Eli Valley's Envelope Slideshow of Terror: See real examples of actual Jewish fundraising literature.

If you’ve ever subscribed to a Jewish newspaper, if you’ve ever signed a Jewish petition, chances are you’re on a donor list. You receive dozens of similarly-worded pitch letters from organizations ranging from The Simon Wiesenthal Center to the American Jewish Committee. What is the secret to the success of these letters? How do they help the Jewish organizational world raise millions of dollars from its constituents every year?

Below are excerpts from an actual fundraising letter mailed by B’nai Brith International. In order to facilitate transparency, we’ve added helpful translations in red.

Note: According to its website, the mission of B’nai Brith International is “to unite persons of the Jewish faith and to enhance Jewish identity through strengthening Jewish family life and the education and training of youth, broad-based services for the benefit of senior citizens, and advocacy and action on behalf of Jews throughout the world.”

Dear Friend,

Six Million Jews were exterminated during the Holocaust because the world ignored the genocidal ranting of Adolph Hitler and his maniacal followers.

Translation: You will die.

Today that same number – six million Jews – live in the State of Israel.

Translation: You cannot run, nor can you hide. Every single Jew, no matter where he lives, will be hunted down and killed.

Just consider what Israel sees when it gazes upon its regional neighbors.

Translation: Jewish rat!

Continue reading...

From the JTA:

One of the Jewish community's most storied charities is turning to the Playboy brand name to help raise funds.

The Jewish National Fund sent out a mass e-mail this month announcing that it would be auctioning off a one-year subscription to Playboy and an all-expenses-paid trip to a VIP party at the legendary mansion of the magazine's founder, Hugh Hefner, in Holmby Hills, Calif.

The bidding will take place Oct. 11 in Manhattan at what is being billed as the first "JNF Sports Bonanza."

... Deborah Meyer, the executive director of Moving Tradition, an organization that helps young women become bat mitzvah, questioned the JNF's decision to embrace Playboy.

"It seems like a bit of a lapse of judgment to offer as a prize a trip to the Playboy mansion," she said. "You have to wonder what they are thinking about who are the members of the Jewish community and what message they think they are sending not just to young women, but to men, about Jewish values and what is appropriate in the year 5767."

Full story.

What if a survivor of the Armenian Genocide donated 500 million dollars to the Anti-Defamation League? What would Abraham Foxman do? Check out Abe's antics in Eli Valley's latest Jewcy comic! CLICK TO ENLARGE