Mommyblogging Dearest

OMG I just want to EAT his little FACE: Keep the baby-talk indoors, pleaseSex, as Jaime Lynn Spears has recently reminded us, sometimes has consequences. Once a week we analyze what’s going on in post-nookie, post-partum circles.

This week: TMI! Holly Vitale at Babble hits a nerve with her diatribe against parents who drool all over their babies in public. I always sort of thought this was only an opinion held by callow, childless youth, so I’m pleased to discover that some parents are equally grossed out by having to witness scenes like this:

It's like they're having a moment, but the moment goes on and on. I look down at my six-month-old son and wonder if I've depressed him by not cooing enough; by not wrestling him enough; by not generating enough hyperbole around him.

Sandra and Kelly finally rest, panting like — dare I say it — spent lovers. And I kind of feel like I've been trapped in a honeymoon suite watching friends make out.

Vitale doesn’t really get into the reasons why excess babylove grosses her out, but she hints that it’s a competition she doesn’t want to get into: Who loves their kid more?

Speaking of PDA, over at Offsprung Hipster Handbook author Robert Lanham looks at what he calls “Peakers”—parents who publicize how totally fulfilling their sex lives are now that they’ve reproduced. Lanham thinks it’s a generational problem: All these thirtysomethings who came of age in the 90s spent their unencumbered years too busy being ironic to have sex, so they’re making up for lost time.

Which raises an important question. In which of the following conversations would you rather be a third wheel? Your options are:

A) "I think you're the most KISSED baby in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!” and

B) “Thank God I got a c-section. I would have hated for my vagina to lose any of its elasticity!”