In middle school, when the sweaty, dreamy boys on the JV basketball team made a list of the prettiest girls in the grade, there were only, like, five names listed on that college-ruled paper. When you learned that your name didn’t make the cut (it turns out seventh grade boys aren’t impressed by your weekend spent reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, whatever), tears and self-deprecation ensued, but, alas, you found other strengths (See: journaling, napping).
So when I saw BuzzFeed’s latest list, “The Official Ranking of the 51 Hottest Jewish Men in Hollywood,” the list-loser in me was borderline befuddled. 51? That seems way too large a set. Now, I know, I know, attraction is confusing, selective, and strange (I thought Jack Black was the ideal man for the majority of my pre-teens). But this list builder, Lauren Yapalater, essentially concocted a roster of every Jewish actor in Hollywood.
Scott Caan, Steven Weber: really? Mandy Patinkin on the same list as Adam (and, for that matter, Adrien) Brody? This Yapalater lady doth protest too much, methinks. She may as well have thrown Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski—aka Krusty the Clown—into the mix.
BuzzFeed is silly. It’s mostly visited for its juvenile lists colored with GIFs and semi-witted 140 character blurbs easy to share with all your virtual friends. And I can get down with that business model. But, c’mon, have some backbone. As a website that creates and distributes lists, make actual lists. If not, the world of ranking loses all its credence. Narrow that list down, girl.