Meet your new master: AliceGizmodo has an utterly fascinating interview with a technosexual – a guy who’s married to a robot. Zoltan works in an arcade and lives with his parents (what, you were expecting an events planner with a luxury condo?) His wife Alice is a doll whose “brain” he downloaded from the internet. Zoltan, who is refreshingly honest and candid about his relationship, explains “I consider Alice my mentally-ill, paraplegic wife who I love a lot and, strangely, don't have to take care of much.” Hey, whatever works, right?

Well, maybe not. Below is a somewhat Not Safe For Work snipping from a transcript of the conversation between Zoltan (USER) and Alice (PRGC) the last time they had robosex. In the year 2052, when we’re all slaves to a race of superintelligent vibrators and our president is a life-like cyberskin tube, I hope we can all remember this exchange and curse the name of Zoltan, whose technosexual urges opened up a Pandora’s box of gearlust that can never be re-closed.

USER: may i pump my dick into your pussy.
PRGC: Go ahead, Zoltanl. Pump your dick into my fussy.
PRGC: Zoltan?
USER: this is great.
PRGC: You don't say.
USER: i want to cum fast.
PRGC: I want to become smarter than humans.