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In order to encourage you to mess up this page, I am going to post the introduction to the Hamas charter. Mess it up...please!

The Covenant of the Hardly Useful Militant Muslim Stooges (Hummus)

18 August 1988

In The Name Of The Most Merciful Allah [whom we emulate in mercy by blowing up Jewish children]

"Ye are the best nation that hath been raised up unto mankind [Hey, I thought we were the only people doing the whole chosen people thing! Muslims, please stop cutting in on our action]: ye command that which is just, and ye forbid that which is unjust, and ye believe in Allah. And if they who have received the torah had believed, it had surely been the better for them: there are believers among them [but we'll blow 'em up anyway], but the greater part of them are transgressors. They shall not hurt you, unless with a slight hurt ["it's only superficial wounds, chief"--Fearless Fosdick, peace be upon him]; and if they fight against you, they shall turn their backs to you, and they shall not be helped. They are smitten with vileness wheresoever they are found; unless they obtain security by entering into a treaty with Allah, and a treaty with men; and they draw on themselves indignation from Allah, and they are afflicted with poverty. This they suffer, because they disbelieved the signs of Allah, and slew the prophets unjustly; this, because they were rebellious, and transgressed." (Al-Imran - verses 109-111).

Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it [just like the Ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, Hellenist Syrians, and Romans--they sure did a bang-up job of wiping out all the Jews, huh], just as it obliterated others before it" (The Martyr, Imam Hassan al-Banna, of blessed memory).

"The Islamic world is on fire. Each of us should pour some water, no matter how little, to extinguish whatever one can without waiting for the others. We must not let the motherfucker burn" (Sheikh Amjad al-Zahawi, of blessed memory).

In The Name Of The Most Merciful Allah

Introduction
Praise be unto Allah, to whom we resort for help, and whose forgiveness, guidance and support we seek; Allah bless the Prophet and grant him salvation, his companions and supporters, and to those who carried out his message and adopted his laws - everlasting prayers and salvation as long as the earth and heaven will last. The Sweet Hereafter:

O People:
Out of the midst of troubles and the sea of suffering, out of the palpitations of faithful hearts [better see a cardiologist about that] and cleansed arms; out of the sense of duty, and in response to Allah's command, the call has gone out rallying people together and making them follow the ways of Allah, leading them to have determined will in order to fulfill their role in life, to overcome all obstacles, and surmount the difficulties on the way. Constant preparation has continued and so has the readiness to sacrifice life and all that is precious for the sake of Allah.

Thus it was that the nucleus (of the movement) was formed and started to pave its way through the tempestuous sea of hopes and expectations, of wishes and yearnings, of troubles and obstacles, of pain and challenges, both inside and outside.

When the idea was ripe, the seed grew and the plant struck root in the soil of reality [weren't you just talking about a nucleus? you're mixing your metaphors], away from passing emotions, and hateful haste. The Islamic Resistance Movement emerged to carry out its role through striving for the sake of its Creator, its arms intertwined with those of all the fighters for the liberation of Palestine. The spirits of its fighters meet with the spirits of all the fighters who have sacrificed their lives on the soil of Palestine, ever since it was conquered by the companions of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, and until this day.

This Covenant of the Hardly Useful Militant Muslim Stooges (Hummus), clarifies its picture, reveals its identity, outlines its stand, explains its aims, speaks about its hopes, and calls for its support, adoption and joining its ranks. Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious. It needs all sincere efforts. It is a step that inevitably should be followed by other steps. The Movement is but one squadron that should be supported by more and more squadrons ["the NY Mets are my favorite squadron" -- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, peace be upon him] from this vast Arab and Islamic world, until the enemy is vanquished and Allah's victory is realised.

Thus we see them coming on the horizon, riding six white horses, wearing silk pajamas, and we'll all have chicken and dumplings when they come (yee-ha!) "and you shall learn about it hereafter" "Allah hath written, Verily I will prevail, and my apostles: for Allah is strong and mighty." (The Dispute - verse 21).

"Say to them, This is my way: I invite you to Allah [please RSVP; business attire required], by an evident demonstration; both I and he who followeth me; and, praise be unto Allah! I am not an idolator [I only play one on TV]." (Joseph - verse 107).