Sufganiyot, a.k.a. fried doughnuts usually with some kind of filling inside them, are a Hanukkah staple, the oil they’re fried in commemorating the miracle of the oil that took place in the days of the Hasmoneans.
Some have created their own sufganiyah custom, wherein they’ll eat one on the first night, two on the second, and so on until they eat eight sufganiyot on the eighth and final night of Hanukkah. This brings us to maybe the coolest thing about them: you can probably eat all thirty-six of these donuts without repeating a single sufganiyah filling flavor (…though probably not without getting some fainting from sugar-overload).
From the classics to the new and exciting, we can probably guess your personality from which one you choose. Yalla, check it out.
Vanilla Cream: You’re a hopeless romantic. Perpetually looking for love. “WHERE IS MY BESHERT,” you constantly exclaim, though you know that Hashem has a plan. You also love chocolate-covered strawberries and identify with Elle Woods on a spiritual level.
Chocolate: While chocolate is always framed as the opposite of vanilla, there’s really no way to be more vanilla about your sufganiyah fillings than with chocolate. You’re afraid of taking risks. Order something besides chicken nuggets and French fries every time you go out. The safe choice is a safe choice for a reason; you can’t really go wrong with chocolate. But don’t you want to live a little? Stop limiting yourself to the safest choices.
Chocolate-Vanilla-Swirl: You’re scared of confrontation and intimidated by authority. You don’t always need to appeal to every single person or be diplomatic in every single argument. It’s okay. Pick a side! Make a decision! You’ll be better off for it.
Nutella: Nutella sufganiyot have goldendoodle energy, and so do you. Everyone wants one, until they get one. Then you think to yourself, “this is good, but could I have tried something else?” Harsh, I know. But I gotta give it to you straight. Sufganiyot personality tests are serious business, after all.
Custard: You’re probably from the northeast region of the United States, am I right? You’re independent and a bit of a perfectionist, always expecting the best out of yourself. Chill out a little. Do something spontaneous; go on an introspective road trip and sit alone with your thoughts for a bit. Get to know yourself a bit better. Do you really know you?
Tahina-Honey: You’re feisty and rugged. You like your morning hikes early and your coffee black. Picking fights is not as much a hobby as it is the norm for you. Always for a good reason, though. And you’re never ever wrong–mainly because you’ll never admit it.
Strawberry Jelly: You’re a little basic, but also bubbly and smart. You’re always out doing something fun with your countless best friends, and you make sure everyone knows it by posting about it on your Insta stories. Can I get an invite next time?
Raspberry Jelly: You’re genuine and honest. You’re a hard person to befriend, either because you don’t want to let people in or because you don’t make enough of an effort to put yourself out there, but once the friendship has established, you’re the best friend anyone can have. And as loyal as they come.
Grape Jelly: I see you, you Manischewitz enthusiast. You’re always the funnest at parties, and the standout guest at shabbatot, keeping everyone entertained with your party tricks and natural comedic abilities. You were born knowing how to juggle, and what can we say… We’re all jealous.
Guava Jelly: Stop. Enough. Wanting to stand out isn’t worth filling your sufganiyot with guava. I get that you want to be quirky and different, but guava jelly? This isn’t worth it.
Apricot: Listen, you know what you like, and you aren’t ashamed to let the world know it. Apricot is a bold choice, but a good one. You are assertive and impulsive, which keeps you on track for your meticulous plans and ambitious goals. You got the “Most Likely to Succeed” superlative in your high school yearbook. Keep reaching for the stars!
No Filling: …Hello? Sorry, I literally fell asleep trying to write about your boring personality. Sufganiyot need filling, weirdo. You probably top your latkes with ketchup or something nasty like that, too.
Dulce de Leche: You’re likeable, adventurous, and most probably a Latino Yid. Your sweet tooth knows no bounds, and this isn’t your first sufganiyah this very sitting, either. You had like twelve, didn’t you? Anyways, please turn the reggaetón down; some of us are busy.
Ginger-Lime: With your eclectic style and undeniable charisma, people think you’re quite the hipster when in reality, you just have the soul of an eighty-year-old woman. Your mysterious aura does not stop you from being literally the most uninteresting person in the world. In the best, best way. Your ideal night is spent indoors, sipping on tea–something organic, of course–and curled up with a good mystery novel and some cat videos.
Creme Espresso: I just know you’re a workaholic. It’s Hanukkah, loosen up! That work or school assignment can wait until after a few dreidel rounds. Also, go get a massage. You deserve it.
Halva: You’re not Israeli, but you like to pretend you are. You bought Blundstones your first time going to Israel as an adult, be it on Birthright or on a post-high school gap year program, and even though you’re as American as they come, you make fun of people who speak Hebrew with American accents. You’re also going to be embarrassingly defensive when you read this, claiming this doesn’t apply to you because “My dad grew up in Israel!” or “But all Jews are from Israel.” Babes, it applies.
Maple Butter: Canadian.
Apple Butter: Wholesome and kind. A Pixar aficionado. No one has any negative things to say about you because you treat everyone with respect… though your inner circle knows you have your lashon hara moments. You were very into horses in the fourth grade, but you got over it, and we’re glad you did.
In the end, whatever filling you choose, we’ll respect it. And shoutout to those of you out there making sfenj and bimuelos. (What that says about you is that you’re probably Sephardic and cool and that you should feed me.)
Anyway, our legal team would like us to disclaim that this list is not 100% accurate, but remember that we are psychic and never wrong and one of our friends literally screamed and passed out because of how freakishly accurate her description was so take that as you will.
Chag sameach, kinderlach. Don’t get diabetes.