Prenuptial Agreement: think of it as a time saving gestureRabbinic Courts in Israel are looking at a new possible solution for the problem of Agunot, or women whose husbands won’t grant them a divorce. The controversial fix-it: A prenup.

It’s funny that this should garner any controversy at all, since an integral part of a Jewish marriage, a ketubah, is already one big step towards a prenup. A ketubah is basically an insurance statement for a woman, making sure she won’t be left penniless if her hubby runs off or drops dead. If we’re already talking about unpleasant stuff like abandonment and death at the wedding, what’s a little financial negotiation?

A Jerusalem Post article summarizes some of the anti-prenup feeling in the Orthodox world:

The use of prenuptial agreements to facilitate the divorce process is a controversial issue among Rabbinic Court judges. Some rabbis oppose the use of most prenuptials, claiming the agreements make it too easy for one side to end a marriage. They are concerned that making divorce too easy will endanger the Jewish family institution.

They also argue that the use made in prenuptials of monetary incentives to encourage a recalcitrant partner to acquiesce to divorce is really a form of coercion prohibited by Jewish law.

Bullshit and bullshit, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m not the only one. Rabbi Eliyahu Ben-Dahan, administrative head of the Rabbinic Courts, is on board for prenups, and so is Marc Stern, who wrote an article called ‘A Legal Guide to the Prenuptial Agreement for Couples about to Be Married’ published in a book called The Prenuptial Agreement - Halakhic and Pastoral Considerations by Rabbi Basil Herring and Rabbi Kenneth Auman.

Prenups aren’t romantic or fun, but neither is being stuck in a marriage you can’t get out of. Let’s save everyone some grief and legal fees down the line.

Addendum: Check out this post on the Hatam Soferet blog about a woman scribe writing her own get.  Simultaneously sad and empowering. (Hat tip, Jewess).

Oh, big news in the world of Agunot this week!

Fear not, Agunot!: Canada will save you. But, should it?Canada doesn't mess with religious matters in its courts so much, but the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that the civil divorce agreement signed by Jason Marcovitz, in which is specifically agreed to give his wife, Stephanie Bruker, a get, was declared a valid contract that overrides his assertion for protection under freedom of religion. (Having never been divorced myself, is it standard in a civil divorce to specify a get to be forthcoming? I would imagine not and that this case could potentially hyper-sensitize civil divorce language if a husband has any inclination towards hesitating on the get, no?) The couple married in 1969 and obtained a civil divorce in 1980, with Marcovitz initially agreeing to give a get and later changing his mind, until 1995 when he did finally give her a get, at which point she was 46 years old, past child-bearing age for many women, as the court noted.

So, the court awarded his ex-wife almost $50K in damages, on the grounds that her ability to remarry and have more children was blocked by Marcovitz's lack of cooperation. (What, do you think, is a fair settlement for being barred from remarrying and having children or more children? Can you put a price on that, really? And, is it somehow worth more or less in damages if there were no previous children? Discuss.)

Evelyn Brook, president of the Canadian Coalition of Jewish Women for the Get, called the decision "a great relief." The ruling "does not say that he had to give her a get. It simply said that because he didn't, then there are things to forfeit," Brook told JTA. "For every husband who has gone back on his promise" in a divorce settlement, "this makes a difference." While many women's groups are gung-ho about this ruling, yet many in the legal world aren't so sure this is a good thing, as this ruling could be the first bit of tiptoeing into religious meddling by courts.

Marcovitz's complaint and reason he claimed to withhold the get from Bruker was that she'd had breached their civil agreement by becoming less observant and by turning the couple's daughters against him. This decision was reached 7-2 by Canada's Supreme Court, with the dissenting judges stating Marcovitz's promise was nothing beyond a moral obligation and that "finding otherwise will expand courts into areas where they have no jurisdiction", JTA reports this morning.

The Marcovitz/Bruker case was the first to be presented to Canada's Supreme Court since Ottowa's amendment to the Divorce Act in 1990, which prohibited people from creating or maintaining obstacles for their former spouse to marry religiously.

Surely we have an Agunot or two in our readership that could provide some insight here? Surely a few people with greater knowledge of the Canadian legal system than I can offer? Or, with great knowledge of American family law and how, if at all, this ruling could make waves in our courts...?

Feuding Parents: How can divorce get any worse? Add a kid and a "get."I know a guy who used to go around with his friends and beat up guys who wouldn’t give their wives a get. A get is the Jewish document that a man must give a woman in order for their divorce to be final. Without a get a woman can’t get remarried, she can’t just say, “We’re divorced,” and have that be the end of it, and a civil divorce doesn’t count, either. Women who are being held in a marriage they don’t want to be in are called Agunot (singular: agunah).

Being an agunah really sucks, and many communities recognize how unfair it is, which is why there are bands of young guys whose job it is to beat up the offending men. I always thought that was pretty much the end of it, but it turns out it’s a lot more complicated. In Israel, since 1973 there’s been a law that says that a couple can’t divide up their assets equally until after their get has been processed. As a result, lots of women are blackmailed by their husbands into giving up their financial rights to shared property so that they can get a get.

This Sunday a bill is being presented to the Israeli parliament that would change things so that property would be evenly distributed in the absence of a get if proceedings took longer than nine months, or earlier if domestic violence is an issue.

This is really good news (for more about the law check out this article from Jpost), but it makes me think about one of my least favorite topics: Divorce.

I am deathly afraid of divorce, to the point that I sometimes think I just never want to get married because I’d be too scared we might get divorced. I’ve participated in and witnessed plenty of nasty break-ups before, and I can’t even imagine how much worse it would be if you add lawyers, money, and kids to the equation. And a Jewish divorce just seems even more unpleasant than the regular variety. And of course I don’t like the idea of a man having to grant me a divorce, like it’s so magnanimous of him to say that we don’t get along. Yuck.

All of this made me extra happy to see that there are so many great resources for agunot. Check out this site, run by the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance, which has everything from a prayer for agunot, to a Guide to a Jewish Divorce and the Beit Din System.

The nice thing about being Jewish is that even though Judaism is chock full of things that piss me off, there’s always some group trying to negotiate between halacha and my position. As they used to say in my Orthodox high school, baruch hashem.