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Will Mitt Romney Be the First Truly American President?

The Salt Lake Tribune says that a Mitt Romney administration might fulfill prophecy. It's Mormon lore, a story passed along by some old-timers about the importance of their faith and their country. In the latter days, the story goes, the … Read More

By / June 6, 2007

The Salt Lake Tribune says that a Mitt Romney administration might fulfill prophecy.

It's Mormon lore, a story passed along by some old-timers about the importance of their faith and their country. In the latter days, the story goes, the U.S. Constitution will hang by a thread and a Mormon will ride in on a metaphorical white horse to save it.

See this is why I'm crazy about Mormons. How can anyone not love a religion that's like a wonderful hybrid between desert monotheism and a spaghetti western. Moses meets Gary Cooper. So instead of Jesus or the Moshiakh being greeted by palm fronds as they sally into Jerusalem on the back of their embarrassing white jackass, we have Mitt Romney or Orrin Hatch riding Silver into a hail of bullets to rescue the Constitution. Next to Hatch/Romney, Jesus and the Jewish Messiah look downright unAmerican.

And just when the Mormons begin lulling you to sleep with the classic Biblical language and imagery they love so well, they slip in some little piece of Americana that jolts you back to full attention. So, sure, there will be an Age to Come in which all the world shall worship in a new Jerusalem (Boring. Every monotheist and his mother says that.) But the new Jerusalem will be located, naturally, at the present site of Independence, Missouri (Interesting! No one says that!).

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