Sex & Love

Unkosher Sex: Ultra-Religious Go Online in Search of Extramarital Affairs

What does it mean to religiously attend church, temple or synagogue, live in a community where G-d’s laws are first and foremost, and then deliberately go on the internet in order to break one of the most sacred of commandments: … Read More

By / June 12, 2009

What does it mean to religiously attend church, temple or synagogue, live in a community where G-d’s laws are first and foremost, and then deliberately go on the internet in order to break one of the most sacred of commandments: Thou shall not commit adultery? It is no surprise that the internet has become an electronic meeting place for married men and women looking to have affairs; it may come as a shock, however, to learn that the web is also the hub for a growing number of ultra religious married people looking to start extramarital affairs with people who share their faith.

On sites like Craigslist and AshleyMadison.com (which carries the motto “Life is short. Have an affair.”) people who self-proclaim as “religious” can be found seeking out others of their faith tradition to be unfaithful with. In the past, philandering religious men went to strip clubs and so-called “kosher” brothels to retreat from their wives in secret. But there appears to be a trend of religious men and women seeking out affairs online; and one man has founded a website tailored specifically to his community’s needs.

“Every day I would see ads on Craigslist from the “frum” [religious Jewish] community. My wife and I started talking to them and realized there was a big need for this,” said Jerry (who does not wish to disclose his last name for safety), founder of Shaindy.com. Shaindy.com is tailored mainly to the religious and Jewish seeking extramarital affairs. Though the site is only two months old, Shaindy.com — with the tag line, “Jews Can Have Fun Too” — already has 2,500 members paying $99 annually for the right to log on and seek out other married people interested in having an affair.

“People always like to think that we are holier than thou,” Jerry said, who himself is a member of the Orthodox community. “Our community has the same needs as any other community — dating, drugs, cheating or whatever, and it’s silly to think we are ‘different.’”Continue reading at www.BustedHalo.com.

  • Hatch

    Something about this just seems so so wrong to me. I was always taught the romantic view that the frum just didn’t do that, they didn’t do anything wrong. While I know that no one is perfect it still comes as a shock. 

  • gentile

    Some would consider such behavior an indictment of the institution of marriage itself. There are statistics showing that half of all Christian men and a third of all Christian religious leaders are addicted to online porn. In a 1970 Ph.D. dissertation entitled "Tearoom Trade," Laud Humphreys showed that fully half of the men engaging in public restroom sex were religious and political conservatives who considered themselves heterosexual, and had wives and kids at home. Examples include Larry Craig and Jim Bakker. I believe this behavior is a result of what I call the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. The more you tell someone not to do something, the more apt they are to do it. A similar example is the so-called war on drugs. Since the declaration of this "war," the U.S. has become the largest consumer of illegal drugs in the world. I present this evidence as merely a possible cause of the pronounced marital infidelity among the devout. By no means do I draw any definite conclusions from it.