Religion & Beliefs

Way back in November Laurel wrote about how fun it is to have a rabbi crush. A rabbi crush “is when you wish someone else’s rabbi could be your rabbi. Usually, this state results from exposure to a smart young rabbi with crazy interpretations but totally hardcore rabbi-skills.” I was on board with Laurel because I’m always harboring some kind of rabbi crush. Even in high school, when I had crazy married-with-ten-kids rabbis teaching me the book of Joshua, I still kind of had crushes on the rabbis because something about them was so intense. I’m big on intensity. Anyway, while rabbi crushes are still part of my life, these days things have progressed a little, and I’ve now dated a number of rabbis-in training (and one full-fledged rabbi). I hadn’t really thought about it until one of my friends brought it up recently, but it seems that rabbis and rabbinical students have a tendency to get me all hot and bothered. I assure you, it’s not that they’re rabbinical students that peaks my interest. I knew most of these guys long before they decided on that choice in life. It’s more that they’re smart and funny and engaged in Jewish life. Also, they’re often kind of tortured by the idea of having to come up with a theology to stick to, which I find weirdly hot. Most of them are awesome at leading services. And I have to say, a guy who can lead a stellar Hallel is a hot commodity where I come from. A good davener is key, my friends. The obvious problem with this is that in a few years, the choices of synagogues I’ll be able to attend will shrink. Can you imagine walking into services on a Saturday morning, looking up at the bimah, and then thinking to yourself, “God, I really wish I didn’t know that he refers to his penis as ‘The Hellraiser.’” That would suck. Obviously, this isn’t the only problem you face if you get involved with a rabbi. If it works out, you could end up a rabbi’s wife. A rebbetzin. And that means having to deal with synagogue politics, and having to sit through endless sisterhood meetings, and having to go to shul every single week… Doesn’t sound like much fun. There are, of course, some really cool rebbetzins. Lynn Harris is married to a rabbi and has some funny things to say about it here and here. There’s a book about it, creatively titled The Rabbi’s Wife. And there’s an interesting blog called Reflections of a Rabbi’s Wife. I’m not sure how well I’d do in the role of the rebbetzin, but I’ve decided to embrace my rabbi past. After all, it’s not like I’ve gone as far as those guys who made a calendar with pictures of hot priests. I just think tzitzit katan are kind of sexy.

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