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The Week in Jews



The News: NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg sheds his GOP label in what many speculate as a sign of presidential aspirations.

The Chatter: If Bloomberg runs, he wins. [The Huffington Post] Right, a Jewish billionaire Independent. If only he were a cross-dresser too, he'd be a shoe-in. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] Though Gotham Jews have got Mike's back. [The Jewish Daily Forward] And he's already picked his Rove. [CBS] But an Empire State race with Bloomberg, Giuliani and Hilary could spell disaster for the left: “New York is still a code word for ‘Jew’ in some places.” [The Jewish Week] Nope, writes George Packer, with the onus on NYC, the Northeast could finally reclaim the White House from the Sun Belt. [The New Yorker] HITLER'S CROTCH ROT CAUSED THE HOLOCAUST: The News: Did Hitler plan the Shoah because a Jewish prostitute gave him syphilis? According to a new psychiatric study, the mental and behavioral disturbances associated with the nefarious STD might have caused Hitler's lethal antisemitism.

The Chatter: In Mein Kampf, he dedicates 13 pages to, what he calls, “the Jewish disease.” [Daily Mail] Evidence is not yet definitive, but Adolf’s ugly health records are full of all the right symptoms. Plus, they used to hand out Wagner's Ring Cycle at Berlin health clinics. [BBC]


The News: Dubai-based investment firm Istithmar buys Barney's. The Chatter: Will Upper East side Jews panic? [Jezebel] Maybe not. Isn't UAE, like, one of the cool Arab countries? [Jezebel] And hey, even if Mercedes supplied tanks to the Nazis, the new S series comes in forest green. Forest green! [Jezebel] SPOOFING THE ONLINE CRUISE

The News: The pomo lit mag’s Eric Silver writes a mock J-Date profile: “After we review your essays to make sure the content is appropriate and you're not just looking for another cheap slut to take out for a romantic night pounding beers that ends with a tour of the back seat of your Hyundai, we'll post it right away and you can begin meeting thousands of Jewish singles like yourself!” [McSweeney's]

The Chatter: You really need a spin on this one?


The News: Dan Kurtzer, former U.S. Ambassador to Israel and Egypt, acts as commissioner for this inaugural league's opening day. [Jewish Telegraph Agency]

The Chatter: Baseball is an American pastime. [The Jerusalem Post] All catcher signals mean "Go fuck yourself" in Hebrew. [Houston Chronicle]

TONY BLAIR NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE The News: Blair leaves Downing Street for Ramallah. Will his experience hurt or help in his new post? [Jewish Telegraph Agency]

The Chatter: Uncertainty hangs over Blair's role as peacemaker. [Guardian Unlimited] But he's been on both sides of the fence. That might be a good thing. [Guardian Unlimited] Israel supports his new role. Hamas, guess again. [PlanetImpressions] Or maybe his job will be more about money. He'll be the Bono of Gaza. [The New York Times]


The News: Michael Winterbottom's A Mighty Heart depicts the kidnapping of WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl, as seen through the eyes of his wife, Mariane (the film is based on her memoir of the event). [YouTube]

The Chatter: A Mighty Heart suspenseful but everyone knows what's coming, and it's not pretty. [Jewish Telegraph Agency] Futterman, who plays Pearl, born in Brooklyn and authored Capote. Also the straight son in The Birdcage. [Jewish Telegraph Agency] Angelina shines as wife Mariane Pearl. [The New Yorker]

[Trailer for the film below]

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