Religion & Beliefs
What Will Happen When Judaism Accepts Half-Jewish People?
By Robin Margolis / December 8, 2009
As the leader of the Half-Jewish Network, I always assume that I have all the answers on what half-Jewish people need. Why should I be any different from the all-knowing leaders of any other Jewish organization? The Half-Jewish Network may be "half-Jewish," but we faithfully follow the Jewish template in that respect!
But one of my group members brought me to a halt the other day. She asked: "What would acceptance of half-Jewish people by the Jewish community [in the Diaspora] actually look like?" I paused. I didn’t have an immediate, glib answer — yikes! Warning! Red alert! Loss of Jewish leadership position credibility imminent!
The phrase "a fate worse than death" suddenly leaped into my mind. I told her, "you’ll miss being discriminated against."
Because when the Jewish community finally accepts us — it will be a gradual process over the next thirty years — it will be a fate worse than death. Here is a satirical, tongue-in-cheek description of our likely fate, based on how interfaith couples and Jews by Choice (converts) program attendees are currently treated:
1. Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism will finally — finally! — assemble committees to address our issues, instead of claiming that the "raising Jewish children" programs for interfaith couples and half-Jewish kids under the age of 18 address the problems of fully-grown half-Jewish adults, most of whom weren’t raised Jewish.
The committees — chaired by born Jews who are not children of intermarriage, of course — what do we know about our own problems? surely a much-older born Jewish rabbi or social worker with two Jewish parents, married to a similar Jew, knows what is best for us — will produce pink or mauve pamphlets for us, entitled something icky like, "New Roads Into Judaism For Grown Offspring of Intermarriage." The Hebrew quoted in the pamphlets will be poorly translated into politically correct language. Yech.
The pamphlets will mostly be directed to the Reform and Reconstructionist hierarchies’ fears about us rather than the needs and issues of half-Jewish people. There will be sections in the pamphlets explaining to the Reform and Reconstructionist shul leaders that the two-thirds of us raised outside of Judaism are not feral half-Jews raised by the Borg on the planet Zembarth, and that our meek requests for "adult children of intermarriage discussion groups" might actually be good for shul growth.
The pamphlets will be available to Reform and Reconstructionist shuls and organizations for about $13.15 per twenty copies.
Finally, years after the first pamphlets are produced, it will dawn on the committees that they need to produce PDF copies and an online, media-linked version of the pamphlets on a denominational website, as the younger Jews, including the half-Jewish folks, live online. Eventually input will be invited from half-Jewish Reform and Reconstructionist people on the content of the pamphlets.
2. What’s left of the Conservative movement in 30 years — nearly one-third of their congregants are currently over the age of 65 — will produce a "Kiruv Efforts Directed Towards Adult Descendants of Intermarriage" white paper. A few children of intermarriage will be invited to appear before the committee producing the paper, but none of them will be invited to help in writing it. The white paper will contain instructions for Conservative congregations on how to outreach us, noting that they do not have to fear armed mobs of rioting half-Jewish people forcing their way into the sanctuary and eating pork at the after-service oneg.
The white paper will also address the Conservative hierarchy’s fear that if they do one single thing that the Orthodox do not like, like reaching out to half-Jewish people with Jewish fathers, no Orthodox person will ever speak to them again. The white paper will point out that most of the Orthodox aren’t speaking to them anymore anyway, so what do they have to lose at that point?
Only half of the Conservative movement will support the white paper. The Conservative movement men’s organization will push it strongly. Eventually, one of their halachic law committees will vote on it, with three rabbis in favor and three against, leaving Conservative congregations free to choose whether or not to continue discriminating against us.
This split decision will be marketed as a "big victory" for adult children of intermarriage.
3. Jewish Renewal will produce a "holy chevre" white paper on half-Jewish people in which the "holy sisters and brothers" will be admonished to "reach out more" to "our Jews of partially-Jewish descent." There will be a long, defensive and truthful preamble about how Renewal has always been welcoming to interfaith couples, and a transitional paragraph about how it has been brought to Renewal’s attention that maybe adult children and grandchildren of intermarriage do not feel Renewal’s love as much as interfaith couples do — and that it is time for Renewal to lay its holy love upon them. It will be emailed to each Renewal havurah and shul. At least one child of intermarriage will be on the committee that prepares the "chevre" paper and will have substantial input into its content. The "holy chevre" paper will have a ton of interesting quotations from Hasidic mystical works, none really relevant to adult children of intermarriage, and a pile of liberal-left social commentary on how we can best be converted to Renewal’s "eco-kosher" efforts.
3. Humanistic Judaism will eventually — and very reluctantly — produce some specialized outreach materials for us. Since their congregations generally accept us now, they will be highly indignant at the idea that we actually need specialized outreach like they provide for interfaith couples and Jews by Choice — sometimes one’s friends are the hardest people to convert to outreaching us.
The welcoming pamphlet prepared for us will have lots of quotes from their innovative founding rabbi, Sherwin Wine, zl" and assurances that Humanistic Judaism will accept even chickens as real Jews if the chicken can spell out a commitment with seed corn and firmly commit to a disbelief in G-d.
4. The Modern Orthodox — years after the other groups have acted, of course — will produce an article in one of their scholarly journals, entitled, "The Halachic Implications of Possibly Welcoming Jews of Mixed Descent, Even Those With Only Paternal Jewish Grandfathers."
It will be ten pages long, filled with footnotes citing mentions of us in the Talmud and Josephus, will refer to those of us who are patrilineal as "zerua Israel" (seed of Israel) and "possible Noachides" and will be authored by a grandchild of intermarriage who has had to undergo at least four Orthodox conversions to satisfy Israeli Haredi Orthodox authorities.
The article will conclude that we should be welcomed and will create an unusual Hebrew term for us to disguise the fact that many of us are not halachic Jews, such as "[X] Jew," the same way that they currently hide their women rabbis as "halachic advisers" of various types under newly-invented Hebrew titles.
An immense controversy will break out in the Orthodox blogosphere. A few very bold, daring Modern Orthodox communities will act on the paper’s recommendations and all members of those shuls will be blacklisted by the Israeli ultra-Orthodox.
6. Ultra-Orthodox Groups — some of the ultra-Orthodox outreach groups, which receive a lot of membership and donations from non-Orthodox Jews — both baal teshuvah and occasional visitors — will decide that we are worth some targeted kiruv work. After all, we’re going to be the majority of non-Orthodox American Jews in the year 2040 — the old secular Jewish baal teshuvah and donor base will be almost gone by then.
Special programs will be set up to bring us to U.S. and Israeli yeshivot. Books will be written on "Torah Observance for Seed of Israel and Noachides Produced by Mixed Marriages." I will, b’ezrat Hashem (by the help of G-d) live to see — a faction of Chabad with a large component of half-Jewish people! Classes at Aish ha-Torah recruiting us! And you know something? I’ll be very happy to see it.
7. Inclusivist Judaism Coalition — I almost forgot — what about my own organization? Well, we already accept half-Jewish members as Jews upon arrival, and do targeted outreach to half-Jewish people through our sponsorship of the Half-Jewish Network — think of us as thirty years ahead of the curve.
8. Secular Jewish Organizations — may G-d protect and spare the half-Jewish folks when the secular Jewish organizations finally stop snubbing and ignoring us. The same barrage of propaganda directed at young Jews with two Jewish parents today — join AIPAC! Join J Street! Join Jewish Voices for Peace! Join Hadassah! Join [any Jewish establishment or anti-establishment group]! — will descend upon us.
My email box will jam with inquiries on how every secular Jewish group in the universe can raise money from half-Jewish people. They will then ask how they might attract us as members. The requests for money will come first. Jewish sociologists will suddenly begin studying half-Jewish people. Like, more than two studies, with more than 100 participants. Jewish historians will suddenly start researching our appearances in Jewish history — us, not the interfaith couples and converts — in more than just three or four books. At last!
Jewish philanthropists — the ones that Bernard Madoff did not reach, so they still have some cash — will want to fund "half-Jewish 2.0 projects." They will be bewildered and disturbed when I explain that because we’ve been shut out of Judaism or pushed to the fringes for so many years, many half-Jewish folks have very old-fashioned interests: shul membership, learning Hebrew, liturgy, Jewish history, Yiddish and Ladino literature translated into English, etc.
We have online support groups that cost very little to run. We would welcome some cash to support these efforts. We’d be grateful for it. The philanthropists will be horrified to hear that we don’t need expensive after-shul "1/2 Jewish bar nights" on Shabbat or "1/2 Jew Suffering and Gratification" e-zines.
Unlike many young Jews with two Jewish parents, we actually like old timey Judaism. We didn’t grow up with it, so it doesn’t bore us. We’re "cheaper dates" than the young Jews with two Jewish parents. And we don’t have a generation gap amongst ourselves — half-Jewish folks will generally talk with any other half-Jewish or Jewish person, regardless of age or background. We may not get any grant money to outreach us — our situation goes against the current philanthropic model of estrangement between older Jews and younger Jews, with older Jews lavishing no-strings cash on 20something Jewish 2.0 outreach efforts, followed by the younger Jews mercilessly mocking the grant donors in the web pages of their newly-established 2.0 groups.
Many Jewish philanthropists and foundations will simply not be able to make the transition to funding the lower-maintenance, grateful half-Jewish groups. It will feel too unfamiliar to them.
9. Jewish outreach groups — half-Jewish people will become an "outreach demographic." Workshops will be held at outreach conferences on "Best Ways to Reach the Half-Jewish Population." Outreach groups will create multiple web pages on "Outreaching Half-Jewish People: Our Untapped Asset," treating us kind of like a hopeful investment on oil-containing shale deposits.
The stingy amounts of money given to Jewish outreach groups by the Jewish federations (less than 1% of most Jewish federations’ budgets — despite all of the complaints about intermarriage!) will be extended to outreach us using the following rationale: since we are running out of oil wells (born Jews with two Jewish parents), we will try and squeeze oil (Jewish continuity) out of half-Jewish shale deposits.
Pamphlets, papers, videos, books, CDs, DVDs, websites, and every other media item in the outreach armory will suddenly include detailed information on outreaching adult children and grandchildren of intermarriage — information that is conspicuously missing from 99.9% of all Jewish outreach materials today. Finally! We’ll even be included in the endless discussions on Jewish outreach listservs and message boards about whether to give interfaith couples discounts on shul membership this year. They will finally offer us discounted shul memberships.
10. Israel — Thirty years from now the ultra-Orthodox Haredi groups and the Palestinian Arabs will be the two largest population groups in Israel, and will likely be engaged in a ferocious street-to-street civil war. Other Israeli groups — chilonim (seculars), Modern Orthodox, Bedouin Arabs, etc. — will have either joined the Holy War on one side or the other or be fleeing the country.
I anticipate that the Israel Defence Forces (IDF) — newly renamed the "Nahal Haredi Brigades" — will make an effort to recruit adult half-Jewish people who can prove that they have a biological Jewish mother or a maternal Jewish grandmother. Children of Jewish fathers or paternal Jewish grandfathers will be accepted in the new "Nahal Haredi Brigades" upon promising to undergo a rigorous ultra-Orthodox conversion process lasting 10 years — after the war is over — conditional upon the ultra-Orthodox "Halachic Republic of Israel" actually winning the war, and not the Palestinian state. If they are killed in battle, they will still be buried in the special sections of IDF cemeteries that are currently set aside for "non-Jews" — the patrilineal half-Jews, Bedouin, and Druze IDF soldiers. Some of the children of Jewish-Arab intermarriages will be members of the "Nahal Haredi Brigades." Others will be fighting on the Palestinian side as members of a "Half-Jewish Martyrs for Palestine Regiment."
If the Halachic Republic of Israel loses the war, the half-Jewish people serving in the Haredi Brigades will end up entering the U.S. as refugees and joining the hundreds of new Israeli Jewish synagogues and organizations starting all over the United States.
So half-Jewish people will finally achieve acceptance in every sector of the Jewish world.
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There’s to be a rally in San Francisco Union Square January 10 2010 against Haredi influence/control of Israel cutlure and legal system.
Rabbis and congregants Bay Area-wide…
I don’t have full details yet, but watch http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/Â which I publish… use the search box WITHIN the site to search for ‘January 10.’
Thank you for your earlier information… pat
Pat,
Unfortunately, the Reform movement is not consistant on accepting patrilineals as full Jews. In many temples, they only consider a patrilineal descendant as Jewish if they were raised Jewish. That has left many of us out in the cold.
I belonged to a Reform temple for several years and was accepted fully as being Jewish. However, when I moved to another city, I couldn’t find a Reform temple that would consider me Jewish without a conversion because I was raised Christian. Even though I had been a very active member of my previous temple, they were still bothered by the religion I studied 25 years ago.
Also, I’ve heard many matrilineal descendants state that Reform rabbis told them they would have to convert if they weren’t raised Jewish.Â
It sounds like you have a very open-minded temple. I wish there were more like that.
Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, reform, holds that the only reason maternal descent was first required is because it was clearer proof that the child was a Jew.Â
It offered more certainty than a man’s simple declaration that a child was his.
Times and interpreation have moved to accepting paternal descent children as full Jews, Emanu-El holds.
I may be wrong, but I understood that most reform congregations hold the same view.
San Francisco is cold and it’s damp but it’s worth it.
rebmoshe
So many Jews are unaware of the concept of b’nai Noah. I can’t go into all the details but it creates what is called a ger-toshav- not a full Jewish citizen, b’nai yisrael, but it offers a "green card".Â
According to Rabbinc tradition any person who observes the seven mitzvot of the covenant of Noah [derived and established by interpretation of the paragraph in the Torah that talks of the covenant God makes with Noah,] is a righteous person. Jews are not exclusivist in the sense that we don’t see our way as the only way.
This "seven fold path" is simple but not easy. It insures civilizational norms. It will prevent the world from being destroyed again because of human behavior.
People who follow this path are referred to a "yirei hashem"-God feaers. They ahve always been part of the Jewish communtiy. The Psalms praise them.
The mitvot are:
Do not murder.
Do not steal.
Do not serve idols.
Do not blaspheme.
Do not engage in illicit sexuality
Do not treat animals in an inhumane way.
Established courts of justice to enforce these minimum efforts to maintain civilization.
We are still very far away from achieving these goals.
It is funny, as a dynamic – I have a very WASPy last name, so nobody assumes I’m Jewish. Because I’m of matrilineal descent, the Orthodox and Chabad people accept me as a Jew, but they often comment on the travesty of intermarriage, or say it is "terrible" that my parents were intermarried, or they ask me point blank, "How do you know you’re Jewish?" – as if I hatched out of an egg and don’t know who my own relatives were, or as if anyone would bother to be delusional in trumping up Jewish ancestry, especially here in the U.S. – what would be the point? Like I imagined it? But maybe they are interested to know if I can meet the pedigree standards of the Israeli government. It’s a baffler, where that line of questioning comes from. Meanwhile, in the Reform community, I am not Jewish at all – a Reform rabbi even told me, "You’re not really Jewish."
At the end of the day, we are the ones who have to make the choice to live and identify as Jews, and to decide what that means, because we can’t rely on the opinions or certifications or approvals of others. For me, anyway, that’s what Inclusivist Judaism is all about – creating a space where we agree to respect one another’s decisions with regard to religion and identity.
As for the "half" Jewish thing – it is not, from my perspective, about being "half" religiously Jewish and half some other religion – but instead it is about acknowledging the cultural influence of the non-Jewish parent in our lives, and respecting that parent’s contribution to who we are, and learning from and valuing that parent’s heritage – rather than denying it or hiding it out of some ethnocentric, misguided sense of shame over not being Jewish Enough. Eh?
As Rabbi Hillel said, what is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the whole of Torah, the rest is commentary.
Tuckerton, that is very true. I like the term "under-cover Jew." I’ve heard patrilineal descendants describe their status of having a Jewish name while not being considered Jewish as having a "fake ID." Gotta laugh at this stuff! But we’ll be okay. We know we’re Jewish, and that’s what really counts.
Tuckerton,
Zbird is right on track that it’s denomination-based Judaism at work. I’m a patrilineal descendant. Many patrilineals are not considered Jewish; however, many have a very Jewish-sounding last name. We’re not considered Jewish by the Orthodox or the Conservatives. We’re only considered Jewish by the Reform and Recon if raised Jewish.  Many patrilineals have been the target of hate crimes based on that Jewish-sounding last name, while at the same time, being shut out of the Jewish community because we’re not "Jewish by Jewish law."
And so it goes. . . .
..that the orthodox would be more accepting to you. The orthodox define themselves by their observance of halachah and actually believing in the Torah. So it makes sense that they wouldn’t care about your ancestry as long as you’re halachically Jewish (meaning that if your father had been Jewish and mother Catholic, things would be completely different). Â
 In my experience, the Reform and Conservative movements, whatever the movements’ "official" positions may be, are mainly populated by agnostics with some undefined ethno/cultural identity that makes them want to congregate. So to me it seems natural that they’d wonder why a guy named "Tuckerton" would be interested in participating. Â
–Z
First time posting on here  -Â
These threads regarding "half-jews" is interesting…I was raised Jewish, by a Jewish mother & Catholic father. Â I don’t consider myself "half" anything. Â According to halacha, I am Jewish, just as much as anyone else born with a Jewish mother. Â I don’t consider myself "half-Catholic" either ..(how can one be "half" of a religion, anyway??_)
 Also, some of the posts on here & the other thread struck a chord with me, as I have a distinctly non-Jewish surname.  There have been many times I’ve gone into a synogogue, or other Jewish function, and stated my name, and have gotten this wierd look , like "are you really jewish".  I’ve actually been asked that four or five times…."did you convert??"  ummm, no…  It really makes me uncomfortable, and has turned me off of more than one Jewish group.  That’s probably the main reason I became more and more distant from Judaism in my post-teenage years. Â
 I have since, within the past year or two, started becoming more observant.  However, I’ve found the same old prejudices remain!!!  But, I’ve personally experienced more openness, friendliness from Orthodox groups, as opposed to Reform & Conservative groups.  That’s what I’ve personally encountered.
-Just my 2 cents…Â
Holy_Half_Breed, I’m sure you’ll make a great "mouser" anywhere as a feral half-Jew! I like your terminology.
Susan, thanks for further clarifying. It sounds like you’re creating a place for inter-faith families to self-identify with a spiritual duality or multiplicity or nothing. A non-judgemental environment, which I’m sure many inter-faith families find comfortable. Not for me, but if it works for you and others, that’s good. I’m just glad you’re not a Messianic group.Â
Robin–
A sincere thanks for defending my perspective! You do understand my perspective (while agreeing to disagree, as I have said, which is fine). I will try to respond to your longer response later, but I like Holy Halfbreed’s analysis.
DC–I often describe what interfaith communities like mine are doing as the OPPOSITE of Messianic Judaism. We do not have any dogma or creed, they have a fundamentalist perspecive. We are filled with secularists, atheists, agnostics, Jews who are uncomfortable with the idea of Jesus, Christians who do not believe in a personal savior or original sin or physical resurrection. Oh, and some more traditional Jews and Christians. But we do not teach our children what to think, we only explain to them the traditional Jewish and Christian teachings. So I’m not out to "convert" anyone, not even my own kids.
But you are right to be wary, because Messianic Jews are in fact targeting "lost" interfaith families….
Susan Katz Miller
http://onbeingboth.com/
As a feral, alley-cat half-Jewish person, I can promise that if taken in, I will make an excellent mouser!
The above debate has been going on for a while, I take it. And I think it represents two very different sets of issues.
On the one hand, those of us who are Halfies and choose to identify as Jews and practice Judaism (albeit in, perhaps, a liberal form) face roadblocks directly from the Jewish community. As I see it, this is what Robin is actively working to change, and has dedicated literally decades of her life to addressing.
On the other hand, what Susan espouses is the freedom to choose a mixed identity, to practice both faiths, to keep them intellectually but not spiritually separate, to derive inspiration from multiple sources. If that works for people who learn about Judaism and Christianity together, that’s their business. As Susan has suggested elsewhere, there is nothing particularly more shocking about taking lessons from both Jewish & Christian teachings than there is combining Jewish and Buddhist practices, for example. My understanding of her perspective is that it’s about what is spiritually nourishing, but that may be a personal projection (please correct me if I’m wrong, Susan) based on my own opinion that religion and/or religious technologies are a means to an end, not an end in themselves. Many cultures around the world have experienced revelation, God is not Jewish, and I don’t think God feels threatened if we learn ways to hear Him from many perspectives.
Despite a superficial conflict, it seems to me you are both talking about very different areas of interest and concern.
As Rabbi Hillel said, what is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the whole of Torah, the rest is commentary.
Thanks for the explanation, Robin.
Susan, I kind of understand what you and others are doing in regards to interfaith groups.  I apologize for misunderstanding what you do and understand that you are not affiliated with a Messianic Jewish organization. You may want to clarify this yourself, as there are some similarities.
Also, as someone who is seeking to identify as a Jew, I’ve found that the "inter-faith organizations" are trying to take half-Jewish people away from the Jewish community instead of dealing with the hard realities of fighting for the rights of the half-Jewish.
Susan,
You have a group of interfaith families raising children, but when I looked into your Interfaith Families Project (iffp.net), I found the New Testament in several of your services. Here’s a link to one of your services: http://www.iffp.net/documents/Programs/Cultivating%20the%20Capacity%20for%20Joy10-07.pdf. Are you a Messianic Jew? I have no judgements as to how people practice religion, but I’m very concerned about Messianic Jews coming into Jewish websites and recruiting them. In November, you sent me a private message asking me to visit your group, so I’m not at all comfortable with your organization and how you covertly operate. Messianic Jews are targeting patrilineal descendants, so you’re not the first one to send a "private message" inviting me to attend a service.
I can see why you’re going after Robin. She openly asked me to check out her organization and study Judaism. She’s advocating that patrilineals should be considered Jewish by the Jewish establishment, which I know is difficult, especially since she’s becoming a rabbi. We need more Robins in the Jewish community who will stand up for us and NOT send us into Messianic groups.
Dear Susan:
This is the third time that you have attacked one of my Jewcy postings, and cast aspersions on my work for adult children of intermarriage.
I generally try not to attack other advocates for adult children of intermarriage, even if I seriously disagree with their perspectives. We have enough people opposed to our inclusion within the Jewish world without fighting among ourselves.
But it appears that you really want me to respond, since you’ve done this three times, using nearly the same language and the same criticisms each time, so here are my thoughts about your position and your work. You’ve been very candid about your opinion of me and my work.
1. You’ve repeatedly stated that I don’t represent all adult children of intermarriage. In particular, you’ve stated that I don’t represent you personally and your viewpoint favoring raising children of intermarriage as "both" in "interfaith communities."
Well, if you want to be recognized as a leader of adult children of intermarriage — be my guest. Start an organization for them. Specifically, start one for half-Jewish people who share your viewpoint. If you want to be recognized as a leader and an authority on this issue, that’s the fastest way to become one.
But until then, don’t complain that I don’t represent you personally. I have interviewed hundreds, soon to be thousands, of adult children and other descendants of intermarriage over a period of over 24 years from all over the globe. Almost none of them share your position. In my entire time as an advocate for adult children of intermarriage, I have had perhaps five — maybe 10 — adult children of intermarriage approach me who shared your viewpoint.
The Half-Jewish Network message board has been open to adult descendants of intermarriage from all over the world, 24/7, 365 days per year, since 2005. The posters don’t hesitate to argue among themselves or disagree with me whenever they wish. And we’ve had almost no postings advocating your viewpoint.
But you can always prove me wrong. Start an organization for children of intermarriage focused on your viewpoint, and see how many join you! If I’m wrong, and there are lots of half-Jewish people who want to live as adults in interfaith communities practicing both Judaism and Christianity, it will become evident very quickly.
But until then, I must decline to represent your point of view — I don’t share it, and, based on over two decades of experience, I don’t think your views are shared by the majority of adult children of intermarriage. I don’t even think there is large minority of them who share that view.
2.You state that you are "fulfilled and liberated by my existence ‘on the fringe.’ " I am pleased for your sake, but that is not the perspective of the hundreds of adult children and grandchildren of intermarriage who have contacted me.
Many of them are in great pain at the repeated rejections that they have received within the Jewish community. I have received hundreds of pain-filled emails — beyond the hundreds of distressed emails on the Half-Jewish Network message board.
So your position is not that of the majority. I’m not going to write articles and say, "we have major problems with the way that the Jewish community treats us, except for Susan Katz-Miller, who is happy living on the fringe in a dual faith community."
3. Each time you criticize me and my work, you mention the fact that you were raised as a Reform Jew, and emphasize your Jewish upbringing.
Good. I have a task connected with Reform Judaism that I need help with. When your comment popped up, I was in the middle of writing (for the third time) an email to the Reform Judaism hierarchy, asking for outreach to adult children of intermarriage.
They have outreach to disabled Jews and outreach to GLBTQ Jews. I think it is time that they add adult children of intermarriage to their outreach policies. My previous inquiries to Reform have been ignored. This is the third Reform outreach official that I have contacted.
Shouldn’t you be writing this email rather than me? I was raised Episcopalian and entered my Jewish mother’s culture as an adult. You would be much better at writing this letter than I would. You have actually lived in the Reform Jewish culture. But that brings us to another statement you have made:
"My issue is that I refuse to continue to define myself as a partial
Jew, or a Jew looking for acceptance, rather than a whole person who
has a right to the Christian half that my parent was forced to
sublimate.Â
I know why that is bewildering and disturbing to many Jews, which is
why I am not wasting time trying to explain myself to Jewish outreach
workers."
Well, leaves me on the hook, doesn’t it? I get to write Reform Judaism, for the third time, pleading for special outreach to adult children of intermarriage, a letter that you could probably have written much better than I have.
And as a bonus, I get to deal with the flak from Jewish outreach workers about the Episcopalian Christian half that you and I share. And I get to explain it to them, since you won’t.
I wouldn’t call that a fair deal.
You can’t complain from the sidelines that I’m not representing your views if you won’t speak up and enter the controversy.
In conclusion I would suggest that if you want to be represented on this issue, as a spokesperson for a significant number of adult children and other descendants of intermarriage — at least 500 –Â who wish to live in dual faith communities as adults and practice "both," then you need to consider:
1. starting an organization for them;
2. writing a book for them;
3. interacting with the Jewish community on their behalf, including the outreach movement;
4. writing letters to Reform Jewish outreach officials about better outreach to us; and, if you feel like it,
5. consider becoming an interfaith minister, a rabbi or a priest. The adult children of intermarriage have enormous problems obtaining pastoral services, especially in the Jewish community.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish that email to the Reform Judaism outreach official.
Sincerely,
Robin Margolis
http://www.half-jewish.net
http://www.inclusivistjudaism.wordpress.com
Funny, but yeah, well, not a pretty picture. So some of us "half-Jews" are not waiting around for all this to happen. All over the country, we have joined interfaith communities. And others have joined inclusive independent Jewish communities (which existed long before an official "Inclusivist" movement).Â
I know this is a satirical piece, but once again, I have to point out the tendency to generalize and presume to speak for all interfaith children. Robin writes "They will be bewildered and disturbed when I explain
that because we’ve been shut out of Judaism or pushed to the
fringes for so many years, many half-Jewish folks have very
old-fashioned interests: shul membership, learning Hebrew, liturgy…Unlike
many young Jews with two Jewish parents, we actually like old timey
Judaism. We didn’t grow up with it, so it doesn’t bore us."
 First of all, that’s simply not true for a third of us, according to this same post. I, and many other half-Jews, grew up with temple membership, learned Hebrew, etc. Some of us are bored by it, others (including me) love it. These are not my issues as a "half-Jew." My issue is that I refuse to continue to define myself as a partial Jew, or a Jew looking for acceptance, rather than a whole person who has a right to the Christian half that my parent was forced to sublimate.Â
I know why that is bewildering and disturbing to many Jews, which is why I am not wasting time trying to explain myself to Jewish outreach workers. I am fulfilled and liberated by my existence "on the fringe." Unless Robin now defines herself as a Jewish outreach worker, in which case I guess I am spending time trying to explain myself in this comment. As a Rabbinical student, perhaps it is hard not to take on the Jewish outreach mission. But Jewish outreach to interfaith adults is not synonymous with meeting the spiritual and religious needs of interfaith adults.Â
On the other hand, why would anyone be bewildered or disturbed by a desire for old-timey Judaism? Of course, that’s exactly the kind of "outreach education" funders want to fund, so I guess this post may work as a plea for funding.
Susan Katz Miller
http://onbeingboth.com/
Dear DCshepherd:
I am glad that you found my satire amusing!
I can assure all feral half-Jewish people that the Inclusivist Judaism Coalition will gladly welcome them.<internet grin>
Here are some of our current ideas on how to do so — we are still working on them, but these are our first thoughts:
http://inclusivistjudaism.wordpress.com/who-is-a-jew/
 We hope to arrange "welcoming ceremonies" for those half-Jewish people who were raised in other faiths, and now wish to live as Jews.
Instead of conversion with a mikveh, we are considering a document-signing "welcome back to Judaism" ceremony, with three witnesses and a rabbi. The person would sign a document, which would also be signed by the rabbi and three witnesses, acknowledging that they identify as a Jew, have Jewish ancestry, and stating that they are now planning to live as a Jew.
It is our understanding that there is historical precedent for this, based on ceremonies welcoming Jews with two Jewish parents back to Judaism in other eras who had been raised in other faiths or had converted to other faiths.We think this can be extended to half-Jewish people.
 In addition to a "return to Judaism" document, we also hope to assist them in preparing documentation of their Jewish ancestry, that they will be able to retain in case their Judaism is questioned in the future.
We consider partly-Jewish people to be Jews if that is how they identify themselves, and will only perform full conversion ceremonies with mikveh (ritual bath), etc. if an individual so desires. Otherwise, we will just do a welcoming ceremony. We hope to make the welcoming ceremonies very celebratory.
We plan to confine the bulk of their Jewish studies to the period after the half-Jewish person is formally welcomed back into Judaism. We believe that the important thing is to formally recognize their Jewish identity right away.
Current conversion ceremonies for half-Jewish people imply that their Jewish parent or Jewish ancestry is meaningless, and until they go through the conversion process, they are "not Jewish."
Our "welcoming" ceremonies will recognize that half-Jewish person is Jewish from the "git-go," and serve as a formal and official recognition of that fact.
We know that being welcomed will be very hard for many half-Jewish people to adapt to, after years in less-than-welcoming Jewish settings, but we’ll try to make it as easy as possible.<internet grin>
 Very cordially,
Robin Margolis
http://www.half-jewish.net
http://www.inclusivistjudaism.wordpress.com
Robin,
This is a great piece of satire that says so much! Of course, you know the Jewish establishment will never get it. Well, they may spend $8 million dollars making anti-intermarriage propaganda videos–oh, wait–they already did that! And possibly consider us feral half-Jews as something they can tame and transform into real Jews by offering many, many hours of hypnotic conversion programs–wait, they’ve done that, too.
Wait a minute. Did you say Inclusivist Judaism accepts patrilineals as Jewish? I wasn’t raised Jewish. No one told me I could be Jewish. Do you mean I get to think for myself? Okay, that’s a new approach. Seriously, my own thoughts actually mean something? I don’t have to grovel at the feet of a rabbi who thinks he’s doing me a favor by forcing me to convert before I pay thousands of dollars a year to belong to his synagogue?
Wow! Tell this feral half-Jew some more about this approach of getting to think for myself. I’m a real Jew, I’m a real Jew. . .
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