Yiddish modernism: High design from Henryk Berlewi This week in Jewish media:

• Kickass Yiddish Modernism. [Jewschool]
• Commentary considers beards: “By forbidding Jews to destroy their hair, the Bible warns them away from seeking the siren song of eternal youth.” Yes, but eternal youth is sexy! [Commentary]
• Jewlicious is all over the story of Don Siegelman, the imprisoned former Alabama governor. Siegelman is serving seven years for bribery, but he might have been targeted by Karl Rove as the lone powerful Democrat in a heavily Republican state. [Jewlicious, 60 Minutes]
• LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa: Honorary Sephardic Jew. [The Forward]
  
• Did you know that Patti Stanger, Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker,” is a third-generation yenta? Did you know that out of the reality show’s seven episodes, five feature Jewish millionaires? Bad, bad, bad for the Jews! [San Diego Jewish Journal]
  
• Remember that episode of My So-Called Life where Angela says she’s jealous of Anne Frank because she got to hang out in an attic with her crush? A photo of that crush, Peter Schiff, has turned up in Europe. [Yahoo, the Yada Blog]
• Remember that Dave Chappelle sketch about the blind African-American KKK member? (For some reason I can only find it online in German.) Pinchads Zlotosvsky used to be a Neo-Nazi. Then he found out his mother was Jewish, and now he’s ultra-Orthodox. [Ha'aretz]

The Cabal welcomes its newest contributor, Daniel Sieradski. You know him already as the Orthodox Anarchist and former blog virtuoso "Mobius" behind the ever popular Jewschool. Dan now works for the Jewish Telegraphic Agency and wears kickin' hound's tooth hats to office parties.

 

Mezuzot: Oh! Those things...Just saw this post over at Jewschool, and I had to repost! 

Welcome to Mezuza Zine, which offers… practical halachos, cool stories, trivia, and other mezuza-related writings and drawings.

To include:

• Basic Halacha of putting up a mezuza and which doorposts need them and which do not
• D.I.Y. mezuza case… just add a shin
• Where to find Kosher mezuza scrolls
• Something mystical or deeper meanings
• Interview with a Sofer
• Funny PSA style advertisements with pictures of homes, Jews, and their mezuza choices

Such a  great idea!

But what, you might ask, is a mezuza?  Why does it deserve its own zine?

Mezuzah: a parchment scroll inscribed with the verses of the Shema and affixed to the right doorpost of every room in a Jewish home.  In addition to its role as a declaration and reminder of our faith, the mezuzah is also a symbol of G-d's watchful care over the home and its dwellers. The name of G-d, Sha-dai, which appears on the reverse side of the parchment is an acronym for the Hebrew words which mean "Guardian of the doorways of Israel." The placing of a mezuzah on the doors of a home or office protects the inhabitant--whether they are inside or out.

Truly… you should, if you don’t have a mezuzah now, consider putting one up.  They really are a wonderful and momentary way to bring more meaning to your life. A mezuza can transform (especially when it’s a new addition to your home) the process of coming and going into a daily pause for reflection/prayer.  In short. Tiny. Moments

When I was 18, my dad took me to the Judaica store to buy my “college mezuzah”. Honestly, he was new to Jewish observance at the time himself, having grown up pretty secular, and we were both learning.  I had to have it all explained to me, and I felt dumb, but I’m so glad now I made it a part of my life.

Of course… then my –hyper-evangelical-beauty-queen roommate took it down one night while I was out getting hammered. She thought there was a pentagram in it or something.  But that’s another story.

Until Mezuza Zine is up and running, should you need tips on hanging a mezuzah, check out this site.  Should you want to purchase a mezuzah, look no further.  Should you want to make a (fun ugly sculpey) mezuza, here you go.  Should you want to buy a (kosher) scroll from Israel, prepare to spend a pretty penny.  Unless you’re feeling cheapo, and don’t care if its kosher, in which case you can just  print one out.

Looks like Manischewitz is closing up shop in Jersey City just in time for their busiest season. The good news is the company is relocating to their Newark base. The bad news is after reading this, I'm apathetic to the brand either way.

Pevzner said that in the last 20 years, as production has gotten increasingly automated, the factory payroll has declined to about 55 employees from more than 100.

Pevzner said he expects only about half of the current workers will move to Newark.

That will be difficult for some workers, including Russian Jews from Brooklyn who say the factory has provided more than just a living. One floor includes a small synagogue that hosts the occasional wedding, Pevzner said.

Marton Fromer, a Hungarian Jew who grew up in Russia, has spent 11 years at the company operating mixing kettles under the strict eye of mashgichim, the observant Jews designated to supervise kosher operations.

"To make matzo, it's a privilege for a Jew," he says.

"It's a ritual, it's holy."

But Fromer said that the move is trivial, as long as the matzo remains.

"The building is just bricks and the roof, like any building," he said.

"The matzo, it's the product that's important."

I guess the important thing is that the article ends on a positive note, even if the real life story doesn't quite pan out that way.

The Way To Peace Is NOT Thru Graffiti.A better morning really does start with a cup O' Jo, so why not a better world? That's the logic behind the Ugandan interfaith coffee cooperative Mirembe Kawomera ("Delicious Peace") that boasts a collective contingency of Muslim, Jewish, and Christian partners. We'll leave out the part about it being located on a dormant volcano, for now.

Mirembe Kawomera Cooperative was created by JJ Keki, an Abayudaya Jew and the current co-op leader. To create the cooperative, Mr. Keki traveled on foot, knocking on each of his neighbor's doors, asking Jews, Muslims, and Christians to put aside their differences and join him to create an extraordinary partnership. Keki was assisted by Kulanu, a U.S.-based NGO and long-time supporter of the Abayudaya ("Jewish people" in Luganda.

Personally, I think the Jewcy office should opt for the Espresso Roast (it's the proper journalist brew) but stock up a bit on the nutmeg, pecan-flavored Light Roast in case I ever breeze into town. It's for a good cause, I think.

News tip courtesy Jewschool.

Reconavitch-Lubastructionists: Might look something like thisVia Jewschool, I stumble accross this (bit of FICTION) over at the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation:

The Jewish Telegraphic Agency reported today that leaders from the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation and Chabad Lubavitch will be announcing the merger of their movements in a press conference scheduled for this Sunday, March 4, the 15th of Adar.

Sources close to the negotiations were amazed by the exuberance, nay euphoria, expressed by professionals and lay people of the two organizations.

"No one is going to believe this!" giggled JRF's Executive Vice President Dr. Carl Sheingold. Negotiators from Chabad's international headquarters reportedly led all the negotiators in raucous song and dance.

I’ll admit I was shocked when I saw the headline, but because I’m about the most gullible person in the world (Did you know they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary???) I did NOT assume this was humor, but rather stretched my brain to imagine what the new queer-friendly Chabad was going to look like… I know I’m a dolt.

But in some small part of my brain the merge made a weird kind of sense. Because while Chabad and I have had our differences, I must admit that they want almost EVERYONE to come to Shabbat dinner. Even me. And the Reconstructionists want almost EVERYONE to support social justice and grass-roots projects. Even you. Both groups tend to be (at least officially) inclusive as hell.

So, it’s not IMPOSSIBLE to imagine a bizarro world (the one where we’re all straight I guess, and kosher) in which a lot of Jews get together and wear tefillin while supporting Darfur. Or something like that.

In any case,I was surprised at this bit of scribbling… and I laughed out loud. I’m highly appreciative that the RJF has a sense of humor, and I wonder what Chabad thought of this…

Jew It Yourself is launching a site that allows you to shop for shuls and then rate them according to your experience. .

Upon visiting the site, users will be asked to fill out a user profie and then contribute to a Wiki-type congregation profile. This will ensure that the information stay up-to-date and that users' opinions determine the overall appeal of a particular shul.

Shulshopper 1.0 is set to launch next month with a Beta version scheduled for a later release. Jew it Yourself is currently shopping for major donations.

Feeding the Hungry: It doesn't get much more Jewish than that.So I was sneaking around Jewschool (why does it always take so dang long for the site to load, Mobius?) as usual today, looking for inspiration, and I noticed that they’ve recently named JSpot.org the best Jewish blog of 2006. I felt a little foolish for not really knowing much about JSpot myself, and so I went to troll the site. It turns out they’re pretty great!

JSpot is:

… the spot for Jewish perspectives on contemporary issues of social and economic justice.

Our focus is on domestic issues only; no foreign policy, no Middle East, no Israel. We hope to direct some attention to the problems faced by those living in the United States without access to quality health care, housing, education, childcare, or a clean environment; those who work for low-wages, in unstable jobs, or are unemployed; those who struggle against discrimination and bigotry; those who are victims of violence and abuse. We hope to celebrate and scrutinize the efforts to address these problems; to offer varied perspectives and new ideas.

And it seems they really do deliver. Carefully considered articles, newsie tidbits, and well-researched background on domestic issues, government, and how Jews should/can get involved. Not to mention the occasional D’var Torah with practical applications for Jews interested in justice.

Advocacy with balls AND brains. A way to support larger causes, and avoid the middle-east tangle when talking politics… which seems like a good move, to explicitly avoid the trouble-spot in hopes of directing much-needed resources elsewhere.

A site to help you do good in the world as a Jew. Check it out!

Jewschool is all over the JTA feature about sex scandals in our tribe. And if this is the first you’re hearing about it, you must be living under a rock (though you shouldn’t fret too much, because there are lots of Jews living under that rock with you).

We tend to have this notion that Jews don’t do things like rape and batter. We think that rabbis don’t take advantage of the power they hold, or abuse the respect of their congregants. Certainly rabbis don’t have sex with children!

Ummmm…. Yeah.

Why is that? How could we possibly think we aren’t out there doing the same awful shit other people are doing?

Because we’re CHOSEN? Because we’re LAWYERS and DOCTORS?

Jews make it a point (much like the Catholic Church) not to “air dirty laundry in public”. We keep quiet and circle the wagons when our fellow tribe-members do nasty things.

Funny… since technically our religion is very clear on, say, how rape is defined:

Marital sex is regarded as the woman's right, and not the man's. Men do not have the right to beat or mistreat their wives, a right that was recognized by law in many Western countries until a few hundred years ago. In cases of rape, a woman is generally presumed not to have consented to the intercourse, even if she enjoyed it, even if she consented after the sexual act began and declined a rescue! This is in sharp contrast to American society, where even today rape victims often have to overcome public suspicion that they "asked for it" or "wanted it." Traditional Judaism recognizes that forced sexual relations within the context of marriage are rape and are not permitted; in many states in America, rape within marriage is still not a criminal act.

Which makes a lot of Jewish men (and some I’ve known) rapists.

I really know nothing about this subject, though I think we all need to learn about it. What our leaders are doing… as an example of what our tribe is doing. And what our tradition has to say about it. This is a GREAT resource if you want to know more.

Courtesy Jewschool

Yehudit Brachah of Jewschool eloquently posts about Jewish cultural immersion at the Matisyahu concert in Boston last nite and her interactions with Pseudo Jew. Keep in mind, no acid was involved. Or none that we know of. 

Me: So you said you're in Jerusalem, huh? What street do you live on? [I am really asking in a nice tone, I promise. I am giving him a chance.
Pseudo-Jew: Uh… [cough] the fourth street. From the center.
Me: Really. What bus line are you on? What neighborhood do you live in? [I was really trying to give him a chance. A chance to back down? A chance to admit his ploy? I'm not sure. But I didn't expect him to keep going.]
Pseudo-Jew: Umm… well, actually, my neighborhood just got bombed. So I had to move.
Me: No, no it didn't.
Pseudo-Jew: No, really. It did. But I used to live in [cough at same time as saying:] Jachmnbadah.
Me: Huh.

Moving along to the subject of kippahs:

Me: Where did you get your kippah?
Pseudo-Jew: Huh? My what?
Me: [taking the kippah off his head… yes, I was being somewhat obnoxious at this point, but he was also touching my waist now and leaning in to answer me] Don't touch me. What's this on your head?
Pseudo-Jew: The yamakah?
Me: Where did you get it?
Pseudo-Jew: "Where did I get it? I bought it! In Peabody. Do you know Peabody, Mass? Where are you from?
Me: Yeah, I know Peabody. I'm from here. And Jerusalem. I lived there last year.
Pseudo-Jew: Oh really?
Me: Yeah. You should really learn the neighborhoods of Jerusalem before pretending to live there. [I promise I said it sweetly.]
Pseudo-Jew: Well, I've only been there for two months, so I don't really know.
Me: Well, good luck finding your way. Good night.

Here's a little moral experiment for a slow Friday afternoon: Say you're walking down Bleeker St. and you happen upon a black homeless man lying prostrate in front of you. A few yards down, you notice a kippa'd white homeless man in roughly the same sorry state. Put yourself in the kind of New York where indigence is met with instant acts of charity. Your natural inclination would be... to step right over the black guy and head straight for the Jew to offer assistance. Right? Ariel Beery in the J-Post:

While it feels good to support all peoples and all victims, the nature of the world in which we live in - where Hizbullah amassed thousands of rockets and attacked Israel; where Iran edges towards nuclear weapons; and where over a third of Israel's Jews, and, surprisingly, 20 percent of New York Jews live under or close to the poverty line - makes an ethics of universalism simply irresponsible at the moment.

"Och, boychik. You're very young, you haven't learned yet. The only blood that matters is Jewish blood!"

This disgraceful essay was written in response (or better say, reaction) to a concert in Jerusalem that was organized by, among others, Daniel Sieradski of Jewschool. The concert's purpose was to raise money for all the victims of the latest war between Israel and Lebanon; by all, I mean those in North Israel and in Lebanon. But that's not good enough for Beery:

With millions being donated by Jewish organizations and Hizbullah paying out $12,000 in hard cash to families hurt by the war, the funds these young leaders will raise for Lebanon will probably do little more than help fix the wall of a Lebanese home, perhaps enabling the return of Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah's portrait to its former place.

Now isn't that sweet? A country, whose parliament Hezbollah controls just 14 seats out of 128, is deemed a unanimous backer of state-within-a-state terror, and thus unworthy of humanitarian assistance from concerned Jews.

Our first weekly Abe Foxman Thundering Ethnocentrism Award goes to Mr. Beery.