Looking Good: but not good enough for M.B.C.The mother of Borat star and creator Sacha Baron Cohen isn’t happy. What has put Mama Baron Cohen (let’s just call her M.B.C.) over the top is that fact that her son and his (whisper) non-Jewish fiancé seem to have no intention of getting married anytime soon. Having postponed their wedding not once, but twice, giving Isla more time to complete conversion classes, M.B.C. has been left waiting for a much promised wedding. You see, Sacha may not be ready to get married, but M.B.C. is.

It's safe to say that hell hath no fury like a pissed off Jewish Mother, and to add insult to injury, Mama Baron Cohen isn’t just mad, she’s…how do I say this…disappointed. Disappointment is the Achilles heal of all Jewish children, who would arguably prefer listening to Paris Hilton’s debut album from beginning to end than having to hear their mother utter the word “disappointed” in reference to them.

For a Jewish Mother, a wedding is the Senior Prom, the mother of all parties. It’s her opportunity to shine. For anyone who has been a bride or a groom at a Jewish wedding, you know that while you may be getting married, your Mother is getting recognition. It’s her day to show the world that she was such a good mom someone else actually finds her child desirable enough to take him or her off Mom’s hands. And while M.B.C. has the brass ring for aging Jewish Mothers--a grandchild--she hasn’t gotten the Crown Jewel of motherhood: a wedding.

While most Jewish parents would be thrilled to have a child like Sacha, whose religion is so important to him that he’s willing to wait to get married until he and his bride are of the same faith, M.B.C. is a reminder that when a pregnant woman says she just wants her child to be happy and healthy, she’s lying. Mothers want the trifecta: Happy, Healthy, and Married. Sacha Baron Cohen created the top grossing movie of last year, is often referred to as a genius, and even boasts a degree from Cambridge where he graduated Summa Cum Everything, and yet his mother is still disappointed because he’s not married.

All around the world, Jewish Mothers are united not by their religion but by disappointment when they can’t marry their children off fast enough. You might have just found a solution to bring peace to the Middle East and chances are your Mom is still going to say, “But solving the world’s problems leaves you no time to date.” If you’re over 30 and still single, your Mom is probably lighting Yizkor candles every year, marking the death of hope that she’ll ever attend your wedding.

And so, Sacha Baron Cohen, I salute you. If you’re a disappointment to your Mom, with your fancy degree, successful career, happy relationship, and healthy baby, then what does that say for everyone else? If you can’t make your Mom happy, then perhaps none of us can, and so we can all stop trying. We can all breathe a sigh of relief. We can all rest assured that we can go to medical school, get elected to the Senate, rescue a child who has fallen into a well, and our Moms will still say, “Hero, shmero. When are you going to get married?”

Sacha Baron Cohen is loose in Israel, and he's creating some confusion over the thin linguistic line between hummus and Hamas. Posing as his character Bruno, a gay Austrian rock star, Cohen has been interviewing unsuspecting Israeli and Palestinian political experts, leaving them flabbergasted by his "confusion" between chick pea paste and the militant political organization. This delicate differentiation has been dealt with before, most notably in West Bank Story, winner of the 2007 Live Action Short Film Oscar, and an official selection of Sundance Festival.

Hungry for more? Check out this video of Adam Sandler discussing the hummus factor in his recent flick, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.

If you're unfortunate enough to join the growing ranks of stranded air travelers, cross your fingers for the mother of all diversions: Sacha Baron Cohen was recently spotted in the Wichita airport filming his latest faux doc, Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. (So far the only other credited cast member is Real World alum Trishelle, as herself. Watching a flaming Austrian reporter get into trouble with a trashy fame whore sounds like it has the comic potential to outdo even Borat's kidnapping of Pamela Anderson.)

Check out the prankster king doing what he does best -- unleashing his squirmalicious hijinks on the public without breaking a sweat. (And keep your eye on the guy behind the guy, Bruno's apparent Azamat. You go, boy.)

When I started working at Jewcy yesterday, I found a DVD on my desk titled The Baba Best of Baba Alla, which a (supposed) Ukrainian filmmaker named Yakov Levi (supposedly) directed. Wikipedia says that Levi is a real person, but someone might be pulling a Sacha Baron Cohen.

The DVD collects a half-dozen of Levi's sick masterpieces, including Shameless, which chronicles the adventures of an octogenarian Eastern European prostitute named Baba Alla, "the Sexy Babushka." (If you view Shameless, you will puke by the end -- and probably by the end of the first five seconds.)

Courtesy Jew School:

Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen is being sued by a British woman who claims he called her a “bitch” and a “minger” in an Ali G sketch.

The comedian also falsely said he got her pregnant as he interviewed novelist Gore Vidal for a show broadcast in 2004, the woman’s lawsuit alleges.

She says she met the star 20 years ago on a trip to Israel with Jewish youth group Habonim, but that they never engaged in any sexual activity and “over time they went their separate ways”.

But in August 2004 friends told her they had heard her name mentioned by the Ali G character, who allegedly said: “Me used to go out with this bitch called Heddi Cundle.”

For the full scoop, click here. To see the plaintiff's document (and it's worth it), click more.

The segment quoted in the lawsuit reads:

"Ain't it better sometimes, to get rid of the whole thing rather than amend it (the constitution) cos like me used to go out with this bitch called Heddi Cundle and she used to always trying amend herself. Y'know, get her hair done in highlights, get like tattoo done on her batty crease, y'know have the whole thing shaved – very nice but it didn't make any more difference. She was still a minger and so, y'know me had enough and once me got her pregnant me said alright, laters, that is it. Ain't it the same with the constitution?"

• markymarkJerry Seinfeld is like an old friend and one that we should be seeing a lot more of. Hopefully next year when he replaces Ellen as host. [TV Blend]
• Congrats to Matthew Broderick's former personal assistant. We should all be so lucky. [Centre Daily]
• If there weren't blacks, Jews, and gays, there would be no Oscars! Nervous laughter ensues. [Variety.Com]
• "I'm pretty damnit. I really AM!" Abigail Breslin's oddly sexualized act last night snags her a Most Likely To Be Partying At The Age Of 14 Cum Lindsay Lohan award. If we played out this scenario properly, this would also make her arch rival Dakota Fanning, Hillary Duff. [Lancaster Online]
• Leonard DiCaprio has replaced George Clooney in the category of the It man or popular, charming, articulate, politically-minded activist/actor who still manages to bed all the pretty girls even though he drives a Hybrid. [Tennessean.Com]
• Sacha Baron Cohen is a "Jewish big bird." He's yellow, full of feathers, and has a noticeable beak? [Times Herald-Record]
• A Jewish director won for Best Director. Well, sort of anyways. Marty Scorsese is Eugene Levy's long lost brother afterall. [ABC7.Com]
• Mark Wahlberg has come a long way from "Fear." Reese Witherspoon hasn't. Maybe she needs to "breathe in" less and "breathe out" more. [The Boston Globe]

Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat: Get Your Sue On.Americans have yet to find an issue that they didn't think would look much better in a law suit. And Sacha Baron Cohen is learning that lesson all too well as a result of his highly successful, yet equally controversial film, "Borat." From Starpulse News Blog:

Sacha Baron Cohen has been hit by a new lawsuit from a man who claims he was "accosted" by the British funnyman in character as Borat in a South Carolina restaurant last year. Footage of the incident, in which Cohen posed as a toilet attendant, did not feature in his hit movie "Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan," but has appeared on the Comedy Central network and the internet.

I didn't realize that being "accosted" warranted suing someone, but maybe I'm still a little fuzzy on the rules for America's favorite pastime.

Sacha Baron Cohen Hit By New Lawsuit [Starpulse News Blog]