Mon, Mar 22, 2010

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 The Top 10 Christmas Albums Made by Jews

The Top 10 Christmas Albums Made by Jews

Adam Teeter
 

If there's anything a Jew knows how to do, it's embrace a moneymaking opportunity. Even if it does involve selling schmaltz to the goyim.

10. Phil Spector - A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector
Maybe Phil knew he was gonna ultimately break one of the 10 commandments (read: MURDER), so just in case he was playing for the wrong team, he'd make an album for good old JC too. It's this alone that earns him a spot to open the list.

9. Neil Diamond - A Cherry Cherry Christmas
WOW Jewish Elvis, A Cherry Cherry Christmas? Seriously? Is it supposed to be Christmas with you and George Washington? This earns you spot #9.

8. Harry Connick Jr. - When My Heart Finds Christmas
That silky croon will get him into anybody's top 10 list. Plus this video pushed him from 10 to 8. Give that man an Oscar.


7. Carole King - Love For Christmas
Really, love for Christmas? I guess she means this as a "I always felt left out as a Jew in Brooklyn lighting my Menorah" type of love.

6. Barry Manilow - Because it's Christmas
And because Christmas = snap purchases of music that tugs on heartstrings and selling Christmas albums filled with this music = lots and lots of money.

5. Mel Torme - Christmas Songs
We just always have really liked his name. Mel Torme. Good enough for 5.

4. Bette Midler - Cool Yule
Cool Yule??? Seriously? Thanks Miss M, though I am not sure if this title makes you so divine.


3. Barbara Streisand - A Christmas Album
Oh Barbara, what a vanilla album title, but you are probably the most famous female Jewish singer, so notoriety earns you #3.

2. Bob Dylan - Christmas in the Heart
He's Jewish, He's Christian, He's Jewish, then he makes a Christmas album! We love the consistency!

1. Kenny G - Miracles
Because he's the only one that really looks like a Jew on this whole list, and because he's nerdy and because he's Kenny G.

 



 
Erik Kolácek

Erik Kolácek


Can we trade Phil Spector for Sammy Davis Jr? 

Sammy was Jewish, waaaaay cooler than Phil Spector, not insane (or a wig-wearing killer) and he was totally shtupping Kim Novak. 

What's not to like? 






MaNishtana

MaNishtana


...it kinda annoys me. the decades of jews in the music industry and the only new entry into the chanukah catalog is by adam sandler? now dont get me wrong, he gets props from me for his "chanuka songs", but cmon now guys! a real singer cant give chanuka a lil bit of a shout out?



Levitt8

Levitt8


Just today I heard a nice Hanukkah song by the Bare Naked Ladies.  No one mentions that.  I'm sure they're not the only ones (LeeVees notwithstanding) out there with GOOD Hanukkah music.

 

And there are better X-mas albums by Jews too.  Jorma Kaukonen (Jefferson Airplane / Hot Tuna)  made a nice one just a couple of years ago.  Heck, Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass' X-Mas album is better than most of these.

And no love to Beck, The Ramones, or Marc Bolan, who made great X-mas songs, but not full albums?





FriendlyGrizzly

FriendlyGrizzly


Gads!  We lay claim to <i>Kenny G?!?!?</i>.

Sorry. If I want to hear sax I'll listen to Dexter Gordon, Vito Musso, or other players of REAL music.  Kenny G is to the sax what Lawrence Welk was to orchestral music.  Feh!