Here are today's top stories in no particular order: 

• Unemployment rates have soared to 7.6 percent, with 598,000 jobs cut in January 2009 alone. 

• A Florida man was arrested yesterday for simulating sex with two blow up dolls in his car in a supermarket parking lot. He claimed he stopped at the shopping center to buy clothing for the naked inflatable dolls. 

• Vladamir Putin is a huge Abba fan, who knew? According to reports, the Kremlin picked up the bill to fly the Abba cover band Bjorn Again to a top-secret military location for a private show, where Putin and a female guest got down to numbers like "Dancing Queen" and "Mamma Mia."

• According to a CBS news survey, President Barack Obama has an approval rating of 62 percent, which is higher than both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. 

• Etta James claims she was just kidding when she talked smack about Beyonce at a recent live show. The 71-year-old diva criticized Beyonce's performance of her sonic claim to fame "At Last" at President Barack Obama's inaugural ball, and threatened to give Beyonce "a good old fashion ass-whooping."  

• Nadya Suleman, the recent mother of the highly publicized octuplets, had six embryos implanted during her fertility procedure, an amount that is far greater than doctors typically recommend. All of her 14 children were conceived by in-vitro fertilization. 

In some music circles, you're not cool unless you've sweated it out with the thousands of in-the-know music snobs and the people who love them at the hipster music fest Coachella which takes place in Indio, California. Besides the hundred-plus degree temperatures and the endless port-o-potty lines, Coachella typically boasts a covetable lineup of the latest and greatest of the sonic scene. This year, we at Jewcy are happy to report that there is a generous smattering of Jewish artists scheduled to grace the scorching stage. Iconic songwriter, and poster child for the perennially morose, Leonard Cohen is slated to round out the main acts on Friday night's roster. While not the most upbeat, Cohen definitely meshes with the comeback cool theme of Coachella (Paul McCartney, anyone?) Another mentionable Jewess taking the stage is the notorious Amy Winehouse, whose super-sized beehive and solid pipes have been recently overshadowed by her crack habit and good-for-nothing convict husband. Whether the trouble-making queen of British soul with even make it to the desert is a whole other question—how can she be  eligible for a Visa?—but after seeing her play a sweat-inducing set in a tiny club in San Francisco, I'd be willing to wait in 103 degree desert heat just to hear "Rehab" live. Check out the full lineup here, while I quietly contemplate what Morrissey's famous pomp will look like in that weather. 

Here are today's top stories in no particular order:

• Barack Obama signed the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act today, which makes it easier for workers to sue their employers for pay discrimination.  

• An Israeli airstrike hit Gaza today in response to offensive Hamas rocket fire. Eight Palestinians were injured in the blast. 

• U.S. Army Secretary Pete Geren has called for a recall of military body armor after tests confirmed that the bullet-blocking plates in the vest were not up to standard. 

• Despite huge fourth quarter losses, Ford Motor Company is not seeking financial help from the federal government. 

• Wait a minute Mr. Postman! The postmaster general has asked Congress to cut mail delivery from six days a week to five days due to the current economic crisis. 

Here are today's top stories in no particular order:

• Sales of the "Inspirational Caylee Sunshine Doll," modeled after and made as a tribute to murdered two-year-old Caylee Anthony, have been halted until further notice.  

• The fate of the Auschwitz Museum in Poland hangs in the balance due to lack of funding. The notoriously brutal Nazi concentration camp (which holds the archives of all the people who were murdered there) is literally rotting away, making the preservation of the site difficult.

• President Barack Obama signed two presidential memorandums today that both support a cleaner and greener America by creating stricter policies regarding fuel emissions as well as creating new standards of fuel-efficiency for automakers. 

• One Israeli soldier was killed today when Palestinian militants detonated a bomb at the Gaza border. This comes after a mutual ceasefire between Hamas and Israel was established over a week ago. 

• The world's second set of live-born octuplets were born this morning in Bellflower, California.

• Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is boycotting his own impeachment trial, stating that it has been rigged against him. In addition, he is authorizing the release of audiotapes recorded by the FBI in an effort to prove his innocence. 

If you are desperately searching for a music group that has successfully resurrected the lost art of pithy-meets-poppy songwriting, then the Brooklyn-based sextet the Randy Bandits should be on your radar. The Bandits, who manage to effortlessly combine vaudeville theatrics, slinky jazz rhythms, raucous rockabilly and an earthy touch of Americana, are known for their feverishly wicked live shows. A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of witnessing their hip-shaking set where harmonies, that could easily rival old school barbershop A Capella, collided with frenetic handclapping, rumbling basslines, and an all-smiles Broadway-esque exuberance. With their sophomore effort Golden Arrow, this band of randy Brooklynites attempted to bring their rousing live performances to your stereo or iPod. With most of the tracks recorded completely live--and with only a few flourishes added in the studio later to boost the sound--Arrow conveys the infectious raw energy of the Bandits, but without the beer bottle-clanking background noise of a rowdy nightclub.

This week, five uber-lucky Jewcy readers will win a copy of Golden Arrow by the Randy Bandits. To enter, send an email to contests@jewcy.com and we'll randomly select five winners on Monday, February 2. If five CD giveaways isn't enough for you, the Randy Bandits are also giving away an exclusive free download of their tune "Modern Man."  See, everyone is a winner at Jewcy.

 Download "Modern Man" now.