Eli Valley's Envelope Slideshow of Terror: See real examples of actual Jewish fundraising literature.

If you’ve ever subscribed to a Jewish newspaper, if you’ve ever signed a Jewish petition, chances are you’re on a donor list. You receive dozens of similarly-worded pitch letters from organizations ranging from The Simon Wiesenthal Center to the American Jewish Committee. What is the secret to the success of these letters? How do they help the Jewish organizational world raise millions of dollars from its constituents every year?

Below are excerpts from an actual fundraising letter mailed by B’nai Brith International. In order to facilitate transparency, we’ve added helpful translations in red.

Note: According to its website, the mission of B’nai Brith International is “to unite persons of the Jewish faith and to enhance Jewish identity through strengthening Jewish family life and the education and training of youth, broad-based services for the benefit of senior citizens, and advocacy and action on behalf of Jews throughout the world.”

Dear Friend,

Six Million Jews were exterminated during the Holocaust because the world ignored the genocidal ranting of Adolph Hitler and his maniacal followers.

Translation: You will die.

Today that same number – six million Jews – live in the State of Israel.

Translation: You cannot run, nor can you hide. Every single Jew, no matter where he lives, will be hunted down and killed.

Just consider what Israel sees when it gazes upon its regional neighbors.

Translation: Jewish rat!

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A few weeks ago Jewcy broke the story that a viral e-mail, directed at Jewish voters, accused "bigot" Sen. Barack Obama of "hating" Jews and sympathizing with the Nation of Islam. Many prominent Jewish leaders condemned this slander, but some readers might remain convinced. Eli Valley takes their hysteria to the next level.

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Jewcy’s comic artist turns his gimlet eye away from the Jewish people and towards their detractors.

As Britian’s former European minister noted in The Washington Post this fall, antisemitism is on the rise in the UK. Jews are four times more likely than Muslims to be attacked because of their religion, according to a widely circulated article in City Journal, and hate crimes against Jews have doubled since 2001.

Below, Eli Valley imagines what happens when this trend hits the schools.

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Is Eli Valley the Bruce Lee of Jew comics? Yes. Yes, he is. Eli Valley is the Bruce Lee of Jew comics.