Religion & Beliefs
Let’s Have a Baptism/Bris
By Andrea Askowitz / September 2, 2008
We know for sure we’re having a boy. Got the amnio results. All is good news, even the news that it’s a boy.
I mean right? We already have a girl, and a boy and a girl is every mom’s dream. And boys love their mommies. There is that special bond that only happens between boys and their moms. And what is more important in the world than raising a sensitive, feminist, gun-hating man? A man who loves women. A man who can be a modern-day Jesus, as this Jew understands Jesus. A man who can befriend the sick and destitute and end world hunger and create peace between warring nations. And there’s really no difference between a boy and a girl in the gender neutral world this boy will create. That’s why this is such good news. But what about the penis? Now we have serious decisions to make. Since Victoria is totally FOR circumcision, and since she wants to baptize, I came up with the best idea. I said, “Let’s have a baptism/bris.” As soon as I mentioned it the idea seemed even better than ever. Here would be a way to honor both of our religions at the same time. ”We’ll invite our friends and family and someone will sprinkle a little water and then someone’ll do the snip.” Victoria said, “What’s a bris?” I explained that a bris is a circumcision done buy a special rabbi called a Mohel. The Mohel comes over with his special snipper and the family gathers around and I think it’s customary that the father hold the baby, so naturally, I would hold the baby and we’d give him a little wine, the baby, that is, to help numb the pain and then the Mohel does the snip. Victoria said, “AT HOME? That’s freaky.” I said, “Baby, there’s nothing freakier to a Jew than a Baptism, except for maybe those statues of the man nailed to the cross that hang over everyone’s beds. Why do they put those in the bedroom? Is that a sex thing?” She ignored my last question. She said, “I don’t want to cut my baby’s penis in front of other people. That’s freaky.” I see her point. Religion is freaky.
Andrea Askowitz, author of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, is guest blogging for Jewcy, and she'll be here all week. Lucky you!
POST A COMMENT
Pingback: Dove Hunting: What is the Best Weapon and Gauge? | Ultimate Fishing and Hunting Blog
The bris is performed in front of family and friends, but it’s not performed publicly.
A designated honoree holds the baby on his lap (I guess I should say his/her, right?).
The mohel does the cutting and bandages up the bambino. It’s not like everyone’s crowded around, watching. They usually maintain a respectful distance.
The baby is then whisked away to his mother(s) and the mohel instructs her/them on caring for the wound and diapering and so on and so forth.
Everyone else is already chowing down on bagels and lox by then.
I think you should schedule the baptism for another time. Perhaps invite the Jewish family members to the bris and the christian ones to the baptism?
Let’s break down all distinctions: masculine/feminine; greek/jew; baptism/bris: it’s like being in graduate school again! And as a result everything is the same; everything is neutral. But in the process identity–as shaped by a specific set of traditions–is lost. I don’t find religion so freaky, but this attempt at pareve neutrality, and the desire to occupy that position of neutrality, well, I guess I do find that a little bit freaky. Oh, one more thing Andrea: Mazel Tov!
–www.openmindedtorah.blogspot.com.
I don’t know where you got that raising a child with two religions will make the child confused….I know many people who have adopted the best of all faiths.
It is also so narrow minded to think that a child needs a mother and a father and that is the only way possible. So single moms or single dads can’t raise good kids. Also single people who adopt children are I guess damaging a child. Well one child raised by a mother is now a Presidential candidate. What takes….
All a child is need is LOVE.
I agree with Momma's boy that a child should be taught to make up his or her own mind. He or she should be able to question and not simply parrot his or her parents' beliefs. When I hear a child cheering for a political candidate, even if it's Obama, I feel uncomfortable.
But, every parent has an obligation to teach love and respect. And being sensitive and loving women and hating guns are not values open for debate.
Andrea Askowitz
And what is more important in the world than raising a sensitive, feminist, gun-hating man?
Oh, I don't know … how about raising a son free to make up his own mind about those sorts of things instead of being a blank slate to be imprinted upon by his mother?
Wanna post your own comments? Gotta log in first!