This kid should've won the Bronfman Big Idea prize.

My son, now you are a man: The WiiWelcome to Mommyblogging Dearest, your guide to Jewish parenting online -- hipster and otherwise.

What thirteen-year-olds want: Eternal popularity, to be left alone, and the Nintendo Wii. What you should get them for their B’Nai Mitzvot, however, is anybody’s guess. This is that rare parenting issue that’s totally relevant to non-parents as well: People with teenage children definitely get invited to more Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but anyone with Jewish relatives eventually winds up in Barnes and Noble the night before a big event, wondering if The Catcher in the Rye is a horribly pedantic thing to give a budding adolescent.

This is, of course, why gift certificates exist, but how much should you give? Over in the forums section of Modern Jewish Mom, posters seem torn between $36 and $200. The latter, of course, has the advantage of being twice 18, which is a lucky number in Jewish superstition. Then again, $200 has the advantage of being 2/3 of the price of a Wii.

B’Nai Mitzvot always wind up being a disturbing mix of consumerism and tradition, so perhaps it’s not a surprise that elsewhere in the same forum is a heartfelt plea from a mom whose child has announced that she’s not interested in studying for her Bat Mitzvah and she doesn’t care about Judaism. It’s an old question, but also an eternal one. Shouldn’t the ritual mean something to the kid?

I went to my first Orthodox bar mitzvah last weekend. It was my first Orthodox anything, come to think of it. While I didn’t pay much attention in temple (since the women and men sit separately and I didn’t have Fiance--a more religious Jew than I--beside me to explain what was going on), I paid great attention to the food.

I seldom keep Kosher, so I didn't have high hopes for the Kosher meal ahead. But as it turns out, Kosher food isn’t so bad! Everything served was actually pretty good. Especially the desserts, which I’ll get to in a later post.

Friday night was Shabbat (or Shabbos) dinner, and we started with pea soup. When it arrived, I gingerly dipped into the slimy green substance and braced myself for the worst. I was confused and pleasantly surprised when it tasted delicious. Quite possibly the best pea soup I’ve ever had, smooth and spiked with chives and mint. Fiance and I looked at each other to confirm: “There’s definitely cream in this.” Since Kosher laws restrict serving meat and milk in the same meal, we anticipated a main course of fish.

You can imagine my surprise when, after a yummy, thoughtfully arranged iceberg lettuce salad garnished with pecans and cranberries, this stuffed chicken breast came out as the main course:

Kosher stuffed Chicken

Fiance and I raised our eyebrows at each other and I immediately sought out the chef to ask what was in the pea soup. Non-dairy creamer, he told me. Genius! This trick will certainly come in handy when my Kosher conscience nags around the holidays or a more pious mood strikes Fiance around dinnertime. Non-dairy creamer just may change my life.

Even better? This recipe couldn't be easier.

I know there are a lot of Jewcers who had standard bar and bat mitzvahs, standing on the bima with the rabbi, saying a few blessings, making a speech about becoming an adult, and then sweating through a snowball on the dance floor while the adults drank too much and ate eggplant parmagiana.

But if you weren’t part of the club getting Israel bonds and jewelry boxes/fountain pens in middle school, don’t think your chance is gone. My Bubbe had a bat mitzvah in her seventies (and everyone in my family sobbed through the entire ceremony. We’re softies). Many reform Temples now run programs for senior citizens who didn’t have a ceremony when they were younger, and have come to Judaism later in life. And you don’t have to be a senior citizen. If you’re 24 you don’t have to write it off. Know, first, that though we usually say that someone HAD a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, that is grammatically incorrect. You BECOME a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, which is to say, you become a son or daughter of the commandments. You’re just accepting the commandments upon yourself. Technically, even if you don’t have a ceremony of any kind, you still become one. But wanting to mark the occasion is totally reasonable, and you should feel free to ask your rabbi to help you prepare.
Bat Mitzvah in Your Forties: No reason not to
Think it’ll be too hard to learn a Torah portion? Don’t sweat it. You can usually get by with just an aliyah, a short blessing you can easily get transliterated into Hebrew.

Still feeling intimidated? Check out this article from the Chicago Tribune about a woman having her Bat Mitzvah 35 years late.

Bat mitzvah a journey of persistence, courage

Sue Saltsberg mimics her tutor's hand movements, gathering in the warmth and light of the Shabbat candles, the onset of Sabbath and its promise of rest.

But rest has never come easily to Saltsberg, an Arlington Heights woman with developmental delays. It seems she has been trying to prove herself since the day she was born, when doctors predicted the premature infant probably would die within 30 days.
Now, at 47, she is preparing for the bat mitzvah ceremony that eluded her when she was 13.

Saltsberg's dream begins and ends at a Hoffman Estates temple, Beth Tikvah Congregation, which means "House of Hope" in Hebrew. It was Saltsberg's first temple as a child and the one she returned to in pursuit of her goal.

Each week, for 15 months, she and tutor Russell Vincent have practiced prayers and rituals for the Jewish rite of passage to adulthood she will celebrate Friday night.

You can do it, too!

Mazel Tov Sam Modiano77-year-old Holocaust survivor Samuel Modiano celebrated his Bar Mitzvah on Monday at a synagague in Rome, where he now lives.

At 13, Modiano was a prisoner at Auschwitz and even after he emigrated to the Congo, he wasn't able to receive a proper Bar Mitzvah due to civil unrest and lack of a cohesive Jewish community.

Redemption was to be had, however, as hundreds of members of Modiano's temple in Rome joined him in a very emotional ceremony.

Said the Chief Rabbi of Rome:

This is a wonderful example of the Jewish tradition beating in the heart of every Jewish person. The most touching moment was when Samuel exposed his arm to wrap the tefilin around it and uncovered the number tattoo.