Sex & Love

The yentas over at celebrity gossip site Ohnotheydidnt are insisting that an actual Sarah Silverman/Jimmy Kimmel sex tape exists, citing ZackTaylor.ca’s anonymous source that claims the twosome recorded it while on vacation back when they were a couple, and then forgot the camera in their hotel room! While I find this story, along with the grainy photos of the alleged encounter sent to Zack Taylor, tenuous at best, I can’t help but hope it is all true. Horrible, right? The Sarah/Jimmy couple is one of my least favorite celebrity pairings, and we all know that Sarah was fucking Matt Damon the whole time.

Then why am I so interested? Honestly, it’s because these two people, both of them hairy and somewhat misshapen, are some of the truest representations of actual-humanity that Hollywood has got. They’re not Pam and Tommy, and they are certainly not Kim and Reggie; instead, they’re you and me. They are that couple next door that never stops arguing, they are that couple you see making out in the same cafe every week and every time you see them you accidentally make eye contact and then can’t control your own gag reflex. They are, undeniably, real human beings. And it’s gross! So of course I want to see them having sex. And I bet you do too. Just admit you’ll be grabbing it from the torrents as soon as it’s released.

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