Religion & Beliefs
Real Talk Parsha: Lech Lecha
By MaNishtana / October 29, 2009
Look, yeah, I get it. Abraham, Isaac, Moses–all of them were much better people morally and spiritually than we are. But sometimes, they do things and its like, "Oh yeah. He’s a dude." Like this week, for instance. Sarah isn’t having kids, so she offers Abraham her maidservant, Hagar. One-Sarah is an awesome wife. Two-Yeah, Abraham’s definitely a guy. I mean, who’s really gonna say "no" to bringing in another chick? Did Sarah even get to finish the sentence?
Sarah: Look Abe, I’m not getting you any kids, so maybe you should take Hag–
Abraham: Done.
Like, no joke. This is a dude who talks to Gd, like, ALL the time asking about stuff. Am I gonna have a son? What does my descendants future look like? Should I listen to Sarah and send my son away?
But this?
Sarah makes the proposition in one verse, and in literally the next verse Abraham says yes. Not a pause, doesn’t even break a sweat. But when Gd says, say, "I want you to circumcise yourself", Abraham heads over to his giant buddies Aner, Eshkol, and Mamre to get advice. Which was probably a very interesting conversation:
Aner: He wants you to do what?
Abraham: Yeah, G-d wants me to circumcise myself.
Eshkol: Seriously?
Abraham: Yup.
Mamre: Well, it’s G-d and all, so I guess you should do it…But circumcise yourself? Have you seen what happens when people cut their own hair?
So yeah, pretty selective, that sly Abraham, on what does and doesn’t need a second opinion. But well played, sir, on the handmaiden scenario. This is for you.
[slow clap]
Also, apologies to Jim Gaffigan.
[Disclaimer: Please, do not expect "Real Talk" to make actual Biblical sense. If you are looking for a legitimate commentary of meaning and substance, this ain't the place. It's less "Onkelos" and more "Onion", get me?]
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This seems more of a place where people do not respect God but rather belittle the biblical people. What an intelligent disclaimer. Practice what you preach if you believe in God do not disrespect him. Be careful in your ways so that your words will make you look intelligent and great in the eyes of God!Â
You are right. I did not know that that was the intention however. It still was disrespectful. We would if one was to see how God communicated with people today we would be careful to deem them what they were or was deemed. Now, in the case of back then one might see why they were told they used demons to cast out demons. as of today all the movies and the way they depict with much imagination and disrespect for things they not know of is high. I say be careful how real talk is. Be peaceful and respectful to God Almighty. Because God is a serious being.Â
…so obviously we know this isn’t how things went down. the purpose of this piece [and ALL the "real talks"] is to illustrate exactly how much greater than ourselves the personages of the torah were, b/c we wouldnt have reacted to the same situations they were put in with half the loftiness, mindset or holy intentions which informed their actions. now, with that in mind, lets have a laugh or two.
is this respect for God? This is immature talk of people who know nothing of what they say. How disrespectful . I say you have sinned with the wisdomless conversation that when I read this I feel like I’m being disrespectful.Â
It is not what goes into your mouth that makes you dirty..
It’s what comes out of it thats makes your mouth dirty and also makes you look horrible in the eyes of God.
but he was "abram" when he got it on with hagar. though he was prolly still a dude either way. lol.
Your midrash is timely informative and entertaining. Please keep up the good work.
Did Abraham get it on with Hagar before or after G-d changed his name?
I forget. Was he a "dude" regardless of the name change? Just a question.
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