Religion & Beliefs
Multiple Spirituality Disorder
By Meredith Gould / November 12, 2009
Given the option, I write in "multiple spirituality disorder" whenever asked to declare my religion. I started doing this once I noticed how checking "Catholic" would obliterate first checking "Jewish." I also noticed that if I checked "Christian," "Catholic" would disappear which, at times, is fine with me. Other times, it is not.
Multiple spirituality disorder? Makes for a good laugh and some great conversation, but it’s probably more accurate to say my cultural identity is Jewish, although my religious practice clearly is not. In this regard, I’m not all that different from Jews who embrace Jewish culture while rejecting Jewish religious practices. Okay, what’s different, of course, is that Jesus as Christ thing.
But why Catholic?
Want to take an educated guess at how many times I get asked about my choice of preferred provider for worship? It’s an excellent question, especially given the Roman church’s long, despicable history of anti-Judaism and anti-Semitism.* I could do without how the question is usually posed.
To her everlasting credit, my mother, a retired Judaica editor, has always been intellectually curious about my journey. And because of the content and tone of her questions, I’ve been able to respond rather than react. I mention this because, in general, the vibe coming at me is not conducive to anything that might approximate dialogue. We do want dialogue, right?
I’m thinking specifically of someone at an Episcopal church who after asking if I was a priest, physically recoiled when I copped to being Roman Catholic. I’ve been asked if I’m stupid or crazy, usually by Cradle Catholics and other Jews. Depending on who pops the question, I’ll take it as an opportunity to point out how one cannot become a lapsed Catholic without first becoming Catholic. My more reasoned responses are designed to generate a conversation about similarities rather than differences. We do want conversations, right?
To be clear: the Roman Catholic church breaks my heart and flips my stomach on a regular basis. I’m told my angst is normal.
"Wait, let me guess," said one dear Cradle Catholic friend the nanosecond she heard my voice, "you’re hating the Catholic church, right?"
I whimpered. She laughed.
"Nothing is wrong with feeling crappy about being Catholic," she said. "If you had gone to parochial school, you would’ve learned that by first freaking grade. Being Catholic generates lots of cognitive dissonance. We’re a religion of the heart but because we don’t talk about it that way, people think we’re jerks and assholes." How comforting.
So, why Catholic? Because believing Jesus is Christ narrowed my worship options. [Listen up: I am not at all interested in persuading any other Jew that Jesus is Christ, even though many Christians would say that's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.]
As a consequence of time and place, I opted for Roman Catholicism, one of the two unbroken, albeit flawed lines emerging directly from Temple Judaism. I opted for Catholicism because the central action of worship involves "coming to the table." I opted for Catholicism because the structure of liturgy is familiar, as are many of the home-based customs and traditions.
Now that I’m there, I’m deeply committed to all Christians (not just Catholics) understanding their Jewish heritage — and significantly upgrading the food at church suppers.
* Anti-Judaism: hatred of the Jewish religion. Anti-Semitism: hatred of Jews as an ethnic-racial group.
POST A COMMENT
Ike,
I am not and have never claimed to be practicing Judaism and Christianity at the same time. I’m simply saying that I’m Jewish (albeit more of a 1st century version) whose faith is Christian and whose religious practice is (for now) Catholic Christianity. And I’m simply asking that we stop annihilating one another; others are far too eager to do so.
http://meredithgould.blogspot.com
Brookelynn,
"Every Jew agrees…"Â Can’t even imagine, can you?
For the record: I do NOT worship Jesus.
http://meredithgould.blogspot.com
Dear Yonah,
I appreciate your respectful, intelligent comments and citing Psalm 121.Â
We happen to be in complete agreement about many of the issues you raise. Ironically (?), just this morning I had an email exchange w/an Anglican priest trying to explain how stories in the Acts of the Apostles look like a whole lot of proof-texting when viewed through Jewish eyes. Among the gospels, I find John the most anti-Semitic and do I have a story to tell about being assigned to read parts from it for the Good Friday Mass.Â
As I hope you can tell, I’m not especially interested in the nicey-nice parallel play that currently passes for Christian-Jewish dialogue. I much prefer that we grapple with the issues that divide us with generosity and compassion for, as you note, "the emotions and confusions of our lives and the history that came before us."
http://meredithgould.blogspot.com
I am saying you cannot practice Judaism and Christianity at the same time. There is hardly anything you wrote, Yonah, that I disagree with.
Yonah- Your post just reminded me of something:Â Every single Jew on the face of the earth will be in agreement as to who the Messiah is, when he makes his appearance.
It must be very difficult to come to terms with Meredith’s decision to worship Jesus if you believe that every (RNA genetically certified &Â recognized-by-Israel) Jew must be in agreement with each other.
Hello Meredith,
    I’m certainly more old school than most of the reactions that you have received here on Jewcy. We want conversation, right? Conversation need not begin with honesty, but certainly shouldn’t stop short of honesty.
    First: hats off to you. "I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains from where cometh my help." (Psalm 121) You have lifted your eyes searching the heavens for a connection with the divine and this is something that many have despaired of.
   Second: the difference between Messiah and Christ. Recently (fifteen years is recent to me) with the death of the Lubavitcher Rebbe the idea of a dead Messiah (who of course is living in the minds of the believers) has resurfaced among the faithful believers in Torah. About 200 years ago the Bratzlaver Rebbe, (aka Reb Nachman) departed this world and left an empty chair. So this is not the first time that a dead Rebbe has been seen as the Messiah. But the Jewish concept of Messiah does not include the only begotten son of God, who existed before creation in some kind of existence independent of the Father. Even Islam, which does not consider Jesus as human but rather as an angel, maintains its monotheism by considering Jesus a creation of the singular creator and not some type of independent part of the Godhead.
   Third, the New Testament is an obstacle. Even if we get beyond the question of the divinity of anything other than the single Creator, we Jews are left with the New Testament as an obstacle. It is not just the history of Catholicism that is antiSemitic, but the actual four gospels as well. The simplest way to clarify this is to rate the gospels in order from least antiSemitic to most. The least antiSemitic is Luke, where Jesus is warned by one of the Pharisees that the Herodians are out to kill him and also where he promises the thief (zealot, terrorist, freedom fighter) being crucified by his side that he will meet him in Heaven. Mark is in between and the award for worst gospel is a tie between Matthew with its infamous: "his blood be on us and on our children" and John with its disparaging references to Jews rather than to Pharisees.
    Fellow humans and believers in the Biblical tradition have much to learn from each other in our short time here on this planet trying to make sense of it all and trying to deal with the emotions and confusions of our lives and the history that came before us and that hopefully stretches way beyond us. I hope honesty will help rather than hinder a true conversation.Â
Sincerely
Yonah Fredman (aka yonahred)
Believe it or not, Dylan and I are sort of from the same generation. Our relative clarity on matters might reflect a sort of difference in drug usage during the 60s & 70s.
http://meredithgould.blogspot.com
Even though it’s about Christmas, I still think it might be a little more Jewish than Mariah Carey’s Christmas album. :)
How lucky you are to have so many Jewish folks in your family. As a big fan of his songwriting, I wish Dylan the clarity of thought/belief that you have, Meredith. If his most recent incoherent ramblings are any indicator, I’m slightly worried for him.
Probably with: thank you. Always appreciate it when people take the time to comment on my stuff and then get into it with one another.
Brooke: Of my two cats, it soon became clear that Thelma (tabby) was Jewish and Louise (calico) was a shiksa. Don’t ask me how I knew. A mother knows these things. BTW, I heard the same rumor about Irving Berlin.
Ike: Everyone…both sides of the family…Jewish, rabbis even. I know that I’m Jewish and I’m also a baptized Christian. What I don’t seem to get be able to convey is the distinction between cultural (think: ethnic) identity and religious practice. To you it’s "much ado about nothing." Meanwhile, I’m running into other Jews who go ape-shit crazy if and when I invoke/display any type of yiddishkeit. A manuscript reviewer (Jewish) was over-the-moon infuriated that I used any yiddish expressions in my book and flagged references to food and my mother as anti-Semitic. Really, I can’t make this carp up.
http://meredithgould.blogspot.com
As a Christian whether or not you are doomed for eternity has to do solely with your faith in Jesus. It’s critical that you aren’t perceived as being "on the fence" when your time is up.
I’ve heard from reliable sources that Irving Berlin was forced to write "White Christmas".(just kidding)
BrookeLynn:
I didn’t realize that regarding your first sentence. That sucks!!
Bob Dylan is proud of being Jewish. Even during the height of his Christian religiousity, he was praying at the Western Wall with a kippah. I don’t think he wants to shake it off at all!! And I don’t think singing Christmas albums means much; the best-selling Christmas song of all time is "White Christmas", and it’s by a Jew.
 "If either of your parents is a Jew, I consider you a Jew along with most of the world."
Unfortunately Israel isn’t so understanding of the above if it’s not your mom who’s Jewish. (See some of the details in Robin’s posts at "N.Y. is My Israel" here at Jewcy!) I did inadvertly overlook that recognition-by-Israel aspect. I wonder if it irks born again Christian Bob Dylan that he can’t completely shake off that Jewishness. He even has a new Christmas album out this season.  Â
Quote: ". . . but it’s probably more accurate to say my cultural identity is Jewish, although my religious practice clearly is not."
?? That isn’t even rare. States in the Bible Belt are full of Jews who are Christians. When I moved to one of those states, I said to my mom that there are so many Christians here that even the Jews are Christians. But I sure didn’t care what they did with their lives, and I don’t remember any of them acting as if it was a big deal or saying they were in two religions. A lot of local Arabs are Christians too, even if their ancestors were Muslims.Â
 Quote: "In this regard, I’m not all that different from Jews who embrace Jewish culture while rejecting Jewish religious practices. Okay, what’s different, of course, is that Jesus as Christ thing."
But who is saying otherwise? Anyone who would say you’re not Jewish is either mistaken or is changing the definition of a Jew when it’s convenient for them (something that happens all the time when it comes to ethnic vs religious identity.) No serious authority would say you’re not. Israel’s right of return specifically grants citizenship to any Jew who practices a different faith.
If your mom is a Jew, you’re a Jew. If either of your parents is a Jew, I consider you a Jew along with most of the world. If you have some variety of Jewish grandparents or ancestors, you have some Jewish ethnicity.
The only problem is when you say you’re in two religions when even you admit you’re not. And you did when you said your cultural identity is Jewish when your "religous practice clearly is not."
Dear Meredith,
You are truly as close to being "both" Christian & Jewish as one could get. You’re a Christian who doesn’t wish to downplay her cultural Jewishness one iota by simply saying, "I’m a Hebrew Christian." Theologically, I really appreciate the fact that you don’t flatly attempt to make the statement,"I’m both." And I love that you know how to answer in a way to encourage religious dialogue!  There are several Jews in my synagogue who were raised Catholic, and I see from your blog, there are several Jews who have converted to Catholicism. I wonder which there are more of. Have you ever given any serious thought as to how you would choose to raise a son or daughter of yours theologically?Â
Thanks so much,
BrookeÂ
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