Apple of her father's eye: What if Chris Martin's last name was Plotnik?Below, the Jewcy staff attempts to discuss today's Times story about baby names. Have your own examples of hilarious Jewish names? Leave them in the comments section!

Emily: The New York Times “Bad Baby Names” story made me think about how having a super-Jewy name affects people.

Helen: Not having a super-Jewy name has been a respite for me, I hate to say it.

Tahl: You think it was fun being a short chunky adolescent with the name Tahl? I’m the Israeli version of the boy named Sue.

Helen: Actually, my friend Gal is the Israeli version of the boy named Sue.

Emily: I mean, also, can we be honest here? Super-Jewy names are inherently hilarious.

Izzy: Well, it changes over time. I was reading The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste this weekend. It came out in 1990. And their example of a hilarious mismatched ethnic name was "Michelle Caputo," which sounds, like, completely normal to me.

Emily: Seriously! MICHELLE?

Continue reading...

Our knocked up (self-titled) Faithhacker Laurel Snyder needs help picking a Jewish baby name. Suggestions from Jewcers thus far include:

Asher

Haskell

Galit

Aliza

Shira

Dara

Yael

Eitan

But my fave comes from Josh Parman of the nationally syndicated radio show Interfaith Voices:

Salathial

(!!!!) Salathial? Is it just me or.... SALATHIAL? The story Mr. Parman told about this name, er, kind of amazes me the same way Vh1's I Love New York does:

I was recently at a bar in Washington, D.C. talking to the step-son-in-law of a congressional representative. He was a non-Jew married to a small r reform hot woman. He said it was hard to think of a name, but once he had one, well! the baby making would begin in haste!

Being of sound mind and body, I suggested Salathiel, an honorific of the son of the the Queen of Sheba meaning "Black King of the Jews". He liked it, paid his tab, stumbled into a taxi, and for all I know, Salathiel may be gestating in a beautiful woman's stomach at this very moment.

You know, I was thinking of going to a pub down the block from said "bar" next Friday but thanks to the mention of dixieland jazz in that conveniently linked-to review, the choice is clear.

The grammatical correctness, tone, and self-proclaimed sobriety in this reply make me proud to call Mr. Parman an advisor to the step-blood of our federal government. And even prouder that Mr. Parman gave this step-blood good reason to shtup his wife that evening: "Salathial". Baby names like that. Are so. Sexy. Especially when utterred by a drunk husband.

Kudos on the civil service, Mr. Parman! Keep it up. And keep it sober.

Not keeping it sober,

AMY (Lookie, Laurel! To the left of the peren!)

Baby Names: He just LOOKS like a Herschel!Lance? Butch? Mordechai? Help me pick a baby name!

Since I’m knocked up, I find myself thinking a lot about Jewish baby names. But since my yuppie generation has decided to embrace all the cool old fashioned named, I find myself in a tricky spot… because all the good names are being totally overused. Hannah is out. Nathan is out. Just look!

So now I need your help, to point me toward the best Jewish names for boys and girls.

Maybe I’m overly concerned about picking a Jewish name because my husband isn’t Jewish. If we go with a non-Jewish name, I fear they’ll end up feeling like outsiders at Hebrew school. Sometimes I worry I fixate on this too much. I lean toward names like Abraham and Moses. Super-Jew names. My dad likes Gershom for a boy, Shifra for a girl. Is this silly? Should we just call him Giovanni and be done with it?

But at my son’s bris, when I had to think about (and talk about) the meaning of his name, it really hit me that it does mean something to have a cultural name. To be connected to your community through a name. And Jewish biblical names do carry such weight, such meaning. Whether or not you go with a Jewish “regular” name, or you pick two names for your kids, it’s  a very real way of connecting to Judaism:

Jews living in gentile lands have historically taken local names to use when interacting with their gentile neighbors. … The practice of taking local names became so common, in fact, that by the 12th century, the rabbis found it necessary to make a takkanah (rabbinical ruling) requiring Jews to have a Hebrew name!

Hebrew names are used in prayer in and out of synagogue and for other religious rituals. When a person is called up in synagogue for an aliyah (the honor of reciting a blessing over a Torah reading), he is called up by his Hebrew name…

Here’s a FAQ on Jewish baby-naming customs, in case you’re interested. And also a list of Jewish names.

Now, help me pick a name???