is also a whole reserve of products that has thus far gone unmentioned, and that continue to be unearthed.
Take, for instance, two weeks ago, when Lilit took it upon herself to post a story about bacon-flavored lube on my Facebook wall. Or that time before our winter holiday party, when we found ourselves sort of bummed out about our incredible deal with Embittermints upon our discovery of bacon-flavored mints. At one point, Todd and I stumbled upon a purely bacon-themed news site to keep ourselves in the bacon-themed loop (this site also happens to have apparel that rivals the sexiness of the Jewcy thong.) We’ve found gummy bacon, gourmet bacon cocktails, even bacon dental floss. (it exists, you guys. I saw it at Ricky’s.)
A limit was reached recently when Lilit discovered Meatpaper, a magazine specifically designed for the carnivore. Get this: it recently ran a “Pig Issue” which included an article that suggested that bacon can cure a rare disease called furuncular myiasis. Hear that world? Bacon. Can. Cure. You. Cure! You!
Screw the what-if-I-have-to-get-a-pig’s-heart-valve-implanted-in-my-chest debate, this is taking it to the next level. Then again, not many people have problems with invasive fly larvae. But still.
So what is it about bacon, specifically? As a culture, we seem to be
obsessed. The truth is, bacon
represents a perfect extreme: a completely gratuitous and delicious rebellion
from a defining tenet of Judaism.
Bacon is hillarious in its offensiveness. And it just tastes so good.
Gummy Bacon: Actually tastes like strawberries, which somehow makes it more weird
Even my own family, which does not keep kosher, but won’t keep pork products in the house out of some sort of hereditary guilt will make an exception for bacon and a very scarce selection of pig-based foods. I have a vivid memory of my dad holding up a fried pork dumpling in his chopsticks and saying, “Well, if this is going to send me to hell, then I’d say it’s worth it.”
The truth is, bacon is irresistible. In the “so wrong, it’s right” kind of way.
So the next time you need a mildly offensive gag gift for your Jewish friend, or need additional ways of incorporating bacon into your life, just ask a Jewcer. They'll have you violating biblical codes in no time, and they'll do it with a smile.
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Ashley Tedesco
Maayan
Bacon?! I've never had pork either because of the Jew thing, I think this Jewcy bacon facination was mostly Todd's doing. Also, does keeping fully Kosher only for passover keep you in the good books for the whole year, or is it not good enough?? It is a hard thing to explain to non-Jews, basically we can tell them we each make our own rules and hope G-D's cool with that.
Great Article Jess! Very funny :)
franklinbeech12
This is great!
Ashley Tedesco
Tzveee
As the guily-as-charged speaker of that line about dumplings I can report abstention from pork dumplings since Ollie's (http://www.olliesrestaurant.com) closed their W 44th St. location a few years back. As for bacon, maybe once or twice a year at most these days.
While you're on the bacon-themed foods, don't forget Vosges (http://www.vosgeschocolate.com) chocolates with "applewood smoked bacon." Lucky for me, I'm allergic to chocolate.
Jess, the world is waiting to hear the story about bacon not being tuna fish.
asc
Why does this Jewcy bacon fetish sound so -- trite? It's like the secular kibbutzim that would hold a Yom Kippur feast. It sounds like rebellion, but seems more like a plea for attention -- and attention from the very people they were presumably rebelling against, the way a grade school boy will yank the hair of a girl he likes.The kibbutz could have just ignored Yom Kippur altogether. Now THAT would have been rebellion. Instead, the Yom Kippur feast, like Jewcy's bacon obsession, is based on a need to broadcast "the type of Jews we aren't," as opposed to the "type of Jews we are." So while you consider bacon "a completely gratuitous and delicious rebellion FROM a defining tenet of Judaism," what are you FOR, exactly, beside proudly and loudly flouting those tenets? When the Reform movement issued its Pittsburgh Platform in 1885, which nullified the laws of kashrut, the goal wasn't just to rebel or celebrate forbidden, um, fruit. It was a principled stand, intrinsic to their understanding of "modern spiritual elevation" -- to which they felt the ancient laws were actually a hindrance. What I'd love to read is your essay, not on why it's so "hilarious" and taboo to eat bacon, but how your relationship to food and tradition -- the kosher and the trayf. the sacred and the profane -- shapes who you ARE as a Jew, not who you AREN'T. (Full disclosure: I grew up in a nonkosher home. Bacon is f---ing delicious.)
telavivacious
Cute article, really, but it really breaks my heart to see Jews eating treyf. I'm not religious but I really see not eating pork/shellfish/cheeseburgers as the last pillar of Jewish traditions that people can easily maintain and just don't get why people deviate from it.
I remember one time I went out for dinner on a Hillel trip to New Orleans and I was the only person who didn't wind up with treyf seafood in front of me. It was a bizarre and saddening experience.
I do like the idea of bacon-flavoured lube though.
Egherman
My grandmother, who was born into a kosher household and who never ate ham, introduced me to the pleasure of the BLT when I was a small child. All her life she refused to acknowledge that bacon came from a pig.
JewWho
As a recovering vegetarian, bacon was what did me in. I just couldn't resist it. Maybe the original tradition wasn't to prevent disease, but rather to test ones self control ;)
I certainly failed.
Mia-Rut
Okay, so cross-posting your article was not terribly popular. However, some of us found the humor in your piece and will even offer a suggestion - and sandwich called the Conflicted Jew check it out here http://www.alwayshungryny.com/thought-for-food/tag/Sandwiches/
Also check me out on the Jew and the Carrot
evamoly
A long long time ago, before swine flu...
alli
hey girl
you're not alone in your bacon loving vegetarianism.
i even named my blog after it, check it out:
http://baconveggie.blogspot.com