Dr. Ruth

Daniel Koffler recently wrote a couple of posts on this blog regarding the pseudo-debate on "racial IQ." (Here's whyit's pseudo-.) I can't say that the many comments in response to hispost have made me feel any easier about the vulgarization of science.Of course, society doesn't need most people to understand evolution (orany other scientific fact) very well or indeed at all to function -atleast, to function as it does now. I believe that we're indeed headedtowards a society where most people won't have even a very basicscientific literacy -take evolution, for example. While most of ourtop-notch researchers have more important things to do than educate themasses, the other side, fiercely representedin the popular media, has plenty of communicators whose entire time canbe devoted to finding more persuasive ways to convince the generalpublic of the untruth, since they don't need to waste any preciousmoment in doing, well, research.

But I cannot remain silent on some of the responses Daniel's post received. For I feel some of our readers' suffering,and I want to reassure them. To those of you who have made the highlyscientific and statistically accurate discovery from their passage inthe male changing rooms of the gym that "black people's pee-pees arelarger," and who thus had to deduce that this enlargement of the penileregion of the Black male necessitated, nay, demanded a compensation inthe same quantitative terms of their own (i.e., the small-dicked whiteman's) intelligence, here's a beacon of hope in your penis-pump filled night: Jewcy's fave Dr Ruth reassures you on the relative importance of your manhood's size and offers this important piece of advicefor all you out there who think Blacks are genetically determined to bestupid and have a big dick: "stop blaming your penis, and startsocializing and meeting young ladies."

Now I hope that you will see that, for metered intelligence or dick, it's not how much you have, it's how well you use it.

Come on, you know what this guy's thinking: A meydl of the perfect height I am going to ask Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the legendary 79-year-old sex therapist who stands no taller than Frodo Baggins or Yoda the Muppet (four feet, seven inches), if she is the perfect Blowjob Height.

Before I harass the near-octogenarian about whether she can perform oral sex while standing, however, I listen to her November 7 speech at the Museum of the City of New York on the Jewish Daily Forward's "Bintel Brief" column. Forward Web editor Daniel Treiman explains in his introduction that the Brief was the first newspaper advice column, started in 1906 to address the questions of the immigrant Jewish community. Typical questions included how to get a get (Jewish divorce decree), how religious spouses could share a home with nonreligious spouses, and sometimes whether others in the community would adopt babies that poorer families could not support.

The Brief was the Craig's List of its day, and illiterate Jews would often pay professionals to write letters for them. The Forward revived the column as the "Bintel Brief Blog" this year, with Dr. Ruth as the inaugural poster. Yes, Dr. Ruth is Jewish-her parents were "killed by the Nazis" and then she fought in the Israeli war of independence as a sharpshooter. "I was a sniper," she tells the audience. "Watch out!"

When the Forward announced Dr. Ruth's guest blogging, "There were so many comments of delight and excitement, itching to hear what she has to say," Treiman says. (When I think of GILFy Dr. Ruth, I feel delighted, excited and itchy too.)

Dr. Ruth says that the Brief paved the way for American advice columnists and celebrity therapists. "Bintel Brief replaced uncles and aunts and grandparents who would have given that advice," she says in her thick, luscious German accent. "People like myself couldn't do these comments-on TV, on radio-if not for our ‘grandparents.'" The Brief writers were "not trained psychologists, not trained social workers," but "trusted friends" who doled out wisdom to "poor Jews, not educated, like we see on Fiddler on the Roof, whose primary goal was to survive."

She believes that modern society is lacking the kind of community that the Brief fostered.

"With Bintel Brief, people didn't feel alone," Dr. Ruth says. "I see the danger [today] because we don't live anymore like people on the Lower East Side. People don't know their neighbors or talk to others on the subway. But don't start a sexual relationship on the subway! Please, at home!"

After her speech, the audience asks questions. She acknowledges the "tremendous issue of intermarriage," but dismisses it because when young Jews go to college, "We shouldn't be so surprised that they meet other people." Orthodoxy can be an aphrodisiac because waiting a week after menstruation to have sex "can mean a fantastic sexual experience after." Even some Hasidim come to her for advice because "[i]n the Jewish tradition we should not spill the seed in vain, so there are ways to discuss premature ejaculation," Dr. Ruth says with a laugh. "The sages in the Jewish tradition, sex was not considered a sin-it was considered a mitzvah. That permits someone like me to speak about orgasm and erection." (Oh, you naughty girl.)

I want to ask my question-about Dr. Ruth's physical stature-but I chicken out during the Q&A. She races out of the room like a munchkin on PCP to get to another event, but I follow her outside to her car. I haven't shaved in a week, and I look (and feel) incredibly creepy stalking her like this. But I must know.

"Dr. Ruth," I say, "I've always wanted to ask you something. A short woman and a tall man, when she's--"

"It's OK," Dr. Ruth says without any hesitation, clearly answering the question for the billionth time. She ducks into her sedan and vanishes into the Manhattan night.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” The Song of Solomon makes it sound so simple—hot, even. But as Jewcy’s sex and dating coverage has amply proven over the past six months, love is never that straightforward. For some of us, it’s more like “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is about to dump me for being an American imperialist pig.” Or “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is Lexapro.” Or “I am my beloved’s and my beloved’s is mine, but we aren’t going to touch until our non-halachic gay marriage.” Below, some select articles, personal essays and blog posts in which our authors agonize about everyone's favorite four-letter word.

I get a weekly email from the Forward, which I do not open unless I am somehow enticed or titillated by the subject line. Today's looked like this:

Al Jazeera's Jews * Zion's Mafia * Dr. Ruth's Advice

Hmm, I thought to myself. Is that all one topic?

No, it was actually three separate issues, but I couldn't help but appreciate the unlikely pairing of the three, all of which were actually interesting.

I learned three things, each more provocative than the next:

1.) Al Jazeera apparently has "no problem with Jews." And it seems that several top employees at the network's English operation are Jewish.

Some participants at the third-annual forum of the Arab satellite network Al Jazeera were sorry they didn’t bring matzo with them — had they known how many fellow Jews were attending the media conference, they would have made a Passover Seder.

That would've been interesting to see on Al Jazeera.

Al Jazeera has been harshly criticized in the West for providing airtime to terrorists like Osama bin Laden, but it notes that American networks borrowed that material. It was also the first Arabic network to give Israelis air time. “Al Jazeera was seriously attacked by Arabs — Islamist, nationalist, and even governments like Saudi Arabia — for inviting Israeli journalists and government officials to present their point of view,” Atwan said.

Oh, okay. I'm convinced.

2.) According to a new book called Blood and Volume: Inside New York's Israeli Mafia, you can be a "gangster with a soul." And, of his girlfriend, Honey Tesman, the Brandeis-educated daughter of a successful Long Island laundry-plant owner, Israeli mafioso Ron Gonen says:

“She’s my disco Jewish queen . . . Smart like a wiz, gorgeous, speaks beautiful Hebrew, and she’s a fighter — it’s what I love about her.”

I want to be someone's disco Jewish queen when I grow up.You Will Be My Jewish Disco Queen!: Former drug dealer Ron Gonen pushes his weight around.

3.) Dr. Ruth can provide more than just sex tips. The Forward is bringing back its Bintel Brief column:

Started in 1906 by the Forward’s legendary editor Abraham Cahan, the Bintel Brief — literally “a Bundle of Letters” — dispensed advice on life, love, family, faith, work and why, contrary to popular superstition, having a spouse with a dimpled chin won’t lead you to an early grave.

And to kick it all off, they're bringing in Dr. Ruth, who has been spending less of her time teaching women how to perform oral sex, and more of it teaching a class at Princeton University on the Jewish family. I can't wait to read the Bintel Brief in the Forward -- I'm so excited!