Kevin Powell: say what now? This week’s “D’oh!” moment comes courtesy of former Real World star and straight- outta-Brooklyn’s-10^th-Congressional-District US House of Representatives hopeful, Kevin Powell. The New York Post reports that while at a meet and greet dinner in Williamsburg, Powell promised a room full of Orthodox Jews that, if elected, he would “bring home the bacon.” Smooth.

We're guessing that of all the things Powell could have promised to bring home to those forty representatives from the Satmar community in attendance, "the bacon" was probably the last thing on their wish list. When the story’s original reporters, The Brooklyn Paper, asked Powell if he understood the implications of his metaphor in light of this particular audience, he replied, “I am definitely aware of their Kosher diet. It was an inside joke, as I’ve become very comfortable with this community.” The Brooklyn Paper did not specify whether or not Powell’s statement was followed up by his tugging at his collar, wiping his brow, and coughing loudly.

Clap if You Believe: Everytime a bacon joke gets made in front of the Hassidic, a bacon angel gets its wingsSo, because Jewcy cannot just let a tremendous opportunity like this pass us by, we offer a few kosher-friendly alternatives for Powell to consider next time:

• I promise to bring home the brisket.
• I promise to bring home the kreplach.
• I promise to bring home the bagels. (As long as there are no shmear campaigns.)

On the other hand, here's our “Is this thing on?” list for Powell to avoid at all costs:

• Now, I know what you’re thinking: this guy looks about as out of place in this room as a doughnut on Passover!
• Geez, I feel as nervous as a Bar Mitzvah boy before his haftarah up here!
• Any budget cuts I make will be absolutely necessary. All the mohels in the house know what I’m talking about!

Can you think of any more? Leave your suggestions in the comments section.

We don't have any actual commentary here. It just seemed like something the Jewish community should know about. [Via Jezebel]

 

An observant friend of mine celebrates Purim every year with a ‘trayf night -” the one night a year he willingly – even actively – eats non-kosher food. Purim, he figures, is all about shaking things up and turning daily realities upside down (well, that and getting wasted). What better night to indulge in all the delicious trayf foods he abstains from the rest of the year?

Whether you’re a total trayf abstainer, an occasional trayfer, or an everyday trayf eater – here is a list of the unkosher foods that Jews love to hate.

Shrimp Cocktail – Shrimp started the Reform movement – no really! According to Wikipedia, “On July 11, 1883, a dinner was held in Cincinnati celebrating the ordination of the Reform Jewish seminary's first class of rabbis. It was a sumptuous feast of Little Neck clams on the half shell, soft-shell crab and shrimp salad, along with beef fillet and ice cream. The meal quickly gained notoriety for abrogating every rule of kashrut, the Jewish dietary laws, except the prohibition against pork.” Judaism never tasted so good!

Bacon Cheeseburger – What other food offers not one, but three different opportunities (milk and meat, unkosher beef, and sweet, sweet bacon) to trayf it up in one, delicious bite? All the melty, porky goodness…the thought even makes this vegetarian a little weak in the knees.

 

 

Lobster – Remember that beautiful blond girl who sat in your English Lit class at Princeton? You know the one. She ate lobster – she ate it on beautiful china at the family country club, delicately cracking open the claws and dipping the meat in a rich buttery sauce? Keep dreaming yid kids - lobster may be fancy and sophisticated, but it’s trayfer than the day is long.

 

Clam Chowder – Whether you prefer the creamy white kind from New England, or the tomato-tinged version from Manhattan, there’s no denying that a bowl of warm clam chowder dotted with salty oyster crackers holds a special place on a cold, rainy day. Unless you don’t eat clam, in which case, pass the matzah balls!

 

 

Pepperoni Pizza – When Subway went kosher, the cheese got sacked – because if you have to pick between meat and cheese, the choice for most Jews is painfully clear. Not so with pizza. Since the dawn of the first pizza, Jews have had to suffer through milchig-only pies.