As a new Jew, eager to learn and identify, I am so lucky to have so many people who are willing to help, each in their own way. One wonderful family friend sends me frequent emails when she comes across anything of Jewish interest, and I just stumbled across this YouTube video she sent me back in February.

For anybody who's ever been ashamed of being Jewish because it wasn't cool enough, this eight minute video is out to prove that "Judaism is Cool." It features businessmen, artists, songwriters, converted rabbis, and stay-at-home moms, all finding meaning in the Torah years after escaping "Jew jail" - the irrelevant and boring Hebrew schools of youth.

Check it out! 

If you liked this, check out its source: Simple to Remember, Judaism Online. The site offers a lot of insights on Judaism from various perspectives, everything from "Why Do People Hate The Jews?" to "Difference Between Judaism and Buddhism." Keep learning; enjoy!

I’ve already told you to make your reservations for Limmud NY because it’s going to be off the hook, but if you’ve waited you’ve got until December 28th to get the reduced rate.  Limmud NY has sold out every year in the past, so make sure to make your reservations before you’re shut out of all the rocking and rolling (and learning).

Limmud NY Rocks So Hard: It will blow your purple hair/fauxhawk/payis/sheitl back, for sure.

So my friend Adam sent me to this awesome blog by a chick who has insightful things to say about all kinds of things she’s learning from various Jewish texts. I really know nothing about her, but I loved this post about a playa-rabbi in Talmudic times. My favorite, though, are limericks she wrote that summarize a masechet of Talmud:
There Was An Old Man: from Pumpedita...

(2a)
All are obliged to appear
Before He-Who-Instills-In-Us-Fear
Unless you are not
Let me tell you, we've got
A long list of exceptions. Come, hear!

 

(2b)
A person half-slave and half-free
Says, "I serve both my master and me."
But he hasn't a mate
So he can't procreate
Thus says Shammai, "It simply can't be!"

 

(3a)
Can a mute learn? Well, it came to pass
Two mutes started attending a class
And when Rabi beseeched
That God heal those he'd teach
They gained speech, and their learning proved vast.

 

(3b)
Words of Torah are like cattle goads
That prevent cows from veering off roads
Thus with Torah we stay
On God's path, and don't stray,
Bringing life (not death) to our abodes.

 

(3b)
How to detect the insane?
Those who wander on dark lonely lanes,
Lie atop graveyard dirt,
Or start ripping a shirt.
Otherwise, you can trust he is sane.

 

There are a bunch more, so head over to D'yo Ilu Yamey to read them. There are also sonnets. If this chick was a guy living in Nashville I would totally date her.

Yesterday night I was talking online with a friend of mine and conversation got pretty awesome. I've redacted his name, but mine is still here. This is what happens when day school graduates grow up ...

You're So Frum: it's so hot

X says: you're so fucking frum
X says: it makes me sick
Tamar says: you are the first person ever to say that to me
Tamar says: thank you!
X says: just talking all day about toire toire toire
Tamar says: what else is there to talk about?
Tamar says: actually, it goes something like toire sex toire sex toire sex
X says: well, everything is actually toire
X says: sex is toire
Tamar says: depends if it's good sex or not
Tamar says: bad sex is not toire
X says: bad sex is i'm afraid
Tamar says: nuh uh
Tamar says: it's like midrash or something
Tamar says: not Torah mamish
X says: i'll accept that
X says: it's definitely misinai though
Tamar says:i'm not so sure
Tamar says: I’ll have to think about it

And then later:
Tamar says: good sex=pshita
Tamar says: bad sex=remez
Tamar says: or is it the other way around?
X says: peshita la lerabbanit tamar
X says: ipcha mistabra
X says: pshat is just sex
X says: remez is good sex
X says: sod is simultaneous orgasms
Tamar says: what's drash?
X says:blowjob?
Tamar says: you're amazing
Tamar says: will you be my rabbi?
X says: yeah baby
X says: i should write a book
X says: The orchard of sex
Tamar says:i'd buy it
Tamar says: there would be commentary and stuff on the sides
Tamar says: and diagrams
X says:you could talk down to your audience
X says:just like other artscroll books
X says: you'd love it
Tamar says: bend at the knees and then bow until you see the labia
X says: remember that with frum girls, the more you mumble during sex the better. she'll know you're talking to god
Tamar says:When you reach simultaneous orgasm say, "Oh Gee dash dee!"
Tamar says: or maybe, "Amen!"
X says: awesome
X says: the act of sex can be consider one long bracha
Tamar says: when do you say barchu u baruch shmo?
Tamar says: initial penetration?
X says: you don't
X says: it would be a hefsek
X says: the girl is yoitse on the guy's bracha

Tomorrow morning I’m giving the dvar Torah at my minyan. It won’t be about this week’s parsha, and among other things, it includes a brief excerpt from Merchant of Venice. Seriously.

Divrei Torah don’t have to be boring and obvious (‘Hey everybody, war is bad! The Torah says so! Shabbat Shalom. Adon Olam is on page 512’). If you’re into boring and obvious that’s cool, but if not, there are other ways to look at the weekly drash.
You Could Write A Dvar Torah: about The Clash!
Here’s my method for writing a rocking dvar:

Read through the parsha and wait for something that strikes you. If nothing does (and let’s face it, things get pretty slow for a while in Leviticus), try the haftarah portion. If there’s still nothing of interest, feel free to choose something from the siddur, or really any other place in the Torah that you want to talk about. Most people don’t actually care if the dvar Torah is on the weekly parsha, so if you’re dying to talk about Joseph but it’s July, don’t worry about it.

Identify at least one or two questions or ambiguities that you see in the text. If you have the means to read the commentaries yourself, it’s a good idea to see how classical commentators like Rashi, Abarbanel and Rambam have resolved the problem, if they see it all. If your Hebrew isn’t good enough to look at the commentators in the original and if you don’t have a translation available, try googling the chapter and verse using the Hebrew name for the book (“Bereshit 27:28”) or just try googling your question (Why are the people Joseph is sold to referred to as Midianites and then Ishmaelites?). More than likely you’ll be directed to some frum dvar Torah website that will give some traditional views on the problem. So now you’ve got your starting off point. But keep going. Think about how well the traditional commentaries satisfy your problem. Do you believe them? Do you think the problem maybe indicates something else was happening?

Now’s the fun part. Think back to other non-Judaic sources that might be relevant to the idea at hand. Maybe it reminds you of a newspaper article you once read, or a short story, poem, painting, piece of music, historical figure, or movie you’re familiar with. Try to narrow down the specific part of your new source that is relevant to the Judaic text. Maybe it’s agreeing with the original text, but more likely it’s providing a different take on the same idea. How does this new source make you think differently about what you read in the Torah?

If possible, I think it’s best to give people a source sheet with everything you’re referencing on it so they can follow along as you explain your new interpretation. At the end you don’t have to conclude with a pithy little lesson, but I do recommend at least reviwing what your original question or problem was, and then summarizing all sides of the dicussion.

Fun, right? You get to introduce people to ideas and sources that they might never have seen before, and that they might never have connected to Torah before. I’ve written divrei Torah that included pieces of John Donne’s Christian sermons, short shorts by Lydia Davis, and lyrics from a blues song by Son House. Sometimes I even read something so amazing that I think to myself, “Man, this should be in a dvar Torah!” And then I craft a dvar around it. Kind of sneaky, I know, but it usually comes out pretty well.

So give it a shot. You know how you’re always trying to get your girlfriend to listen to that Clash album, and she won’t because she says it’s loud and strange? If you can connect it to the splitting of the Red Sea, she might reconsider…

I’m nearing the end of my summer as a fellow at Yeshivat Hadar, and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Amazing faculty? Check. Awesome classes? Check. Swell group? Check. Fantastic summer? Hell yeah.
We Learn Torah: and rock on the side
If you’re interested in being a fellow next summer, drop by the Yeshiva today to sit in on a class, meet the faculty, and hang out with a gaggle of swell Torah-lovers. For a class schedule click here. Yeshivat Hadar is located at the corner of 69th and Amsterdam on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, in West End Synagogue.

I will admit to being obnoxiously addicted to my iPod. During the school year it’s not unusual for me to listen to it for four or more hours a day, and while a significant portion of that time is spent listening to music, I’m also a huge fan of the podcast. News podcasts, music podcasts, and cool radio shows like This American Life keep me company when I ride my bike to campus. One of my favorite things to listen to on my iPod (aside from Lip Gloss by Lil' Mama on repeat—thanks Annie!) is the awesome selection of Jewish learning podcasts. I am not even close to being able to keep up with learning a page of Talmud a day, but I’m a big fan of the two Daf Yomi podcasts available for free on iTunes (I can’t link to them, but just type “daf yomi” into the search window). You can subscribe to a weekly parsha podcast (I recommend the Pardes one—search for “Pardes”), do some meditation (search for “Jewish meditation”) or get Jewish book recommendations (via the Nextbook podcast. I actually had to unsubscribe from Nextbook because I was buying every book they recommended, and it was leaving me poor, if well-read). If you don’t have an iPod yet, but you’re thinking of getting one, you could shell out some cash for an iPod that already has the complete cycle of Daf Yomi uploaded onto it. For about $300 shaspod will send you an iPod that’s so frum it practically needs its own kipah.
My iPod Is So Frum: sometimes it looks at me and tells me to go put something more appopropriate on if I want to leave the house
If learning isn’t your thing, but you’re committed to davening, you can get yourself iDaven for about twenty bucks. The iDaven website brags:

With iDaven, there's no need to carry a spare Siddur with you for those Mincha moments – just open your iPod and pray! No need to search your purse for a bentcher – you've got your iPod! Sitting in the plane, Tefilat HaDerech is a breeze - read it on your iPod!

iDaven makes a great gift for the iPod fan in your family –it's simple, easy, and so cool!

iDaven features clear, razor-sharp Hebrew text with vowels on a white background. Each page of Hebrew text is a picture. Copy the pictures to your computer, synchronize with your iPod, and you're set!

I think that “so cool” might be something of an exaggeration, but it is kinda nifty.

Looking for something a little less yeshivish? The community where I’m learning this summer is offering free recordings of the classes online. We’ve got everything from an analytic look at various prayers to Biblical criticism to a look at what Maimonides said about business dealings with non-Jews (hint: it’s not good). Though the classes aren’t yet in podcast form, you can still listen from your computer while you fold laundry, cook dinner, or surf the web. You have to create an account in order to listen, but it’s worth it, and Hadar promises not to slam you with spam. Sign up and start learning by clicking here.

 

There’s no longer an excuse for slacking. Some of these podcasts are shorter than one express stop on the subway. If you sandwich it between the Jackson 5 and Amy Winehouse you’ll hardly feel a thing…

I’m going to be in New York this summer, and part of the reason I’m so excited about it is the proximity of my chevruta. A chevruta is a study partner, a person you learn Torah (or Talmuch, or Nach or whatever) with. Kind of like an AA sponsor, but for learning. The benefits of a chevruta are huge. Your partner will add insight, will bring another point of view, and will ask all kinds of questions that you hadn’t thought of.

To start your own chevruta you need to first pick a friend. It doesn’t have to be your best friend, it can be someone you know but not that well, someone that you get along with, but who you think might have a different take on things than you. Someone who’s adventurous and motivated and dedicated. Then set up a time to sit down together. Every week, every other week, once a month, but make it regular, so that you can really build it into your schedule. Having consistent study habits is the key to making this work.

Next, pick a book. If this is your first time learning text, you might consider Genesis, which is action packed, but is full of stories you’re probably somewhat familiar with. If you’ve done some text study before, I suggest either heading over to the Prophets, like Joshua, Judges, or Samuel I, or checking out some of the megillot. The books of Esther and Ruth aren’t too long, so if you give yourself a year to look at them in depth you can be confident that by next Purim or next Shavuot you’ll be done. If you’re interested in Jewish Law, start with Mishna, and instead of beginning with the laws of damages and found objects (why does everyone begin with that crap? It’s painfully boring! Grrr!) start with something more relevant to you, like Megilla or Nashim, laws having to do with Purim and women respectively.
This is My Friend Rebekah: And her chevruta
Once you’ve chosen what you want to study, you have to get the appropriate books. Ideally you should go to a Judaica store where you can browse and ask the salespeople what they recommend. But if you don’t have a Judaica store nearby, or you happen to have a gift certificate to an online bookstore or something, here are some suggestions:

For Torah study, I adore the JPS Commentary, which you can buy as a set of all five books, or in single volumes. Robert Alter’s translation and commentary is also nice, but I think for chevruta you should have a bit more commentary than he usually offers. For lots of fascinating and in depth discussion, plus added questions for you to think about, get a copy of Nechama Leibovitz’s commentary on the parshot. You can buy it volume by volume, or in a set, and it comes in Hebrew and in English. An excellent resource.

If you’re working with Joshua, Judges, Ruth or Esther, and if you’re set on something in English, Artscroll publishes a variety of useful texts. They’ve got a pretty right wing translation and agenda, but they offer lots of commentary in English, so it’s worth it to have one of their books on hand, and supplement it with something more wacky and liberal like this book about the political implications of the book of Esther. If you’re comfortable with Hebrew, I’m obsessed with the HaKeter series, which is gorgeous and very easy to read. And any basic mikraot gedolot will do.

For Mishna, in English there’s the trusty Artscroll, and in Hebrew, start with the Kehati which has lots of helpful hints.

Once you’ve chosen a text, sit down, and begin studying. This means you take turns reading the primary text, first in Hebrew, if possible, and then in English. Then ask any questions you might have, and try to clarify things. You can use the commentary in your text as a guide, but feel free to try to figure things out as you go along. Rinse and repeat.

When you’ve finished a chapter, a book, or a section, have a party, a siyum to celebrate all your hard work and study. Invite friends, make good food, and give a dvar Torah based on what you learned. Take pictures with your awesome chevruta and congratulate yourselves on being so cool and Jewish.

Remember these guys from Hebrew school?Often, when I want to learn about a subject, I go to the library, or a website, or I rent a documentary... and I find that there's already so much I DON'T know that I'm lost in the introduction.  Maybe you're so brilliant that this has never happened to you, but I doubt it.

And while Chaos Theory may be, by its very definition HARD, Jewish history, culture, and religious thinking should NOT be that hard.  So if you crack a "smart" book and find youself lost, you just need to dumb it down.  Which is where kiddie books (and movies too) can be helpful.

I want to offer that books intended for kids are often incredibly accesible, but surprisingly complete.  So you shouldn't be afraid to visit the children's section of the library, or the big evil bookstore.  Whether you want to learn about how to pray, bible stories, Jewish trivia, holidays... or whatever.

In fact, my very (smart and) gentile husband recently read a kiddie-book about Jewish history without any prompting  from me. If he can do it...

Oooh! Ooooh! Call on me.One of the very coolest things about Judaism is that it provides a chance to keep using your academic/philosophical brain... long after you've taken all your college texts to a used bookstore.  Judaism offers a chance to work through literature, tackle religious math, and hammer away at all kinds of ideas.  Business ethics?  We've got em!  Art appreciation?  It's all there!

Here in Atlanta we have an amazing series of Jewish lunch-and-learns run by our Kollel.  They're usually free, and almost always provide a meal!  And while no city is organized exactly the same, I guarantee you that there's a "learning" opportunity near you through Kollel, or Hillel, or any number of other Jewish agencies.  And I guarantee you that if you try one out, you'll find that you're welcomed, engaged, provoked... and you'll leave thinking about something...

Seriously, the first time I went to a lunch and learn, I found myself missing college.  In the daily grind of work and home, it's easy to forget the things you can do with your brain. Part of being Jewish is turning your brain on!