Mitzvah of the Week

People like to apply this mitzvah to just about any situation, and it makes me crazy that we often end up overlooking the most literal interpretation. You have to be nice to your neighbors. In my case this means keeping the music and partying down after midnight, and remembering to wheel the garbage can to the front of the driveway. I was thinking about it today because I was reading the news today and noticed a story about Rabbis for Human Rights helping out Palestinian olive farmers who routinely have to deal with harassment and theft from Israeli settlers. I have a cousin who used to be one of those settlers, and while I have a variety of unpleasantly themed feeling about his politics, what I really can’t get over in this scenario is how incredibly rude he was to someone who essentially lived in his backyard.Olive Farmers: probably don't play techno at 1 in the morning

It’s comforting to see that there are still groups of people dedicated to making nice with the neighbors, and even helping them out they’re in need. If you’re in Israel now and would like to help pick olives with Palestinian farmers, Rabbis for Human Rights is still looking for volunteers, through December 15th. You can call 02-6482757 to sign up, or visit their website. You can read articles about the olive harvest here (English) and here (Hebrew).

And before people rip me a new one in the comments, I want to mention that I absolutely think that the Palestinians have done a generally crappy job of being good neighbors, but that doesn’t exempt us from the mitzvah.

It's almost Shabbes. My house is clean, my dinner is ready, my cat and I are all ready to get our nefesh on. I love Shabbes. I love the idea of it, I love the practice of it, and I'm both okay with and in love with the many ways people find Shabbes for themselves. Or how people and Shabbes find each other at various life-stages, as a Rabbi I know likes to say.

Shabbat: How do you make it your own? Some are completely Shomer Shabbes. Some stay in and light Shabbat candles and have a family meal. Some have a family meal, light the candles then all go their different weekend directions. Some people light candles and hang around the house and rest for the week ahead. Some go to shul. Some keep Shabbes unless there is a special circumstance or event. Some take a small time out. Some take the full 25 hours. And sure, some don't mess with any of it.

And, in my book, that's all okay because maybe what makes Shabbes the time of re-nefesh (my English tag word for "re-ensoulment") is a matter of doing your heart's desire. It's perfectly okay to keep shomer Shabbes, and it's perfectly okay to not observe Shabbes at all and whatever lies between, if your kavanah and action-ideas don't, can't or won't line up. Don't get me wrong. I think Shabes is a good idea, I do. I've done Shabbes just about every way there is to do Shabbes and I've found meaning each time. I try, really try, not to get caught up in too many have-to's and just let my Shabbes evolve with what feels right year after year. (Which is not to say I don't do many of the activities traditional of Shabbes, just that I really feel my way through Shabbes and check-in with myself to do what feels honest and right to me. Because, though I see the value and stability of rote, I can't help but feel like a fraud when I find myself in rote mode. Another post for another day. I digress.) I keep Shabbes, and small rituals I have ebb and flow and change and evolve over time and I like that. I like feeling like there is room to evolve, I like putting activities on the Does-this seem-Shabbesey?-Is-My-Heart-in-It? Scale as a sort of finer filter on what I do and don't do on Shabbes.

For example, officially there is a prohibition from sewing on Shabbes. Well, there is the work prohibition, and once upon a time, and still to some now, sewing is a means of making a living. So, sure, yes, best to take the day of rest off from sewing! But, what about to the busy professional with little personal time who loves to sew? What if sewing is a family tradition, passed from one generation to the next? Wouldn't sewing on Shabbes make someone, then, think of fond memories and be refreshed with an activity that s/he takes the time to savor? Wouldn't, then, sewing be feeding the very soul we're allowing to glow on Shabbes by feeding it something with such deep, personal meaning? Isn't that more meaningful than not sewing in that case? (This very issue is addressed far more in-depth in one of my favorite books, Jewish With Feeling by Rabbi Zalman Schachter.)

How does he get his nefesh on?: Holmes doesn't roll on Shabbos.Part of Shabbes is re-ensoulment. A large part. Reconnecting to yourself to be the best you that you are capable of being so you are fueled to make the world as good of a place as you are capable of making it. Isn't there some sacredness in that?

I found a few of these quotes that I thought were interesting, all collected on RitualWell (read the whole collection there, if you like, they're really lovely), and collected from various female leaders within the Jewish community that seem to be in the same vein of what I'm getting at, but this one in particular, I really liked:

"As someone who is committed to social justice, to ending oppression, I often feel that there is too much to do, too little time to fix it all, that I can't stop yet...And then Shabbat comes and with its arrival twenty-five hours in which I get to notice how beautiful the world is, how perfect it is, and that there is nothing that I need to do in that moment to change it. I am reminded that it is crucial for me to stop, to rest, to celebrate the beauty of the world, the richness of my relationships with family, friends and G-d. A time of noticing what is already right and whole and good rather than what isn't. And with that deep knowing, that inner quiet, I can go back out for the rest of the week and fight like hell."

And, speaking of Shabbes. It's upon us and I have candles to light. Shabbat Shalom. Peace of re-ensoulment, however you find it.

I’m back in Chicago for the weekend, hanging out with my mother, who just had major surgery. She’s had tons of support from the community, family and friends from across the street and across the planet. One of the things that has been most impressive to me is the way that people have been coming out to do bikkur cholim, the mitzvah of visiting the sick. The Midrash famously says that when you visit the sick you alleviate one sixtieth of his pain (Leviticus Rabba 34), but as far as I can tell, some visits can be much more helpful than that, and some can be less. Here are my tips for visiting the sick, and some links to other useful sites.
Bikkur Cholim: just do it
1. Call before you come
The sick person may be sleeping or with doctors if you just stop by, plus knowing that someone is coming keeps the patient excited and anticipatory.
2. Don’t stay long (unless you’re asked to)
Sick people generally need to sleep a lot, and they are often weaker than usual. Even if they want to see you and have a long chat, it may not be possible. Plan on stopping by for no more than half an hour. Sometimes fifteen minutes will be the limit, and sometimes less, but even if it’s a very short visit it’s still very meaningful.
3. If you’re bringing a gift, bring something appropriate
Gift shops are not the best place to get gifts for someone who is ill. Tchotchkes are just not that useful, whereas an Audiobook or CD might be nice for someone who’s bedridden. Books and games that are small and can be played sitting down in a chair are great, and so are snacks that are bite-sized and thus don’t require a fork and knife. You may want to find out if there’s something specific that may be helpful for someone with that specific illness. My mom is obsessed with her healing threads shirt, which is great for anyone who’s had a mastectomy.
4. Offer to help with concrete tasks
If you’re feeling awkward about what you’re going to talk about when you visit, offer to help out with specific things. “Hey, would you like me to clean out your refrigerator?” “Does Rufus need a walk?” “Would you like me to program your VCR so it records Grey’s Anatomy?” Small helpful things that will give you something to do, and will be great for the patient.
5. Don’t be offended if the person you’re visiting is acting differently
Sickness affects people in a variety of ways, including psychologically. If your friend or family member is usually bubbly and talkative, but is suddenly quiet without much to say, don’t be offended or alarmed. Recovery is a long process, and it has a lot of stages and it does change people. Especially don’t be offended if your friend does something they’ve never done before, like ask you to leave so they can go to sleep, or tells you they just don’t want visitors. Trust that they’re doing what’s best for them, and try again later.

For more tips and info on Bikkur cholim, check out MyJewishLearning’s page which has their own longer and much more comprehensive list of tips.

A while back Laurel wrote about why you should get yourself a mezuzah for your home. It’s definitely a key item for any home. But mezuzahs, which signify that God is watching over our doorposts, and which serve as a constant reminder of God’s presence, are appropriate for other places besides your house or apartment. You can, for instance, get yourself a mezuzah for your car, which is especially appropriate if you have a long commute or spend tons of time on the road. If you work in an office that won’t be freaked out by a mezuzah, it makes sense to have one at work, too.
Your Online Mezuzah: Kiss it!
But many of us spend hours every day in a place that doesn’t seem to allow for a mezuzah: the internet. When I’m not attending classes I often spend most of the day at home, working from my dining room table, and clicking through hundreds of web pages in a few hours. In the sense that the internet has become a place we go to, it seems like it should have it’s own mezuzah.

Years ago I got an e-mail with a suggestion for an internet mezuzah, and though I’ve been googling like mad I haven’t found a site with a text of the e-mail, or an mention of the rabbi who wrote the e-mail. So if it was you who came up with the idea for an internet mezuzah, or you know who it was, please let me know. In the meantime, set your homepage to The Hunger Site. You’ve probably been to the Hunger Site a few times. Someone sent you a link reminding you, so you went and clicked on the little yellow button. Later, because of you 1.1 cups of food were donated to an organization devoted to fighting hunger. Maybe you also clicked on the tabs for the other associated sites, The Breast Cancer Site, The Child Health Site, The Literacy Site, The Rainforest Site and the Animal Rescue Site. It took, at most, two minutes to do all of this. Two minutes to make a fairly substantial tzedakah donation every single day. Not bad, right? And if you set it as your entrance point to the internet then you’re making tzedakah your entrance into the virtual world.

Making the Hunger Site your online mezuzah is the kind of spiritual action you can do without thinking. It’s a painless way of engaging with tzedakah and with God. Make it a part of your daily practice today.