"Religious hate has never been so much fun,” promises the tagline of the online video game Faith Fighter. A prominent release by Molleindustria—an Italian game development studio that specializes in bizarre, arthouse Flash web games—Faith Fighter is one of a handful of religiously motivated games on the Internet. Are these games effective? What are they even trying to do? We asked Craig, Jewcy's Technology Officer and resident gamer, to weigh in.

To answer this question, Craig experienced everything from Faith Fighter's non-denominational, one-on-one, beat 'em up appeal to Eternal Forces' Christian evangelism to the hysterically fanatical Jihadi simulator Night of Bush Capturing. Generally speaking, he was unimpressed.

"Is game development for holy rollers just too hard," he wondered, "or are they just not trying hard enough?"

Here are his reviews:

	Name: Faith Fighter Overview: A fighting game in the style of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, where representatives from all the major religions battle it out for superiority. Case for: This game includes both God and Jesus, Buddha and Budai, Ganesha, and Muhammed Comes with a censored version where Muhammed's likeness is blocked out Last boss is Xenu You can see Budai's nipples Case against: It might be a complete ripoff of the next game You can see Jesus' nipples.
I was totally excited about this game when I first saw it. "Choose your belief and kick the shit out of your enemies," the game advertises. Finally, pacifist Buddhism gets a chance to go toe-to-toe with the heavy-hitters. And with two representatives, how can they lose? I Like to Play as Buddha: Because he's blue and because I don't think it will offend anyone.Easy: in this game, no one wins. I don't mean that literally, of course—I don't doubt that any of the Jewcy staffers could sail through this on the "Normal" difficulty setting—but for a game that purports to help players consider how religious representations can be used to fuel conflict, there is little opportunity for actual reflection. No parallels are ever drawn between what's happening in the game's battles and the real world, and, in the end, even the characters' special powers have precious little to do with actual religious lore. Why does God immolate himself in a pillar of flame? Why can Mohammed turn invisible? I like the quirky, hand-drawn graphics, but aside from that, there's not much going for this game aside from shock appeal.
Jewcy's Final Word is: SUCKS.

	Name: Bible Fight Overview: This is a higher-budget version of Faith Fighter, centered solely on characters from the Old and New Testaments, paid for by Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Case for: Satan makes an appearance The Virgin Mary carries around a little Baby Jesus even when fighting non-Baby Jesus Eve is naked Animation is fantastic Case against: We've seen this game before The last levels get really hard
This game looks and plays almost exactly like Faith Fighter, except it's much more polished. While I respect that, unfortunately...
Jewcy's Final Word is: STILL SUCKS.

	Name: Ethnic Cleansing Overview: A racist, anti-semitic, Doom-style 3D first-person shooter where you play a Neo-Nazi as you "run through the ghetto blasting away various blacks and spics" until you "can blow away Jews as they scream 'Oy vey!'" Case for: Finally - a game that's actually about politics! The strongest example yet of the ineptitude of white supremacists Case against: Ass ugly Control feels sluggish, like you're wading hip-deep through the septic tank behind Ma and Pa's old house back in Arkansas
The Ammo Boxes Read "Ammo": This game sucks. Ethnic Cleansing may be the greatest thing working against the modern white nationalist movement. A small, personal project by two, let's say, independent game developers (the critically acclaimed "D. Bryan Ringer" and "Bob Hawthorne"). This game couldn't suck more if the developers were wearing bags over their heads (as opposed to sheets, I guess). In a thread on neo-Nazi organization Stormfront's website, users rank the game "1.5 out of 5", described it as "not the greatest quality in the world," and said, simply: "The game sucks." (The thread peters off a few posts in when one user admits that he'll never buy the game because he'd have to pay with credit cards and, personally, he "objects the use of credit cards and therefor [sic] don't own one." There are only a few enemy models in this game, and they mostly consist of black guys with Afros wearing basketball jerseys with the word "NIGZ" or pictures of cannabis plants on the front. There are Mexicans dressed in ponchos and sombreros, and strange, AK-47 wielding Hasidim that live in the subway. Ho-hum. The only thing remotely clever about this game is that it promises "Real Negro sounds," which wind up being the sounds of screeching monkeys. Very crafty, Bob Hawthorne.
Jewcy's Final Word is: SUCKS.

	Name: The Zoo Race Game Overview: "Animals" from "Noah's Ark" race, and every now and then, an electronically-lowered voice booms a famous passage from the bible. When it's all done, the animals return to the ark for an interactive disco. I'm not joking. Case for: The premise makes perfect sense A pig wearing a top hat drives a train Case against: Playing for extended periods of time will produce an effect roughly similar to blending up one of those books of Psalms that the Gideons hand out near schools and drinking it, straight out of the Magic Bullet.
What do you get when you cross a working knowledge of a single bible story, a handful Avoid the Obstacles: Obstacles may include explosive barrels, piranhas, and Michelangelo's artwork. of stock 3D animal graphics and a sixth-grade education? I dunno, but who gives a shit? We're playing The Zoo Race Game! I really gotta hand it to developer Cougar Interactive. They're (He is?) legitimately the most batshit crazy game makers out there. And I just finished playing a game where you must fight wave after wave of black people on city streets in order to assassinate Ariel Sharon. Like so many other purportedly "religious" games, Zoo Race simply slaps a coat of Jesus-paint on a secular-themed game (in this case, "racing") and hopes that that's enough to make the sales. It's not. Although the craftsmanship in The Zoo Race Game is noticeably higher than, say, Ethnic Cleansing, the animation remains abysmal, the execution and control are shoddy and lack finesse, and the premise is mind-bogglingly ridiculous. In order to truly appreciate The Zoo Race Game, you need to watch its promotional movie. Trust me on this and watch, okay?
Jewcy's Final Word is: MINDBOGGLINGLY SUCKY.

	Name: Night of Bush Capturing Overview: You play an Islamic insurgent, running through a desert curiously plastered with images of Bush, Tony Blair, Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, and Hassan Nasrallah, in hopes of stumbling upon Bush so you can shoot him. Case for: Reports call this a "terrorist training simulator." If this is what terrorists are being trained with, they don't stand a chance Jihadist music in the background is pretty catchy and has a Brian Wilson-like harmony to it "Night of Bush Capturing" is a hilarious name for a game Case against: Boring Lacks a certain "realism" Bush is too short
It's a relief to get back into the realm of hate-based games, but I really don't feel that much hate here. Aside from the neat chanting that blares throughout this game, there's really very little reason to play. Every weapon at your disposal is exactly like every other weapon (except the grenade launcher, which is unique in that it doesn't do anything at all). Your avatar has a Super Mario-esque ability to jump three times his own height. The story claims you're a Mujahid traveling around a U.S. Special Forces' camp (that Bush is inexplicably hanging around in), but it seems more like you're at some bizarre Coalition-themed Disney World in Tikrit. We've seen this all before and it sucks now just as much as it sucked then. What's really disturbing is the amount of outrage that has been directed at this game since its release. It's not a threat to anybody, and it's not even that fun to play.
Jewcy's Final Word is: سيء (SUCKS).

	Name: Left Behind: Tribulation Forces Overview: Based on the Left Behind series of novels and movies, you must lead a force of evangelical Christians to defeat the antichrist so Jesus can return. The premise is that after the rapture occurred, for some reason a bunch of good people were left behind with a bunch of lousy people. The lousy people formed a "Peacekeeping Coalition" under the guidance of a new world ruler. I forget his name, but let's call him, "Lucifer AnthonyChrist McDevilton." Shooting neutral members of the population is discouraged. Case for: Being that this game is based on a popular franchise, the developers could afford to hire people with the normal number of fingers and toes The game world and mechanics is vast The premise is unique and engaging Literally every character in the game has a back story written for him or her Case against: The back stories, along with most everything else in this game, are creepy as hell Women can't do anything I kind of want to keep playing it
Taylor Malone Prays: As in real life, your Christian zealots gradually lose faith over time and must be forced to 'Pray,' lest they revert back to heathenism and have to be taken out back, Old Yeller style.I'm going to tell you straight up: this game doesn't totally suck. You don't know what a relief it is to finally say that. Unfortunately, this game is one of the most disturbingly creepy, "Praise Jesus" experiences I've ever been forced to endure. Your task is to lead the good holy people of New York in banding together, buying up all the Duane Reades and abandoned factories, and converting or murdering all the non-believers. Well, you're really only supposed to murder the guys who are hostile to you. But God understands, right? I gotta give the developers credit, though. The game has a full (albeit derivative) 3D New York City, with tons of random people in the streets. It's neat that the game lets you click on any individual character and hear about his life's history (and, if applicable, how he or she found Jesus), but some of the stories started to disturb me. One "bad guy," the game claims, used to work as a TV News Producer during the time that the Moon Landing was staged. How enlightening! In all seriousness, though, this game is really not that bad. It does what every other one of these games could've done: created an engaging storyline that is centered around religion (but not entirely beholden to it), with production values that don't distract from the gameplay. Now if only it wasn't so creepy...
Jewcy's Final Word is: DOESN'T SUCK THAT MUCH.

Daniel Radosh, author of the new book Rapture Ready! Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture, interviews friend and fellow Jew writer A.J. Jacobs, contributing editor at Esquire, on his year-long road trip (or rather, home-trip) through the Old Testament, documented in The Year of Living Biblically. A.J. will be giving an in-depth talk on his experiences at the 92nd Street Y on April 1.

The facial hair of our forefathers: Jacobs with Biblical beardYou followed the Bible literally for an entire year. If you had to do it again for one month, which month would you choose and why?

Can I make my own month? And choose to do 31 Saturdays in a row? Is that allowed? The Sabbath was one of the most life-altering parts of my year. As a workaholic, the line between weekend and weekday didn’t exist for me. But here was a mandated day of rest and joy, a "sanctuary in time," as Rabbi Heschel called it. When I first tried Shabbat, I got the shakes, but by the end of the year, I had come to love the ritual.

You came out of your experiment with a deeper sense of transcendence and sacredness in life. Have you been able to maintain that now that you are no longer doing your biblical study and practice?

To some extent, yes. I started the year as an agnostic and I ended the year as what a minister friend of mine calls a ‘reverent agnostic.’ Which is a phrase I love, however oxymoronic it may seem. Whether or not there’s a God, I believe in the idea of sacredness, and that rituals or the Sabbath or prayer can be sacred. I still observe the Sabbath – in the sense that I try not to email or make phone calls or write on Saturdays. I still pray, even though I’m not sure what I'm praying to. And I try to maintain a sense of wonderment, which is something I gained in my biblical year (I also gained it sophomore year of high school after a night with an apple bong, but the feeling from my biblical year was more lasting).

For your previous book, The Know-It-All, you read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. Which contains more wisdom, the encyclopedia or the Bible?

That's a hard call. If forced, I'd say the Britannica, since it has huge sections about the Bible. So you kind of get a two-for-one deal. You get biblical wisdom, plus wisdom from modern thinkers like Horace Mann ("Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.") and Ian Fleming, author of the great philosophical work Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. ("Never say 'no' to adventures. Always say yes otherwise you'll lead a very dull life.")

You found that following biblical rules dovetailed with your tendency toward obsessive compulsive disorder. If somebody who doesn't have OCD did the same experiment, would they end up with it?

I think you have to be a little obsessive to do the experiment in the first place. So the question is probably unanswerable. It was fascinating, though, to see the overlap between OCD and religious rituals – an overlap Freud talked about. I actually found it comforting. Why should I come up with my own idiosyncratic rituals, when the Bible has ones that my ancestors have practiced for thousands of years?

The good book: The Year of Living BiblicallyIf you could pick three biblical rules to teach your children, what would they be?

Aside from honor your parents, which seems the go-to answer, I’d say these three:

1. Be thankful. That was one of the big lessons of the year. I was saying all these prayers of thanksgiving, and they really started to sink in. I started to shift my perspective. I found myself being thankful for the 100 things that go right every day as opposed to focusing on the three or four that went wrong.
2. No gossiping. It sounds like a minor thing, but it wasn't. I found that the less I gossiped, the fewer petty thoughts I generated, which caused a decrease in jealousy which led to greater happiness. So for selfish reasons alone, it's a good rule. And of course.
3. Do not marry your wife's sister while your wife is still alive (Leviticus 18:18).

Who would you rather have running the country, someone who believes the Bible is the literal word of God, or someone who doesn't think it's important at all?

Neither sounds appealing. Biblical literalism is filled with dangers, as I discovered through my year. (We both visited the Creation Museum in Kentucky, which seems a three-dimensional example of biblical literalism gone awry). But if you don't think the Bible is important, then you are a stiff-necked fool, as the Bible would say. Whether or not you believe in its historical or theological truth, the Bible is hugely important for sociological, ethical and literary reasons alone.

Sam Harris says it would be easy to come up with principles that are more ethical than those taught in the Bible? Do you agree?

More ethical than Deuteronomy 25:11? Well, yes, maybe. (In case you forgot, that one says that if two men are fighting, and the wife of one of the men reaches out and grabs the private parts of the other man, then her hand shall be cut off.) But more ethical than "Love thy neighbor as thyself" or "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you?" I'm not so sure. I couldn't come up with anything better than that. What I'm saying is the Bible is not monolithic. Some parts are incredibly compassionate; others are better applied to an ancient tribal society. Also, of course, there's the difference between the ethics of the Bible and the ethics of rabbinical tradition.

Which rituals do you miss the most?

I've gotten lax with the dietary laws. I still don't eat pork or shellfish (and I also studiously avoid eagles, ospreys and hawks, as the Bible commands), but I've let a lot of the other rules go. And I do miss it a bit. When you are strict with what goes into your mouth, you gain a sense of mindfulness about the act of eating.

In your blurb for my new book, Rapture Ready! Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture, you said, "Daniel Radosh writes about evangelical culture with brilliance, humor, and understanding." Can you elaborate on that?

Yes, this Radosh guy has written a really good book. But I still mourn the loss of the chapter on Christian mimes. I hope you’re considering using it in the sequel.

Previously:
Jacobs Introduces His Guest-Blogging Stint
No Mixed Fibers
Indulging Creationism
Midweek Shabbat 
Throwing Rocks at Old People