Ha, wasn't it humiliating for Scientology when that clip of Tom Cruise being all wild-eyed and talking about orgs and DPs and whatnot surfaced online? Now everyone will think Scientologists are crazy! Good thing no embarrassment like that could ever befall the Jews.

Oh, wait. Oops. It turns out that Hebrew Hammer writer/director Jon Kesselman made a top secret Jewish indoctrination video that makes Tom look saneish. Whether he's curing cancer, curing 9/11, or just walking on water, for Jon Kesselman, it's all about KJW: Keep Judaism Working. Oy.

For the first time in my life I feel truly American. Vestiges of rebellious third world sentimentality are not erased but they have become much more rational. I feel an unbridgeable distance from those militants across the globe that I previously felt some sort of pity for. Once I thought that even though their methods were disreputable they were still simply misguided people trying to rectify the injustices of the world. No more. Now, having seen their vision of justice, I am appalled that I ever felt some sort of emotional, sentimental connection with them. So what if it was pity and not alliance? So what? It was connection, and I rue that. If I hate them now then I must hate the part of me that did not hate them before. I don’t understand. Do the expositions of our sacred (as is life) Shariah not leave a mark in their heart? Does not the generous and magnanimous character of our Prophet not ring in these people’s minds? They have lashed out like Nietzsche’s master moralists, but I see no nobility in their actions; no honor in their enunciation.

That was what I wrote at 4:30 p.m., on 9/11/01.

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