Sarah Palin released a video statement Wednesday calling the rush to blame on conservatives for the Tucson shooting a “blood libel.” I thought using that phrase was incredibly stupid since, ya know, traditionally blood libels mean someone has been accusing the Jews of stealing gentile babies and draining them of their blood to make bread.
I’m not sure exactly who is writing Sarah’s speeches for her — or her infamous tweets and Facebook messages — but I’m sure they’re making a pretty penny doing the job. Still, I’m a nice guy, and I know everyone needs help now and again, so I cooked up a few sample ideas that Sarah is welcome to use in the future:
- This is a pogrom of justice.
- The lamestream media is committing a shoah against me.
- Those gosh dang Elders of Zion need to stop publishing lies about me.
- The liberal elite is poisoning the well.
- Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! [Note: I stole this from Monty Python, but I don’t think she’d care.]
- I just don’t find Mel Brooks that funny.
- I’m the [insert Native American, African-American, people in Darfur, Christians during Roman times here] of the political world!
So Sarah, I’m available to write for you. Just look me up on the Jewcy masthead and we can talk about compensation.