Religion & Beliefs
Yes, We Know It’s Christmas!
By Tamar Fox / December 25, 2007
I’m such an anti-conformist I don’t spend Christmas eating Chinese food and seeing a movie. I had coffee and a bagel with a friend this morning (the kosher bagel place was hopping, of course) and then finished my grading for the semester, napped, and watched West Wing DVDs. My mother and I had a scintillating discussion about the clearance sales starting tomorrow. 
But the whole thing has me wondering if there’s a really appropriate way of celebrating someone else’s holidays. There are a lot of reasons I don’t buy into the whole Jesus thing, but that’s doesn’t mean I’ve got a thing against Christians, and I’ve got mixed feelings about whether I’d be comfortable at a Christmas dinner (kashrut aside), or a midnight mass. On the one hand, I think it’s nice to be with friends when they’re celebrating whatever it is they want to celebrate, and I do have the day off and there’s nothing open, really. But it feels like a fine line between attending someone else's celebration of Jesus's birth, and celebrating that birth myself. This goes back to my thing against religious voyeurism and how I don’t think prayer or religion should be spectator sports. I’m all for interfaith efforts and people working for better understanding between faith communities, but the idea of non Jews coming to, say, Kol Nidre because of the pretty music, or even just because they like me and they know it’s important to me seems really bizarre. I don’t think I would be comfortable at an Easter dinner even though it’s just a meal (though the customary ham would pose a problem), and I really can’t get into any of the Christmas hoopla, either. Does anyone know of a great way to deal with Christian holidays in a way that doesn’t feel like too much of a shout out to Jesus?
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I really hate Christmas music. It just doesn't rock. Wimpy songs by the Eagles, Paul Mc Cartney and worse! But here's the news: Jews have incredible mitzvah opportunities during the "holiday season."
Anyone who reads a newspaper (or gets their news online) knows that the nation's blood supply is dangeriously low at this time of year. Our neighbors are busy, or out of town, and donating blood just falls off the radar screen.
So, this year I decided to use the opportunity to do two mitzvot: 1. donate blood, 2. learn CPR.
I highly recommend it as an alternative (or a supplement) to going to the movies and/or Chinese food on Christmas.
Do you say 'Happy Holidays' or 'Merry Christmas' to your Christian acquaintances. Lately I've been choosing the later.
This is a great post, Tamar, one that raises thoughts I often have myself. I don't have answers, really, but it's a good issue to personally consider and revisit often, I feel. LifeHack ran a post yesterday about transforming widely-celebrated holidays that you don't personally observe (days that most places are closed for business and you have no choice but to slow down for at least on some level) days of personal productivity, catching up on household stuff, email, lists, etc. Eh, it's a option.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/5-things-to-do-if-you-arent-celebrating-christmas.html
Jonathan, I enjoyed your comment, btw.
Why should Jews feel stressful about Christmas? For me and my family, Jewish friends, significant other it was just a normal day. Of course it's impossible to ignore Christmas if you live in a country like America but it's possible. I don't even understand the Jewish American custom of going to a movie and eating Asian food on Christmas. Why even acknowledge it?
Jews should deal with Christian holidays by not dealing with them. Enjoy being Jewish and let's only celebrate our holidays.
I raised 2 children here in California, and we've been active in a Conservative shul. The majority of my kid's friends didn't go to church, or Sunday school, and so all they did on December 25th was exchange gifts and eat. By the time they were teenagers these kids had learned a bit about why they were doing it, but it was all pretty secular. Because we always answered my kid's "why" questions pretty thoroughly, sometimes they had a better idea of why people celebrate Christmas and Easter than their "Christian" friends did. We've always taught our children that sharing a meal with their friends and helping them celebrate their holiday was OK.
Do you mind if I ask what you consider your religious observance to be? I read your profile, but it seems pretty obvious that you don't conform to "standard" Jewish or Christian modes of practice and belief. I've read some of your similar comments, and it's made me curious. Could you explain yourself a bit?
On the "religious voyeurism" issue, I think that is very much based on modern Jewish conceptions of prayer and religious observance, which, while they were affected by Christian spirituality during the Haskalah, also exhibit a Jewish mentality. Here's what I mean: the reforms of the Haskalah brought Jewish prayer away from its position as an exclusively legalistic obligation, and introduced the idea of spirituality. At the same time, Christian spirituality, at least to me, appear external, welcoming, looking for people to embrace Jesus and be saved. Jewish prayer, on the other hand, reflects the Jewish experience: exclusive and community-based. Thus, while you or I might feel uncomfortable going to a mass "just to see what it's all about," our Christian hosts would probably be more than happy to see us giving Christianity a chance (or at least that's what I expect their perception would be). The same goes the other way: having a non-Jew observe Jewish prayer makes us uncomfortable because they break up the sense of community and the exclusivity of Judaism. Were I to attend a mass, I'd be uncomfortable because of the expectation that others might have of me to accept Jesus, not because I would worry about whether I was practicing voyeurism. Similarly, any discomfort I would have with non-Jews attending a Jewish service would stem from my perception that they expect me to pray for them, which isn't something that Jews do.
As for going out for Chinese food, it is not celebrating Christmas: it has nothing to do with Jesus, and everything to do with the fact that the world around us is celebrating something, so we might as well take the time to do something fun as well. I could see an argument for the "ritual" nature of eating Chinese food being problematic, but I hardly think that, in principle, utilizing the day off we get for someone else's holy day is an issue (unless, of course, one were to disrupt others' observance of their holy days).
"Does anyone know of a great way to deal with Christian holidays in a way that doesn’t feel like too much of a shout out to Jesus?"
Yep. A movie and chinese food, or middle-eastern food, or Indian food, or any food that is from a country that is not primarily Christian. How better to point out that not everyone in this country is of a Christian based faith than doing things that have nothing to do with Christianity?
Another quandry…when I went the movies yesterday the place was packed with people, most of whom I'm guessing were of Christian based faiths. I don't understand why US Christians don't do more for their own holiday, but that's their problem.
BTW…I couldn't agree with you more on the whole issue.
Christmas was the day that nearly everyone else was involved in and
stressing over. Myself, I felt like myself and a friend were the only
ones taking it easy and playing games. When our relatives came home,
they were exhausted and arguing over something, so I think it's fair to
say that Christmas doesn't succeed in making everyone happy. In fact, I
haven't seen anyone happy about Christmas in a long time. For months at
a time, people spend money that isn't theirs on material things that
they'll never see again. What do they have to show for it? Paying
credit card bills well into the next year and coping with depression in
some form or another.
Myself, it's just another day, and the less
I allow myself to be involved in it, the happier I seem to be. Because
when it's all over, I still have money, I have no debt, and I still
have a full-time, non-seasonal job. It would seem as though life is
better without Christmas.
Of course, I couldn't let this topic go
without pointing out that December 25th is not Yashua's birthday, and
there is no Biblical imperative to celebrate his birth (however, there
is still a Biblical imperative to keep Passover, Matzah, Firstfruits,
Kippurym, etc., because contrary to popular belief, these things
haven't been "done away"). I can also mention that December 25th was
Sol Invictus, a Roman festival celebrating the birthday of sun-gods,
Yule was the name of a Scandinavian solstice festival honoring the
thunder-god Thor, and that most of Christmas's traditions came from a
Roman festival named Saturnalia, which involved rowdy behavior and a
suspension of formal rules while people partied, exchanged presents,
got drunk, had gay sex, among other things that were later given a
Christian message by the "if-you-can't-beat-'em-join-em" Catholic
church.
I don't get too offended when someone attempts to force
it on me. It's easy enough to ignore them, and they just don't know
better.
Spending the holiday this year with the non-Jewish half of my extended family has been really, really great. We've eaten tons of food (they've been fabulous about omissions and substitutions: for breakfast, I got turkey bacon, cooked in a separate pan), played board games, and exchanged gifts. Nothing has been Jesus-based in the least; it's just a time to visit and spend time with people. :)
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