Nelson Mandela: the Nobel Peace Prize winner shakes his groove thangEver play that Six Degrees of Separation game where you pair two completely opposite people and try to link them together in six steps or less? Like for example, how do you get from Amy Winehouse to Nelson Mandela (without any anti-incarceration campaign jokes)? Thank goodness the people over at the HIV/AIDS awareness organization 46664 are giving us a good reason to tie these two very different celebs together.

That’s right: While the entire blogosphere was busy announcing that Amy Winehouse was to enter rehab at exclusive Israeli detox center, and then taking it back, the British pop star and tabloid favorite was making plans to sing at Mandela’s 90th birthday celebration and fundraiser in London next month, as 46664 announced today. This will be the singer’s first big-time concert appearance since November, and the world should be grateful that this particular Winehouse rumor is true.

Other performers scheduled for the event include Queen, Annie Lennox, Razorlight, and many more. Going to be in London around June 27? Tickets are still available.

The gorgeous Annie Leibovitz–shot cover of April’s Vanity Fair features Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler done up as ethereal Grecian goddesses. (Poehler keeps it real by copping a feel off Fey.) But not even that can compare with what Leibovitz delivers inside: Silverman done up to look like Amy Winehouse!

All the funnyladies profiled in the story, including Sandra Bernhard and Susie Essman, are styled as versions of familiar pop tarts like Paris and Britney. But a tattooed, behived, raccoon-eyed Sarah’s resemblance to the struggling Grammy winner is mind-blowing. Make that mind-blowingly AWESOME. Who knew cross-fertilizing our favorite lewd and crude Jewess with our beloved train wreck could be so hot!

Behold: Silverhouse

He's the Ike to her Tina, except without all the brilliant musical collaboration: Winehouse with hubbyOh Amy. According to The Sun, she’s back on the drugs and listening obsessively to Johnny Cash’s cover of the Nine Inch Nails song “Hurt” – never a good sign. Says the British tabloid:

She got a reluctant pal to smuggle drugs into the London rehab clinic on her FIRST NIGHT there.

Was “clean” for less than TEN days — in her failed bid to pass a drugs test to get a US visa to attend the Grammy Awards.

FEARS that without drugs she is just a ZOMBIE.

The Sun implies that her ZOMBIEFICATION (don’t you love how British papers toss around the capital letters?) comes from concern over her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, who’s in jail awaiting trial.

In this week’s New Yorker, Sasha Frere-Jones dismisses the argument that Winehouse fits the “tired (if true) template of the Genius Junkie,” arguing that critics loved her album long before she became the tabloids’ second-favorite hot mess. But you don’t need The Sun telling you about her drug problems to understand that a song like “You Know I’m No Good” is about a girl with serious problems.

To me, the presence of Blake—who was around before the media circus began—demonstrates that however boring the “genius junkie” trope might be, it’s pretty damn applicable here. I mean, how many latter-day blues singers are married at all, let alone to a guy in jail? Winehouse clearly knows how to make a commitment and stick to it, no matter how incredibly bad it might be for her. She might be a disaster, but she’s not joking around.

Two total non-surprises from last night’s Grammy Awards: Amy Winehouse didn’t make it, but she cleaned up anyway, winning Record of the Year, Best New Artist, Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and Best Pop Vocal Album.

Winehouse did perform live in London. It’s sort of hard to look at her knobby knees, so we suggest concentrating on her awesome suit-clad backup singers.

Mark Ronson, who produced Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black” album, tells MTVAsia how the two came up with the lyrics for “Rehab.” It’s pretty much exactly what you would expect:

"We were walking down the street," he continued, "and she's telling me a story about her family or something coming over to [her home], to kind of talk some sense into her. And she was like, 'They tried to make me go to rehab, and I told them no, no, no,' and she put her hand up.

"I guess, as a friend, I should have been like, 'Oh my God, that must have been hard for you.' But as a producer, I was just like, 'That sounds hooky — you should go back to the studio and we should turn that into a song.'"

She might still win: Grammy voters might not care about Amy's scandalsUSA Today has a searching analysis, complete with timeline, of the "eyelinered, tattooed R&B sensation" whose antics make "reformed bad girl Courtney Love [seem] hatched from a Jane Austen novel." On the bright side, according to Blender Editor in Chief Joe Levy, Amy "has the good fortune of going through this while Britney Spears is making her look like Annette Funicello." How will Amy's position on the Courtney-Britney-Annette-Jane spectrum affect the odds of her actually snagging any of the six Grammys she's nominated for? Maybe not at all: "The album is still a classic, no matter what happens in her personal life or how sad or ridiculous her image becomes," says Entertainment Weekly music critic Chris Willman. Besides, Grammy voting closed Jan. 9 -- before anyone saw that video of Amy allegedly smoking crack.

No, no, no: Maybe this time Amy will actually be rehabilitated! People reports that Amy Winehouse bowed to pressure from her record label and headed to a treatment facility yesterday. "She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction and prepare for her planned appearance at the Grammy Awards. She is nominated in an incredible six categories," Universal Music Group's statement reads. Accentuate the positive!  The recent video of her smoking what seemed like crack may have been a factor.

A video made the night before scabby British songbird Amy Winehouse appeared in court in such a disheveled state that even Carla Sosenko's bubbe got concerned shows the singer wandering around talking unintelligibly for five minutes and then smoking crack from a pipe.  Now we know why Amy Winehouse looks like a crackhead: it's because she smokes crack. 

No, no, no: A shonda.Amele,

We don't know each other, but I saw in the news today that you were "disheveled and unkempt" at your husband's court hearing. I am worried about you, mameleh. You are a Nice Jewish Girl, and your life is going down the toilet. (What do you mean she's doing well? What music nominations? But…she's missing teeth! She is bleeding through her ballet slippers! She can't even afford real street shoes! Ok, bubeleh. Sorry, sweetheart.)

My granddaughter Carla played me one of your songs on the computer. (She's very good with the computer. Such a smart girl. So she went to Boston University and not Dartmouth, like her first cousin Barry. BU is a very good school, certainly better than where her good-for-nothing cousin Lonny went, which is nowhere. His grandmother, my beloved sister Ruth, she should rest in peace.)

You, my dear, have the voice of an angel. A black angel, but an angel still. All that talent wasted on so much tsuris. Ach.

Honey, Nice Jewish Girls don't go to the drug rehab. No, no, no. (I beat my chest with each word I speak, bubeleh.) And I took it upon myself to throw an English muffin in the brook on your behalf during tashlich. You're welcome.

Listen to Carla's bubbe, Amy: she just wants what's best for you!Carla says I have to wrap it up, so listen closely to your bubbe: If you should decide to turn your life around and might one day like to be buried in a Jewish cemetery (poo poo poo, you should live a long and healthy life) and not in some shiksa garden with crosses everywhere (but I don't judge), and you'd like to remove those farshtunken tattoos, might I suggest Dr. Stuart Lerner, a lovely boy who's not so hard on the eyes. (Yes, Carla, I remember that she's married and has a male companion, but what she needs is a Nice Jewish Boy, and you got so mad that time I gave Riva Goldenblatt your phone number at the beach club to give to her grandson that I don't interfere anymore.) Stuey is a dermatology resident at Cornell Medical, and I'm sure he could help you. (He actually went to Harvard, but his hospital is affiliated with Cornell, where Carla also didn't go, though I assure you she got a good education, even if Boston University is not Ivy League.)

Your body is a temple, mameleh. (No, sweetheart, I wasn't suggesting she go to temple, though it wouldn't hurt.) Speaking of temple, we have a lovely new cantor at Sons of Israel. I'll save a seat for you, Amila. Bring a sweater (it gets cold in the sanctuary) and your appetite. The whitefish salad at the kiddush is to die for. (What
do you mean she doesn't eat?)

Love,
Carla's Bubbe

Winehouse and fianceAmy Winehouse's fiance Blake Fielder-Civil will convert to Judaism for a traditional Jewish wedding. The Mirror reported:

A friend of the couple said: "Amy has asked Blake to convert to Judaism. He isn't religious so it's no skin off his nose. He will do anything she wants and has spoken to her dad about it.

"Their wedding will be a traditional Jewish ceremony. For Blake and Amy, family is very important."

Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Whereas something as significant as conversion seems might have sparked a huge conflict for many couples it sounds like this was a relatively easily reached agreement. Couples who easily agree upon things are build to last. Then again, this is certainly the least he can do for the cheating that lead to their last breakup. Albeit it did inspire her increasingly popular album Back to Black.

Oh, breakups. Strength for the soul and a ticket to stardom.

 

In honor of Britney Spears "successfully completing" her stint at rehab today after several failed attempts. And because Izzy brought the song to my attention earlier in my "Ode To Amy Winehouse" post.

Amy WinehouseBritish Jazzy singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse is everywhere these days. In Britain, she's been a pop icon/spectacle for a some time now, doing the club circuit with such privileged British brats as Kelly Osbourne. With a personal life weighed down with talk of week-long benders and eating disorders, Winehouse isn't known for being too stable and could probably put both Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan to shame in the "party girl" persona dept.

Admittedly, Winehouse feels the genuine article, a bit more affable in her struggles, and she's got the chops to back it. When I saw her video play after watching an episode of "Real World: Denver," I knew she was headed to a career of being the "it" girl and destined to be the songstress providing the credit music and video for MTV for such shows as "The Hills" and "The Newlyweds: [Some Other Couple Headed For Divorce After The Show Wraps Up]

Anyways, here is a clip from Amy's latest album. It doesn't do justice to her range, but it shows her appeal. I think.