Religion & Beliefs

The Queer Orthodox Jew

There is a certain element of schizophrenia to it–biblical verses run through my head even during the sexual encounter–‘I know this is wrong, I’m sorry G-d’-but at a certain point those voices are silenced by the sheer physical pleasure of … Read More

By / October 3, 2008

There is a certain element of schizophrenia to it–biblical verses run through my head even during the sexual encounter–‘I know this is wrong, I’m sorry G-d’-but at a certain point those voices are silenced by the sheer physical pleasure of it.

 

Single Woman

We tend to think of "queer" as referring to homosexual orientation.  But within the Orthodox Jewish community, the term queer can take on a more subtle meaning.  As an Orthodox individual, any step I take outside of the mandates of halakhah, or Jewish law–whether in the sexual realm or any other realm–makes me queer. Let me explain:  In general society, which is heteronormative, "queer" is juxtaposed with "straight" in thinking about sexual identity. However, in the Orthodox Jewish community, halakhah defines the norm, or the "straight", and the acts marginalized by halakhah leave a large space open for the queer, including heterosexual individuals.

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  • eilat

    tellner

    There may be three factors that boost the Israeli economy, perhaps the only Second World economy on the planet, from approaching Third World growth (off course taking into account US tax dollars).  These contribute greatly to the coffers: 

    1.  Rich French Jews who buy Israeli properties at a tremendous rate and who visit 2-3 times a year for holidays where they spend their francs and don’t use services.

    2.  The new Russian Christian elite who holiday in Egypt and travel to Israel for unbelievable shopping sprees.

    3.  Anglo Jews who make aliyah and then make yoridah shortly after, selling off their goods at discounts before they make their way back ‘home’.

    But we do digress.  Maybe we should laugh with queer, single orthodox Jewry.

    eilat

     

  • tellner

    So risking Down’s Syndrome is normative. Urninary incontinence at 40 is Jewish. Having so many kids that you can only survive on charity, foreign aid and by parasitizing Jews who limit their families to the number of children they can afford is "the right way".

    For this I raised money for Israel? That is what my tax dollars go to pay for?

  • eilat

    Having returned to Israel after 24 years there are tremendous changes that have taken place.  What is most noticable is the numbers of Jews enlisting as soldiers in the demographic war.  There were always matchmakers who made a good living in Jerusalem working within the Ultra Orthodox community, but now these ‘professional’ schiduchim are ten a penny and they are enlisting new recruits of ready parents each day, except for Shabbat and Hagim.

    I have heard of young girls going to Yeshivah before finishing High School being told to forget their unneccesary secular education and to begin searching for a Chatan in order to start a family.  These girls sometimes as young as 16 are married by 17.  Apparently a groom for a young girl is quite easy to find. 

    The demographic struggle has some surprising positivity for unusual coupling.  Israel is a country that not only provides free artificial insemination, but has a service to find fathers within the gay community to support mothers of babies born through AID (Artificial Insemination by Donor).  

    But there are the "horror" scenes for those of us used to polite society.  I remember my first sightings in a mall of women of a certain age (my age I would think) walking about in public with a bellies full of baby.  It was shocking at first. One woman walked up to me and stared in my eye confrontationally.  I could read her mind, "Get over it", her eyes said to me, "this is the right way".  And I wondered if she had known I was divorced, would she have sent me to a shadchanit in order to enlist my services to the last egg in this all encompassing demograhic struggle.

     I wonder what we are coming to.  I think of hearing Rebbitzin Lori Palatnik’s talk about a friend who visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC.  The friend, a woman, was miraculously fortunate to obtain the last ticket of the day to the Holocaust Museum on the spur of the moment.  As the friend entered the museum she was given a name (as everyone is) of a Holocaust victim whose life story will be revealed at the end of the museum tour.  This woman was given the name of someone who shared her first and last names.  Another miracle.  When Lori’s friend returned from the tour she related the story to the rebbitzin of her obtaining the last ticket without a booking, and of the name given to her being her own.  At dinner she asked Rebbitzin Palatnik what she thought these miracles of coincidence meant.  The Rebbbitzin’s response was,"This means you should marry and have many children".  I personally never would have thought of that response.  I never would have considered it a forgone conclusion, certainly.

    So after 24 years in the galut I don’t think it is funny to say that one is considered queer in the orthodox community if one is single.  It isn’t funny either that one is considered queer if one is single in Israel in general.  And least humourous is the development that one is considered queer in Israel if one not a parent to be (even at a certain age).  Oh, my.

  • Maayan

    Interesting topic you have presented Jennie, I enjoyed reading through your thought process. I wonder if you have pushed the term queer too far, to encompass too much. The idea of being queer if you are not in the norm confuses me. I think your distinction would make everyone partially queer, because most people have either done something not "normal" or the thought has crossed their mind. I do agree that in the religious context there is a more obvious distinction-whether you follow all the halackic rules or not, sorts one into the category of norm and this so called queer. However in the secular world I don’t there there is a definition of what is to be considered "normal," I think this concept has become so vague and biased in modern society.

  • zbird

    You write:

    "In each and every group there is a norm and there is
    its other, which I call the queer. And in each group the queer gets
    marginalized and placed into a similar space of enforced silence, secrecy and
    shame."

    So is there no legitimate norm that a community can impose on its members?  Can no behavior or character flaw ever be "marginalized"?  I see the error in marginalizing homosexuals because I don’t see any moral problem with homosexuality.  On the other hand, I would hate to belong to a community that rejected the norm against stealing, murder, child molestation, etc.  Thieves, murders and child molesters are marginalized (hopefully encarcerated) for good reason.

    –Z