Hanukkah's no big whoop in my house. I light my tiny little menorah that used to be my father's. Its so small that it only fits birthday candles and it burns out in less than 5 minutes, not very impressive. Maybe that's why I'm so preoccupied with other people's menorahs.

My apartment building has a gigantic Christmas tree in the lobby. I have nothing against (tastefully decorated) Christmas trees, but this one is a bit out of proportion for my building. The same day, a plastic menorah appeared with the first candle prematurely lit. It was only 9am! But I let it go. I thought "A" for effort. At least they have a menorah, right?