Nothing gets you in the mood to write the Monday Mazal like chowing down on Chateaubriand at an ultra-Orthodox (read: Amish) wedding this past Thursday (yes, Thursday) night. As I ate my starchy side dish, I hit my smart phone for the Jewiest of Jews from last week’s Simcha section and came across not one, but two familiar faces.
One of my camp counselors (what kind of Jewess would I be had I not attended the requisite Jewy summer camp?!) from the summer of 2003, Susie Levithan, wed a fellow camp madrich (translation: male counselor), Harrison Rubenfeld, last weekend after meeting him on staff the summer prior. While I had known about the couple’s engagement and their plans to tie the knot at our beloved Camp Ramah in the Berkshires with a fellow Ramah-nik officiating, I had no clue that the pair merited my first summer at Camp Ramah, the summer of 2002, as when they met. Such an exciting detail in their small announcement last week made me feel a part of their simcha, when in fact, as we all know, I had absolutely nothing to do with it. With both the bride and the grooms’ mothers working in Jewish education, hers a Rabbi at the JCC and his a nursery school teacher at Huntington Jewish Center, it’s no shock these two found love at Jewy Jewy Jew Camp. Mazal Tov Susie and Harrison! After Shabbat walks, making out behind bunks and being tormented for your love by immature campers of all ages, you are now officially adorable.
While the epic findings of the week prior left me with high expectations for this week’s simchas, I was pleased to find an ample amount of Jewish unions with equally ample Jewish surnames in this week’s wedding announcements. However, despite their quantity, the announcements seemed to lack in Jewcy quality. With no intermarriage, no typos and no uber Jewness to report, the couples involved came from your typical Jewish communities and work in the classic professions befitting those in said communities (finance, medicine, education, law, you know them well). I figured I’d play a fun game with their marital good fortune instead of simply reporting on them and grant their unions Hollywood style nicknames! Here we go…
When Lauren Rabinowitz wed Daniel Singer at the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue after meeting at her grandmother’s house (yes, her grandmother’s house) they became… Singowitz!
When the daughter of Forward editor Jane Eisner, Rachel Berger and Ari Jankelowitz made it official they morphed into… Rachkelwitz!
When Linda Schechter and George Feldman tied the knot this past weekend, we adorably dubbed them… Feldechter!
While these nicknames certainly do not come close to the epic Bennifer and Brangelina – please note that two out of three of them end in –owitz. Those Hollywood gentiles may have lovely secular names that string together with perfect precision, but we have rockin’ Jewy last names! Can’t touch this.
In other Mazal news, our tribe welcomed the much-awaited arrival of Baby Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millipied! The name, we’re sure, won’t be announced until the bouncing baby’s brit.