If the page were the same colour as the letters, could we put Torah down on paper?  When you read the Torah do you perceive only the letters without understanding their utter dependence on the space among and between them? Yes, ...

"Once during a shamanic ceremony, I had a death experience; moving toward the light, being drawn to it.  I felt pulled back by my love for my partner, my youth, my desire to create in the world.  'Not yet,' I thought.  Now, with that ...

That last line seems out of place.  What is it if not an expression of regret?  Perhaps it is meant to motivate others, but I think it undermines your message.