• Matzah and Nudity: a winning combination?In one last round of Passover-related news, a 27-year-old yeshiva student in Israel went into a supermarket and got totally undressed, save for a sock on his cock. He was protesting the recent Israeli ruling that allows chametz to be sold during Pesach in places that are not public—including supermarkets and pizza places. The nude student was arrested by Israeli police for suspicion of performing an indecent act in public.
  

• In Jerusalem, Israel's national water company, Mekorot, has shut off the pipeline that brings water from the Kinneret because of crumbs of bread that fisherman on the lake drop into the water. During Passover the water in Jerusalem comes from local reservoirs and wells.

• Tonight in Tel Aviv a number of Conservative, Reform, and independent congregations will be gathering at the beachfront for a cross-denominational prayer to commemorate the splitting of the Red Sea, and to ask for the speedy release of the three captive Israeli soldiers Gilad Shalit, Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser.

In non-Pesadik news:

• A New Year’s card that Anne Frank sent in 1937 has been found in an antique shop in Amsterdam.
  

• Jdate was nominated for a social networking Webby.

• A Florida human rights board ruled in favor of a woman who wanted to put a mezuzah on the doorframe of her condo. Laurie Richter was told by her condo association that if she didn’t take her mezuzah down she could face a $1000 fine, but the Broward County human rights board found that the Port Condominium could not make that demand. The condo association could face up to $11,000 in fines.

• Proving once again that dorky Jews can be sexy, a Brandeis University group called Students for Environmental Action (SEA) has put out a calendar called BARE: Brandeisians Advocating Real Environmentalism, which features 25 student models posing nude with strategically placed fruits, bicycles and computer chords. The calendar costs $10 and helps raise money for the group’s annual organic and locally grown food banquet. Maybe they should hang out with that yeshiva student in Israel…

• The Conservative movement’s halachic policy committee will be voting in May on a rabbinic legal opinion having to do with providing workers with a fair wage. Debate has already begun to get heated, with some rabbis saying that paying fair wages puts Conservative Jews at an economic disadvantage, and others saying that it’s an issue of social justice and cannot be compromised.

• This week saw two stories of rabbis involved in sexual abuse scandals. Rabbi Yehuda Kolko, who was accused of sexually molesting a number of young boys at Yeshiva Torah Temimah in Flatbush, pled guilty to three lesser charges of child endangerment and got three years of probation. It’s not clear why Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes was willing to drop so many charges in the high profile case.

• The chief rabbi of Kiryat Bialik in Israel is finally under house arrest after he was arrested more than a month ago on charges of sexual abuse and committing indecent acts with female Religious Council workers. The charges go back at least 18 years. 

Enjoying The Moment: while thinking aheadIt might seem a little premature to start planning for next Passover when we’re still in the throes of the great matzo shortage of 2008, but if anything, this should be a lesson to plan for the future. Instead of winging it every year, buying random boxes of whatever sketchy, prepared-for-Passover foods happen to be on sale at the supermarket, here are some strategies to ensure that Passover goes more smoothly next year. These five easy steps will save major time in 2009.

1. Lists, Not Listless: Document everything you bought this year. If you hosted a seder or another big meal, keep a copy of the menu. Save receipts, too--but what you really want is a list of how many boxes of farfel you needed, and how many jars of pickles you went through. If you’re hardcore, you can even use a spreadsheet.
2. Waste Not, Want Not: At the end of the holiday go through everything and see what you have left. If you bought five boxes of matzah but only ate two boxes, there’s no reason to buy another five boxes next year. Add a column to your list or spreadsheet, keeping track of what you actually used. This is a nice and easy way to integrate Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin’s philosophy of “enoughness” into Passover.
3. Roger, Copy That: Instead of sifting through the glut of random kosher for Passover recipes, save the ones you loved, make copies of them, and put them all in one binder together. Next year: Voila!
4. Eyes On Supplies: Label all new utensils, pots, and pans that you buy clearly. If there are any that are on their last legs, toss them and add them to your shopping list for next year, so that you're not short a serving dish or spatula in the midst of next year's prep.
5. Taste Test: While people are still finishing up leftovers, ask friends if you can sample some of their more successful recipes. That way, you don’t have to take their word for it that their lemon matzah kugel was great—you can taste it and decide for yourself if you want to make it.
   

These easy steps will make next year’s preparations simpler, faster, and more economical.

Related: Jewcy's Guide to Passover

Presidential Matzo: dry, bland, empty caloriesRemember last winter's Huckabee Christmas message with the "hidden" cross? Now that it’s Passover, it's time for the remaining presidential candidates to release statements about what the holiday means to them.

• Hillary explains that she's moved by the spirit of social justice.
• Barack is inspired by the educational sensibilities of the seder.
• Meanwhile, John McCain flexes his Zionist muscles, reminding us that three Israeli soliders, Gilad Shalit, Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev cannot effectively celebrate the holiday of redemption when they remain in captivity.

The New York Times decodes each candidate’s statement, labeling Clinton’s message “liberal,” Obama’s “multicultural,” and McCain’s as “Zionist.”

But the statements themselves have little-to-no-substance. The candidates are just trying to cover their bases, to demonstrate that they care about their Jewish constituency, and though it’s commonly accepted as empty rhetoric, (the Times reminds us that the statements are released mainly “because there’s a risk of giving offense to some group or other if they don’t.”) we still go through the motions of deconstructing each statement and trying to deduce some substance from within the fluff.

Does anyone really think that a 200 word statement is a good indication of how invested any candidate is in the Jewish community? Does it really make any sense to try to glean something from these press releases when they were certainly written by staffers, and are accompanied by a flurry of other statements on everything from Earth Day to Equal Pay Day? If we really want to know how these candidates feel about Jews and the issues that are important to most Jews today, we should be examining voting records, and exploring each candidate's connection to the Jewish community. Detailed analyses of Passover statements is like the second seder: It might be fun, but it’s not covering any new ground.

Just in time for Passover, lots of religious pet news! This week we learned that Pope Benedict XVI's loves cats -- he even has an authorized biography written by a furry friend named Chico who was his neighbor in Germany. The book is called “Joseph and Chico: The Life of Pope Benedict XVI as Told by a Cat" (as told to journalist Jeanne Perego).

As for Jewish furballs, a recent article at Petside.com suggests that Passover is the perfect time to have your pets keep kosher too. While the dogs at my seder (there were four!) seemed to enjoy a stray matzoh ball, the article doesn't offer much insight into KforP pet food. It does, however, provide some helpful hints for keeping Fido kosher the rest of the year:

The companies that now provide kosher kibble adhere to the strict separation of meat and dairy to qualify the food as kosher for animals. This does not make the pet food kosher for human consumption, and in a kosher household, the animal’s dish would have to be washed in a bathroom or laundry room sink, separate from the kosher supplies in the kitchen.

Of course, there are no Jewish laws stating that pets must keep kosher, but for pet owners, it can be a way to ensure that beloved dogs and cats are getting high quality food. In no time at all, they'll be ready for their Bark Mitzvahs.

The Passover/Exodus Narrative: a universal tale of freedomPassover is a time of asking questions, and I have a few. This year, though, the furor that surrounded Barack Obama’s pastor, Jeremiah Wright, and his sermons that dared to suggest that this Christian nation may actually be earning God’s wrath and damnation for some of its behavior, reminded me of an issue I’d first encountered in South Africa: The idea that the Passover/Exodus narrative of the Hebrews’ flight from Pharaoh and slavery doesn’t belong exclusively to any tribe, but is a universal tale of freedom into which suffering people everywhere are able to insert themselves. And also that even if your forebears were victims of injustice, you’re quite capable of being a perpetrator of injustice.

I think the Rev. Wright furor offered many white Americans an introduction they found shocking to the reality that the black Church in America has always connected viscerally to the liberation narrative of the Biblical people of Israel, making that narrative their own as a source of succor for their own struggles and trials. Martin Luther King, remember, spoke of going to the top of the mountain and seeing the promised land, knowing that he might not make it there. In other words, casting himself as Moses. And it’s an ongoing, vibrant tradition that gives the African American church its special vitality.

The ability of oppressed people to find themselves in the Exodus narrative of liberation is, of course, precisely the point of that narrative. The problem in Egypt wasn’t simply that it was the Jews who lived in slavery; the problem was was slavery itself. And the antidote to slavery advocated in the Torah (the five Books of Moses) — human community constituted on the basis of law and justice rather than political authority claimed on divine grounds — is a universal one; it applies, absolutely equally, to everyone, and everyone is invited, as Moses did, to challenge authorities that offer anything less.

The God of Abraham, proclaimed as the one true god, is obviously everyone’s god; he’s not a tribal fetish; he’s been invoked precisely to challenge the sort of tribal fetish deities that the Egyptians had used to rationalize their system of oppression. So, the Passover/Exodus narrative has powerful resonance to all people of the Abrahamic faiths (and possibly others) who may find themselves confronting oppression.

But those who feel threatened by others' demands for justice -- oppressors who cloak their own abuses of others in pieties of Christian soldierhood or the Star of David as the brand icon of an occupation -- get very uncomfortable when they realize that others see them as inheritors, not of the righteousness of the Biblical Hebrews' flight to freedom, but of Pharaoh's attempts to suppress the Israelites.

But throughout the Old Testament, the Jewish prophets are warning the Israelites to take nothing for granted. The mantle of righteousness cannot be inherited genetically (surely, the God of Abraham is not a racist who judges people by their DNA) or claimed simply through vigorous prayer and observance of ritual; it must be earned in one’s conduct in relation to others. Thus Hillel’s famous definition of Judaism while standing on one foot: “That which is hateful unto yourself, do not do unto others; all the rest is commentary.” In other words, it is only via the decency of your behavior in the world that you can be a good Jew.

Jews who commit injustices against others would be unequivocally condemned by the Jewish prophets, just as those who drop bombs on others or sentence them to death are plainly deluded when they claim to be guided by the inspirational example of Jesus. That, I think, is the essence of what Reverend Wright was saying in those passages that caused so much controversy — that God would damn, not bless, an America that committed injustices. To which I’d add, in line with Rami Khouri’s profound challenge to Israeli journalists at the height of the last Lebanon war, an injustice committed under a flag bearing the Star of David would be fiercely condemned by the Biblical Jewish prophets.

It was easy to see how little our Jewish genetic lineage did to make us really Jewish in the South Africa of my youth, where every Passover, we sat around seder tables singing, in a barely understood Hebrew, of the days when we were slaves, while the black women who lived in our backyards under a domestic labor system not that far removed from slavery, carried in steaming tureens of matzoh ball soup and tzimmes. We may have convinced ourselves that our DNA entitled us to claim this story as our own, but it was abundantly clear that in the South African context, most Jews had thrown in their lot with Pharoah, while the Israelites were working in their kitchens.

The mantle of justice associated with the Torah prophets, it seemed to me later, was nobody’s birthright; it had to be earned.

As a young activist heading out into the townships every weekend to meetings where communities were planning to resist eviction or burying those who had fallen in the fight against the regime, I was intrigued to hear the preachers and ordinary people couch their own struggles firmly in the narratives of the Exodus.

But around my own seder tables, the descendants of Pharoah’s slaves paid scant attention to the plight of those in their kitchens. They were discussing real estate and accounting scams — and, of course, how long it might be before “the schwartzes” (yiddish for “blacks”) would rise up and spoil the party.

If Hillel was right (and I believe he was) that Judaism is less about rituals and the minutiae of halachic law than it is about the ethical treatment of others, I can safely say that I learned very little of Judaism in the more than 200 hours of family Seders I sat through in South Africa. In keeping with thousands of years of tradition, we always kept a chair empty and a glass full in case the Prophet Elijah showed up. Looking back, I shudder to think what he would have made of the spectacle had he actually accepted the invitation.

I suspect he’d have dragged us over the coals in language not unlike that used by Reverend Wright. A friend once told me that his father, an Anglican priest, believed that whereas Christians had to work their way into heaven, Jews were basically on the guest list; our entry to Paradise was assured, by virtue of the fact that we’d been born Jewish. I thought that was a remarkably silly idea. Not only that; it’s remarkably dangerous, too, because it rationalizes moral laziness and injustice and violence committed in the name of a false righteousness. Unfortunately, I suspect, my friend’s father’s belief that as Jews, we are genetic entitlement to God’s favor, is all too widespread. Passover, and the universal tale of oppression and freedom it celebrates, is a good opportunity to burst that bubble.

[Cross-posted from Rootless Cosmopolitan]

Passover has taken quite a hit this year: First Manischewitz announced that it wasn’t going to produce any Tam Tams this year, and then Charlton “Moses” Heston passed on to that great gun range in the sky. Luckily, Jewcy’s here to help you cope. We’ve rounded up everything we’ve ever run on Pesach, then salted the mix liberally with some helpful links from outside sources. Need something you don’t see here? Leave a comment, and our readers just might be able to help you out.

THE BASICS

Not totally solid on the whole no-bread thing? Curious about whether having a Iraqi grandmother means you're allowed to eat rice? My Jewish Learning provides all the background information you could possibly need, while Interfaithfamily.com offers resources for Pesach and Easter.

THE SEDER

• How To: Clean For Passover
• Must Have: Laura Cowan's Space Age Seder Plate
• 5 Alternative Seder Styles for a Personalized Passover
• Must Have: The Passover Box of Questions
  
• Ganja is Off the Seder Plate
  

THE TEXT

• We Rate Ten Haggadahs
• Saying Dayenu to the Maxwell House Haggadah
  

THE FOOD

• Dozens of Recipes from the Jew York Times
• This Passover, Forget Your Bouillon Cubes
• Manischewitz Screwed Up, Passover's Gonna Suck
• Passover with Martha Stewart

THE MEANING

• Passover: The Extra Day is YOUR Day
• Counting the Omer
• Slate Explains Why Easter Doesn't Overshadow Passover
• Slate Looks at What the Passover Seder Reveals About InterfaithCouples

THE REST

• Passover: The Most S&M Jewish Holiday
• Seder Behind Bars
• Hump Day Art: Modern Day Exodus
• Clip of the Week: Jewish Mothers Behaving Badly
• Must Have: Alternative Jewish Grooves for Passover

 

 

"Everything means everything": Lapides liveComedian Beth Lapides, who has written about yoga and guest-blogged for Jewcy in the past, has a new piece about the Holiday of No Bread called "Passover and Over." Being highly associative and from LA, she likes Passover because of the symbolism and potential for bondage puns. Check out the clip, below, and then listen to the whole thing at Audible.com.

Let my people go: Ancient Egyptian prison scenePassover is a time to commemorate our freedom, but as New York Magazine points out, perhaps no one understands the meaning of the holiday more than the Jewish inmates at Otisville Prison. The Jewish prisoners, who number about 60, hold a yearly Seder at the medium-security facility in upstate New York. Unlike the ancient Israelites, who were enslaved by Pharaoh against their will, the inmates at Otisville are mostly white collar criminals. Still, prison chaplain Gary Friedman argues that the Seder allows the men to celebrate freedom, at least in the metaphorical sense. “The Haggadah has a line that reads ‘Tonight we are all free men,’ and for the duration of the Seder, they are.”

Looking for a way to personalize and enliven your seder this year? Trade the traditional four questions in for 35 new ones. The Box Girls Passover Box of Questions is a set of cards with themed conversation starters such as "What are our modern day plagues" and "To what are you personally a slave?" In addition to the 35 question cards, each box also contains 20 place cards and 20 passover stickers.

Boxes are $19.95, and a portion of the proceeds go directly to charities benefiting children and families. Here are some sample cards:

Previously: Laura Cowan's Moon Seder Plate

This Year We Carbo-Load: with matzo ballsWith Passover lurking just around the corner, the wires are buzzing with seder stories:

• This year the Boston marathon falls on Passover, so Jewish runners who are accustomed to a carbo-loading with pasta and bread the night before are seeking out kosher-for-Passover alternatives like potatoes. Might we suggest matzo balls?

• The butchers at Le Marais in New York, which ships kosher-for-Passover meat anywhere in the U.S., have filled five-figure orders for seders-at-sea, and they're still taking calls. So much for that animal liberation seder idea we floated.

• Rabbis from the Jewish Outreach Institute want people to watch their mouths this Passover--and not just in regards to chametz. They're calling for us all to eliminate bigoted and negative speech from our seders.

• In Huntsville, Alabama, more than 1300 Christians of all denominations will come together for an annual seder called Christ Our Passover. This year they’re presenting a $10,000 check to the Jewish Federation of Huntsville and North Alabama, but some of the Jews in the community feel like they’re being bought by the goyim.

• In non-Passover related news, the Prayer for Israel, first published by Israel’s chief rabbinate just after the founding of the State, is now being called into question by a number of unaffiliated synagogues and minyans. They object to the way it implies that the creation of a Jewish state is the dawn of the messianic age, and some have written alternative prayers in response, or eliminated the Prayer for Israel from their liturgy altogether.

• Israeli Rabbi Elior Chen, who is being charged with several counts of child abuse, seems to have fled to Canada. He’s hiding from the Israeli police and government, which is working on extradition proceedings in connection with severe abuse charges regarding children as young as three and four. The children were reportedly beaten with hammers and knives, and one sustained permanent brain damage. Chen is allegedly an advocate of disciplining children via abuse, and police found journals detailing specific and systematic ways to abuse his children left as instructions for his wife while he was away raising money. The Canadian government won’t confirm whether or not they are working with the Israelis on the extradition.

• The Orthodox Union sponsored a fair to showcase Orthodox communities all over the country that are cheaper and more livable than New York. Frum couples struggling to find affordable housing and education for their families were encouraged to consider cities like Memphis, Denver, and New Orleans. The kosher catch 22: There aren't nearly as many kosher restaurants when you leave the tri-state area, but most people can only afford to eat in kosher restaurants if they're not paying New York rents.

Yes, you can have you seder catered, but that’s no fun at all. If you don’t feel up to making a brisket and matzah ball soup for 30, at least try making your own charoset—it’s fun, easy, really yummy, and there are tons of different kinds of recipes to try. And remember, charoset is supposed to look like mortar, so the results can be plenty ugly as long as they taste sweet.

charoset: looks nasty, but you know you love itTraditional Ashkenazi Charoset

• 5 pound bag of apples (I like red delicious, but if you want your charoset tart, use granny smith), peeled and cored.
• About half a bottle of sweet red wine (Manischewitz works great)
• 1/3 to ½ cup of cinnamon
• one big bag of walnuts (about a pound)

Grind the apples and walnuts until they’ve formed a weird beige kind of runny paste. Add cinnamon and wine and keep trying until you get the consistency and taste you’re looking for. Ideally, you’d do the grinding with a meat grinder, but a food processor will work as well. Makes enough for two seders of twenty people each.

Looking for a gourmet take? Try Wolfgang Puck’s recipe.

Traditional Sephardi Charoset

Sephardi charoset usually contains dates, and is a little chunkier than its Ashkenazi cousin.

• 4 oz dates
• 4 oz figs
• 4 oz apricots
• 4 oz raisins
• 1 apple (Macintosh, preferably), peeled and cored
• 1 cup walnuts or almonds, ground
• 1 tablespoon honey
• Manischewitz
• cinnamon

In a food processor, grind the dried fruits until they’re chunky and add the apple, which should moisten everything a little. Mix in the ground nuts and the honey, and add some manischevitz until you have the consistency you want (sticky and chunky is the norm, but go with your gut) Then you can either add cinnamon to taste, or roll the charoset into balls about the size of a walnut and refrigerate. A few hours before serving, roll the balls in the cinnamon so they’re completely coated. Serve at room temperature. Makes enough for about 30.

For a gourmet take, try the recipe at Epicurious.

There’s a couple of great collections of Charoset recipes online if you’re looking to be more adventurous. The Canadian Jewish News covers the classics alongside recipes for Coconut and Lemon Charoset, Maple Charoset, Seven Fruit Charoset, and Turkish Charoset. Jewishfamily.com has charoset recipes from Morocco, Afghanistan, and India. Finally, Kosher4passover.com covers every exotic Charoset you could possibly imagine, including Provencal and Georgian.

If Ab Fab's Patsy and Edina had been born as kvetchy Jewesses with Boston accents, they might have been Ronna and Beverly. The comedy duo (a.k.a. Jessica Chaffin and Jamie Denbo) are taking their Jewish-mothers-behaving-badly act on the road, stopping off at NYC's UCB Theatre this Thursday. Check out this clip (featuring Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz as Beverly's "girl") and watch as Ro and Bev prep for Passover in all their Atavan-fueled, self-involved glory. Paint the Jews in the best light it doesn't, but would it kill you to laugh a little?

Related: Yentas United Against Intermarriage

Laura Cowan's Moon Seder Plate: available in your friendly neighborhood Jewcy storeTel Aviv-based Judaica designer Laura Cowan's space shuttle-themed mezuzot may be on their way to the International Space Station with astronaut Greg Chamitoff, but her celestial Moon Seder Plate is right here in our very own Jewcy store. Inspired by the craters of Earth's satellite, the play of light and dark and the shiny, reflective finish offer a uniquely modern take on an ancient ritual object. Looking to update your Passover table? With the holiday only two weeks away, now is the time to order!

Previously: No Sweat Gear Made in Bethlehem

Related: Q&A with Laura Cowan, Judaica Designer to the Stars, 5 Jewish Astronauts Who Brought Their Judaica into Space

Fancy Shmancy: a Martha Stewart Passover table setting, replete with Tiffany-blue Haggadah. Excuuuuse me.A haggadah can make or break your seder. Don't believe me? Read the standard Maxwell House Haggadah, and I promise you'll be bored out of your mind. The good news is, there are alternatives out there. Here are five tips to help you choose one that will keep you awake and asking deep questions long into the night.

1. Know Your Audience: Is your seder going to have countless kids? Numerous boomers? A gaggle of teenagers? Ten vegetarians? Several seniors? Keep this in mind when you’re selecting a haggadah. If you're going kid-friendly, you definitely want something with great pictures, and maybe even activities to keep everyone occupied. If there are mostly seniors at your seder, consider choosing something that emphasizes history, or that’s more academic.
2. Check Out the Illustrations: A haggadah with great text but weird illustrations is kind of a drag to use (the Feast of Freedom, for instance). Often the illustrations are a commentary in their own right, so when you’re rifling through haggadahs in the store, check out the pictures: It's a good way of predicting if the interpretation is going to speak to you.
3. Keep Length in Mind: If you’re looking to be in bed by 10:30, you probably don’t want seventy pages of reading during the Magid section. Of course, you can pick and choose what you’ll read, but you don’t want your guests to be overwhelmed. On the other hand, if you like epic seders, then look for a haggadah that’s got plenty of commentary on every page.
4. Look For Themes: If you’re going to be hosting a crew of vegetarians, mostly women, people of many faiths, or tons of tree-huggers, don’t be afraid to check out haggadahs geared specifically to your guest list. Yesterday we told you about ways to make your whole seder themed, but it really all starts with a haggadah.
5. Feel Free to Mix and Match: There’s no rule that says you have to go around the table taking turns reading paragraphs from the same book. If you can’t decide on one haggadah for everyone to use, get an assortment and let people choose the one they like best. You can also copy specific pages you like from different haggadahs (if you’re on a budget, try your local library, where you can check out haggadahs for free) and assemble your own haggadah made up of different parts from different books.

Related: 5 Alternative Seders

 

Want Out of the Fast of the Firstborn?: crash a wedding and chow down This year, the fast of the firstborn, Taanit Bechorot, falls on Thursday, April 17th. Should you be fasting? Here’s the lowdown:

1. What It's All About: Remember the tenth plague, death of the firstborn sons? Recollect how the Jews marked their houses with the blood of a pascal lamb, so God would know not to kill Jewish firstborn sons? Taanit Bechorot is a sunrise to sunset fast specifically for firstborn children (we’ll get to the daughter/son issue in a minute) to commemorate how they were saved from being slaughtered in the plague.
2. When to Abstain: Usually, the fast falls on the day before Passover starts, but because Passover starts on a Saturday night this year, and we’re only allowed to fast on Shabbat for Yom Kippur, Taanit Bechorot is pushed to Thursday.
3. Loopholes: The Rabbis knew that the day before Passover wasn’t a great time to be asking people to not eat (everyone deserves a pre-Passover donut fix, right?) so there are a number of suggested ways to get out of fasting. For instance, you generally can’t fast if you attend certain ceremonies that require festive meals, such as a bris, a wedding, a bar or bat mitzvah, or a siyum. Firstborns are encouraged to go to such ceremonies so they won't have to fast.
   
4. Equal Opportunity Fasting: Are firstborn women obligated to fast on Taanit Bechorot? As you might expect, there’s some controversy around this question. Some authorities say that only firstborn men should fast. If a child is too young to fast, his father fasts for him, and if the father is a first born and has to be fasting already, the mother fasts for the child. But there are many communities where women are considered to be obligated as well. This is based mostly on a Midrash that says that Bitya, Pharoah’s eldest daughter, was saved because of the merit of Moses. This implies that other Egyptian women weren’t saved, so the miracle applies to women as well.
5. Insatiable Appetite for Fasting Knowledge?: For more background on Taanit Bechorot, check out MyJewishLearning, or Daily Halacha. For more on the debate about whether women are obligated, check out a JOFA article called “Women and the Fast of the Firstborn.”

Cleaning for Pesach: is a snap! Kind of.It’s the time of year again when some people go apeshit in their attempts to clean all chametz from every last crevice of their homes. You can skip the spring cleaning in favor of a Passover vacation, or you can do the massive purge and give your home the sacred scrubbing it probably needs. If you do the latter, don't go overboard: There are some specific rules about what you need to do in order to fulfill your halachic obligations, and after that it’s just picking up and throwing out however much junk you want to get rid of. Here are some rules and tips:

• There are two requirements for cleaning: Biur chametz, which is the act of getting rid of the chametz, and bedikat chametz, destroying the chametz. The first one is easy. You can actually still have the chametz in your home as long as you consider it to be dust—valueless and without an owner. That said, it’s hard to rationalize Girl Scout cookies as valueless, no matter what you tell yourself. That's why the rabbis instituted bedikat chametz, which is much trickier. In addition to writing off chametz as dust, you also have to search out any chametz you can find, and destroy it.

• The top priority when cleaning for Pesach should be the kitchen. You should clean inside your fridge and freezer, give the stove top and oven a hardcore scrubbing if you don’t have a self-cleaning setting, and get into all of the crevices of your cabinets, pantries, and drawers.

• After the kitchen, the dining room and other eating areas are where you want to focus your energy. These are the places where you’re most likely to have crumbs of old food that’s still edible, and thus technically chametz.

• Chametz is a technical term for anything that has resulted from a grain fermenting. But we only have to get rid of edible chametz, or chametz that would count as food. A bagel crumb that has been sitting on your kitchen floor for a year doesn’t count as edible chametz because you wouldn’t consider it food. So technically, an old bagel crumb is no problem. (Don’t worry about the possibility of a baby eating that bagel crumb—just because a baby eats it doesn’t mean it’s food. Babies try to eat all kinds of things that aren’t really food. The bagel crumb still isn’t chametz). That said, why haven't you swept your floor in a year?

 

• There’s one other category of things that you don’t have to worry about. Anything a dog wouldn’t eat doesn’t have to be removed or destroyed. I don’t know why you’d want to keep it in your kitchen if a dog wouldn’t eat it, but I won’t judge.

 

• Unless You Tend To Eat On It: you don't have to clean the toilet. although it could use a good scrub...Either you’re going to get rid of as much chametz as possible, or you’re going to make sure that any chametz that might be around the house would be considered inedible. Even if you only give the kitchen corners a half hearted attack with some kind of cleaning solution, whatever chametz is in those corners will be tainted by the cleaning solution and is no longer edible, so you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

 

• Though it’s important to be vigilant about cleaning for Pesach, you should be careful with cleaning solutions that could harm you or your family. Every year, Israeli hospitals have a sharp increase in cases of children being poisoned after being exposed to toxic chemicals while their families clean for Pesach. Read labels carefully, and keep the house well ventilated when using strong chemicals. Even better, use a non-toxic "green" product, such as Simple Green.

• Finally, relax! If you’re so stressed out by cleaning that you can’t enjoy the seders, you’re working way too hard. Pesach should be fun, not a yearly peak in blood pressure.

Related: Alternative Jewish Grooves for Passover, Passover Vacations are Becoming a Trend, Manischewitz Screwed Up, Passover's Gonna Suck

Why Is This Night Different?: because we're in cancun, baby!For years Jews have proclaimed "Next year in Jerusalem" at the end of their Passover seders, but a growing trend toward Pesach travel has some Jews setting their sights on future seder destinations like Mexico, Italy, and South Africa. For these jet-setting Jews, commemorating their liberation and slaving away cleaning house and home just don't mix.

A number of big cruise lines provide matzo, cater seders, and employ rabbis during Passover-week cruises, while various hotels offer strictly kosher-for-Passover facilities where holidaymakers can partake in the ritual meal. Many even offer lectures, classes, and other programs.

Here are five companies that specialize in Jewish travel and Passover vacations:

Lasko Tours: From the Eastern Caribbean to the Norwegian Fjords, Lasko gets around. Their Passover hotels include the Eden Roc Resort & Spa in Miami Beach, Florida; the JW Marriott Desert Ridge Resort in Phoenix, Arizona; and the Ritz-Carlton, Lake Las Vegas Golf and Spa Resort.

Mendy Vim's: "Charming villages, rushing rivers, rolling hills, verdant valleys, and some of the best antiquing in New England." That's what you'll get if you sign on for one of Mendy Vim's two Passover tours, hosted at the Heritage Resort & Spa and Pomperaug Golf Club, and the Waterbury Connecticut Grand Hotel, in Southbury and Waterbury Connecticut. It's all about trails and tennis, swimming and sauna, matzo and maror...

Totally Jewish Travel: These guys claim to offer the "widest choice of kosher for pesach resorts, hotels, vacations, cruises and more, all over the world," and they're not kidding. Australia? Check. Costa Rica? Check. Italy, Greece, Switzerland, Israel, Mexico, and South Africa (to name a few)? Check, check, check!

Kosherica: Whether you want to celebrate Passover in Puerto Rico or on the Italian Riviera, Kosherica offers an array of options for the globe-trekking Jew.

Afikoman Tours: Fans of the California desert might be interested to know that Elijah will be in attendance at the MiraMonte Resort and Spa in Palm Springs. Apparently the prophet likes a little Watsu with his wine.

With Purim now safely behind us (you're not too hungover to shop, are you?) and Passover a mere four weeks away, it's time to start getting in the seder mood. If we've learned anything from the big stories this week, it's that the lines between races and cultures can be very shifty. Hence, a collection of culturally and musically diverse tunes to serve as the soundtrack to your seder planning—or a good-humored gift for the person hosting you.

 

	The SoCalled Seder "A mini hip hop symphony filled with old Jewish samples centered around the theme of the Passover Seder."
	This is the Afro-Semitic Experience "A mix of Jewish and African-American music both sacred and secular...The Afro-Semitic Experience is an ensemble dedicated to preserving, promoting and expanding the rich cultural and musical heritage of the Jewish and African diaspora. Multi-cultural soul."
	Reggae Passover "Reggae and West African arrangements of traditional and original music for the exodus holiday of Passover, played by an international ensemble featuring reggae artists, cantors, and some of the finest drummers West Africa has to offer."
	Abayudaya: The Music of the Jews of Uganda "A unique collection of African-Jewish music in which the rhythms and harmonies of Africa blend with Jewish celebration and traditional Hebrew prayer. This compelling repertoire is rooted in local Ugandan music and infused with rich choral singing, Afro-pop, and traditional drumming."

 

Previously: Letters of Creation Necklace, Readymade Purim Baskets

 

Tam Tam Troubles: manischewitz leaves us in a lurchWith Passover less than two months away, matzo aficionados are getting psyched to indulge in some serious unleavened products! Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but many of us have come to depend on and even enjoy Passover products like the Manischewitz Tam Tam cracker. Sadly, fans of the beloved Tam Tam may well be denied this Exodus season.

In the biggest Passover food setback since the Jews fleeing Egypt before their bread could rise, chosen food company Manischewitz announced today that due to an unforeseen construction delay it will not be producing several of its regular matzo products this year, including Tam Tams, Shmura Matzo, and Yolk Free Egg Matzo. Quality since 1888, my tuchus.

After last Passover, Manischewitz began construction on a new, $15 million facility that it expected would be completed in time for normal operation this season. Things did not go according to plan. Upon being asked whether the company expects a decrease in profits because of this situation, Manischewitz V.P. David Rossi replied, “Sometimes you take one step back to take two steps forward.” Sounds like he’s been listening to too much Paula Abdul.

Somewhere out there, a Jewish bubbe is saying, “When I was your age, we didn’t have any of this fancy shmancy matzo. We ate regular, no-nonsense matzo that tasted like cardboard, and it was enough, damn it.” Dayenu!

You Need This: and you will not rest until you possess it.For those of you who need 190 government-impounded, "Shalom"-emblazoned ceramic mugs -- and I know, who doesn't? -- go here for the bargain of your life. Seems Westchester County found two trailers chock full of Judaica:

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. (AP) - Westchester County is selling tchotchkes. By the trailer load.

Just in time for next week's start of Hanukkah, the county is using the eBay auction site to dispose of thousands of items, mostly Jewish-themed novelties, that were abandoned in two storage trailers on county property.

On Monday, someone bought 100 rolls of Hanukkah wrapping paper for $46.

"We have used our eBay site to auction off lots of unusual surplus items over the past couple of years," county Executive Andy Spano said, "but these have to be our most unusual sales."

Up for bidding on Tuesday was a large supply of Passover games and toys, including 108 jigsaw puzzles, 28 collections of rubber stamps and 28 "All About Passover" books. There also was a large supply of mugs, including 140 that measure 8 ounces and have "Shalom" written on them.

Offerings will appear on the site for several weeks, the county said.

I'd be tempted to bid as high as $20 for "MATZAH WINE BAGS - 48 BAGS" and "GENUINE MATZAH BALL - 60 PKGS," among other goodies. But the downside is the highest bidder must schlep to Westchester, which I understand is outside New York City somewhere.

Source. Westchester's ebay page.

There are precisely two parts of Passover that I like. One is making my family’s charoset, which I do with an old meat grinder, as per my grandfather’s custom. This is What Charoset Should Look Like: Meat grinders NOT optionalThe other is the prayer for dew, tefilat tal that we say on the first day of Passover. I missed tefilat tal because I wasn’t in walking distance of a synagogue on the first day of Passover, but I’ve been thinking a lot about it today since it’s pouring in Nashville.

Twice every year Jews praise God for providing us with water and rain. On the last day of Sukkot, during the Musaf Amidah, we open the ark, and the person leading services dons his or her kitel and sings tefilat geshem, a special prayer that recalls all of the forefathers, plus Moses, Aaron, and the tribes of Israel. Each is connected to water. Abraham’s gardens were saved from fire and from water, Isaac’s blood was almost spilled at the sacrifice like water, Jacob struggled with a creature of fire and of water, Moses hit the rock and out came water, Aaron purified himself and the other priests with water, and the twelve tribes were lead through walls of water to freedom. At the end of each stanza of the poem we beseech God to grant us water (i.e. rain) in the coming months. It’s a really beautiful prayer, and one that I think about every time I hear that the Kinneret is at record low, which is pretty much always.

For the next four months or so we add a line in the beginning of the Amidah asking God to cause the wind to blow and rain to fall. These four months are the rainy season in Israel, and if you’ve ever been in Jerusalem for a thunderstorm you know just how intense they can be. God is not kidding with that wind stuff, either.
I Dew: Love Dew
Then, on the first day of Passover, during the musaf Amidah we open the ark again, the person leading services again dons a kitel, and we say tefilat tal, the prayer for dew. But where tefilat geshem focuses on the spiritual and theological history of water, tefilat tal is much more practical. We need dew in order for our agricultural work to be productive. Urban life, too, is dependent on dew, we remind God, and we connect the role of dew in maintaining livelihoods in Israel to the return of Jews from the Diaspora. Though similarly structured, and composed by the same guy who wrote tefilat Geshem, Rabbi Eleazar Ha-Kallir, who lived in 7th Century Palestine, it’s interesting that the prayers for rain and for dew are pretty different.

It always struck me as weird that we don’t go ahead and ask God for rain even after the rainy season has pretty much ended. I mean, we could get lucky, right? And it’s not like we don’t still need rain after Pesach, it’s just less likely that we’ll get it because the wet season is almost over.

I once asked a rabbi about this, and what he reminded me of the famous lines from Kohelet: 3:1-2

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;

As Jews we have to recognize that there is a time for a rain, and a time for dew. We don’t get things randomly. Ours is a religion about respecting borders, and among the borders we have to respect are those of the seasons and the rains. We also have to learn to ask only for what we need without being greedy or wasteful.

These are all messages that resonate with me post-Passover. As I helped friends pack up their Passover dishes and uncover their counters and toss out uneaten macaroons it occurred to me that one of the most challenging lessons of Passover is to buy and make only what we really need. There’s a tendency to freak out and buy every K for P product one can find, especially in places like Nashville, where there aren’t many to choose from. But every year, when we’re left with extra food what we should be thinking about is how to ask for and buy only what we really need without going overboard.

You know how environmental activists are always goin on about sustainable ecosystems? This year, make a pact to make your kitchen a sustainable environment. It should be able to provide for you and your family, but think about cutting back on the extras. It’ll put more cash in your pocket, and maybe even a few extra drops of dew on the hills of Galilee.

In the special Torah reading for the Shabbat of Passover, we continue reading about the Passover saga, starting from where the Seder left off: the day after the crossing of the sea.

Dayenu, cry the tired ex-slaves, on their eternal journey to freedom – enough already! But fed by manna, torn by ongoing strife, the children of Israel trudge on through the wilderness on their way home. Except that none of the “children” who left Egypt will actually make it there – their children, the next generation, born in Sinai, will inherit the promise.

This is Faith: Crossing this desert was probably just as much fun as it looks.Residues of how bitterly this story ends for so many are still in our teeth this post-seder morning, along with bits of horseradish and matzah crumbs.

Yes, we won and here we are, but at what price did we obtain freedom? Would they have left Egypt if they knew that they would die in unmarked graves in the middle of nowhere? Given the same opportunity today, would any of us make that sacrifice? Are we capable today of having so much faith in the unknown?

Faith is a big deal in this Passover story. Perhaps that's why our ancient sages chose the "post-golden calf" scenario for the weekly Torah portion that falls on Passover – telling us something about hindsight and perspective, teasing our endless fascination with our futures.

Even Moses, the greatest prophet, is eager to know what's ahead. Moreover, he wants to see the head – the very face of the boss for whom he labors. In a famous passage in Exodus 33 – the bulk of this week's tale – he pleads with the Divine for forgiveness for the cattle - worshipping Hebrews (which is granted, sort of), and then demands to see God.

What follows is a cryptic description of a revelation far more intimate than at Sinai – for most translators treat the event as “God showing Moses God's behind,” quite literally. Some translators surprise us by delving further into this metaphor – addressing the human demand for empirical knowledge that will enhance faith as well as the seemingly Divine reluctance to supply “proof.”

In chapter 33 God instructs Moses to stand inside the cleft of a rock, eyes covered by God's hands, until the following happens:

And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen (King James Bible 33:23).

Here the translators added a footnote to the word “back”: “As much of my glory as in this mortal life you are able to see.” Most translators render the Hebrew word “achorai" as “God's back parts,” breezing through this shocking striptease without flinching.Michelangelo even depicted the very muscular behind of the Lord on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, two panels away from that famous finger. (How did he get away with that?!) But the traditional Jewish translators simply couldn't bring themselves to portray God as so fundamentally human, and instead translated this verse as allegory:.

The Back of God?: If God were to show his back to Moses, it would probably look something like this.The Aramaic Pseudo Jonathan translation provides one amazing image based on lore: God shows Moses the divine (and possibly feminine) nape, adorned with the leather phylacteries, and Tefilin shel rosh, a blurred vision amid a mob of angels:

"And I will make the host of angels who stand and minister before Me to pass by, and you shall see the edge of the tephillin of My glorious Presence; but the face of the glory of My Presence you can not be able to see. "

Meanwhile Onkelos, the other premiere Aramaic translator, usually quite literal, gets very philosophical:

"And I will take away the word of My Glory, and you shall see that which is after Me, but My Aspect shall not be seen."

There is a lot of hide and seek going on during a Passover seder – broken matzahs traded in for expectations and prizes. But maybe the real hide and seek is more internal, echoed in this mysterious passage. If even the greatest of prophets cannot know the future, what about us mere mortals? Perhaps the search for faith -- for the ultimate proof of God, the possibility of hope in narrow places and hard times, the promise of redemption, something to hold on to during the long way home -- is even more difficult. It may not be much, but for us at Lauviticus Headquarters, seeing God's ass is plenty comforting, and we walk on, single file, all the way to the next part of the story.

A Plague of Frogs: Doesn't quite recreate the terror, does it?A few years ago, I attended my first Seder with pretend plagues.  We had frogs and blood, and all kinds of other fun toys. I thought it was innovative, a neat way to make the Seder fun for kids, and   chance to kitsch up the table at the same time.

Then, this week, in the wake of Hilary Swank's plague-of-a-Passover-flick (which seemed horribly scheduled to convert our important holiday a tacky marketing tactic), someone said to me that they think the plague toys are really awful.  They claimed that playing with dead babies and knick-knack-locusts trivializes what we're attempting to remember as a momentous religious event.

 And when they put it like that I couldn't argue. It does seem really dumb. Easy.  A trick. Purchasing power in the place of prayer.

But it's hard, finding a balance at your Seder, a middle ground between meaning and fun.  The Seder is a celebration, but it's also a chance for reflection, and I'm not sure what I think anymore about the "fun" stuff.  I'm not sure I like the idea of toy atrocities, especially now that these little gimmicks are as common as... well, lice.

Plastic plagues, cute fun or useless trend?

Three years ago I read an article in the New York Times about the Ringling Brothers Circus going Kosher for Pesach. I can’t link to the full article anymore because you need to be a TimesSelect member to read it, but here are some highlights:Passover fun: Redemption means we get balloons and clowns and a lion tamer

With Cotton Candy And Potato Kugel, A 3-Ring Passover
By JOSEPH BERGER
Published: April 9, 2004

Here's how to make the circus kosher for Passover:

Sell hot dogs without rolls and buy two brand-new cotton candy machines -- uncontaminated by any leavened products -- so thousands of observant Jewish children can have this circus treat.

Insist there be no female performers, including the Lycra-clad star aerialist and horse trainer Sylvia Zerbini, a k a the Circus Siren, since the most rigorously observant Jews require modest dress of women.

That's how an Orthodox group in Brooklyn made it possible yesterday for 19,000 men, women and children to exult in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus at the Garden, and fulfill the Torah commandment to be joyful on Passover.

It was Ringling Brothers' first kosher performance.

But was it a real circus without the Circus Siren? ''It's not because we don't like ladies,'' said Rabbi Raphael Wallerstein, a yeshiva principal in Brooklyn who has become the reigning impresario of such Orthodox holiday events. ''I'm married with 13 children and over 30 grandchildren. We love ladies. It's out of respect for them.''

The Greatest Show on Earth had its ethnic flourishes. The band started the afternoon by playing ''Dayenu,'' a rousing song at the Passover Seder that children love. And David Larible, the master clown they call the Prince of Laughter, wore a yarmulke to perform a miracle that more than one youngster must have thought was right up there with the parting of the Red Sea and the Ten Plagues: he turned another performer into a goat for several heart-stopping seconds.

But mostly the children shrieked, gasped, guffawed and gazed in wonder like all children who experience a circus, maybe more so because most of these children don't have televisions and have never even seen a circus program.

''It was very scary,'' said Lazer Schlesinger, a 12-year-old from Flatbush with side curls, after seeing the lion tamer, Jason Peters, put his head in a lion's mouth. ''I was scared he was going to rip him up and eat him.''

The circus also agreed to the special accommodations, letting the organizers bring in their own food, including potato kugel, and reserve areas in the Garden for those men and women who want to sit only among members of their own sex.

Circus officials said they had performed for private groups before, but that yesterday's show was the first in the circus's 134-year history that has restricted female performers.

Rabbi Wallerstein also asked that the music be less hard-driving and that Crazy Wilson Dominguez, who crosses himself as he begins his gravity-defying walk on the whirling Pendulum of Pandemonium, do so out of audience view.

Tim Holst, Ringling Brothers' vice president for talent productions, said that as a result of these requests, the show had to be restaged in spots and extra rehearsals held. But the performers, he said, were ''very respectful to the requests of this audience.''

The Torah commands Jews to enjoy themselves on Passover and two other festivals. During the four intermediate days of the eight-day Passover holiday, when they can travel and spend freely, Hasidic and other rigorously Orthodox Jewish families stream through the Bronx Zoo, ride bicycles and navigate motorized sailboats in Central Park, fill seats at the baseball stadiums and frolic through the region's most adventuresome amusement parks. But there probably has been no holiday event on the scale of yesterday's extravaganza.

Okay, so a Kosher for Passover circus is pretty cool, but I can’t find any mention of it recurring this year. To be honest, though, I’m still recovering from the circuses that were my family’s seders, which included, among other things, Passover Plagues masks, repeated viewings of The Animated Haggadah, and a carbon monoxide scare which summoned a bunch of firemen who walked around my grandmother’s house waving sensors around and telling us to open windows and go to the hospital if we got headaches that wouldn’t go away.

Dayenu is right.

Leavened Goodness: Jesus is all about the sandwichI've had a lot of experience with naviagating holidays and intermarriage. First as a kid, and then, more recently, as a wife and mother.  It's never a perfect situation, but it can be interesting. It can lead to meaningful dialogue and new traditions... and the non-Jewish members of my family don't (as a rule) get in the way of my own Jewish practice.  Typically, they're supportive and loving.

Of course, I've had to make concessions.  Over the years I've come to terms with the fact that my husband (however supportive he may be) will never offer to fast for Yom Kippur himself .  He'll never want to go to services with me every week.  But to be honest, most of the Jewish boys I know feel the same... and as a rule, our arrangement works okay, so long as hubby's okay with raising Jewish kids, paying suynagoge dues, and never ever having bacon on the breakfast table.

But then comes Passover. 

Every year, I struggle at Passover.

Because it's HARD to give up all chometz.  Especially for a carb-loving man like my husband.  He's not a soup and salad kind of fellow. He's a cereal-for-breakfast guy, a big-ass-sub-for-lunch guy.   And eight days is a long time to go hungry.

It's not like he doesn't like Passover. He likes the Seder a lot, as well as the fruit slices, the merengues and macaroons.  But as he said yesterday, "You know how important the sandwich is to my daily survival..."

Though suddenly here is is, suddenly living in a house with no bread.  And let me tell you... if you didn't grow up with matzoh, it loses its charm after the first day.

So what to do?

In past years, I've made no effort to clear out the chometz. I've just left things as they were, and eaten around the bread myself.  This year, (I think because I want my son to see how it's supposed to be done) I really cleaned the house out, and now my husband is starving. 

He's not complaining much, but I feel bad.  Because this isn't his culture, his faith.  And he's so good about all my Jewish stuff.

So now I'm thinking that we need some kind of compromise. I've been considering making him a special "Daddy's chometz" box in the freezer. So that I won't have to see it, and the kids won't be able to get to it, but hubby can still nuke himself a roll and make a sandwich when he wants.  Maybe I'll paint on the side, "property of Hubby Jones (not his real name)" and we can say it belongs to him, and not me (though of course legally his chometz is my chometz).

That's the best I've been able to come up with. So far.  The "Daddy's Chometz" freezer box.  A new invention.

But I think I can do better, and I'm wondering if any of you have ideas on this matter. How