Postcards from Yo Jewish Momma

All mothers hope their children succeed. Jewish mothers make sure their children succeed. And, no Jewish mother has ever wrung the neck of a chicken. Only the Shochet gets to do that.

Jews are just like other people. Go back to sleep.

My biggest thing is more the relationship I have with my mother. I live halfway across the world and yet I still have to show my mother (via webcam) what I'm wearing if she calls when I'm on my way out. She will STILL criticise the outfit (usually with a "shouldn't that be ironed?") and then tell me that I don't call enough.

My non-Jewish friends definitely DON'T have that aspect!

This stuff is WRONG. She won't get grandchildren that way. Mom should be a big girl and let you live. How are you going to start important new relationships, with a vigorous young man whose mother ALSO lets him breathe, and then, somebody little who has a REAL right to your endless nurture and attention. It's Moms like this who are choking off our pitiful birthrate. YOU should be making the phone calls, not her, and only when you genuinely want to talk to her. Have a civilized Lady Lunch occasionally, and send her cards and flowers on birthdays and holidays. And don't let it get more than two weeks between chats. A good way is to check in on the way to work. Let her know you are fine, and care. Then say, "I gotta go to work. Love you. Bye."That will do. That's the only real point. You are fine, and you care. If she just HAS to hear your voice, she should call your house when she knows you aren't home, to listen to your phone tape, then hang up without leaving a message. But this emotionally marrying of Mom is a recipe for staying single, for any sex, at any age. You have a RIGHT to a REAL spouse. Insist on it. Nicely. Firmly.

When you have a fiancé who is appropriate, make sure you take Mom aside and tell her that she must respect your new life, and your new world. No, she can't know much about it, just what counts toward your well-being, and, are respectability and happiness being established? Remind her it will never be easy to relinquish one's child, but it must be done. It is the end of the task that was started so long ago. She doesn't want to spoil a lifetime of work, does she? A mother is not a girlfriend, and don't tell the girlfriend about him either. Privacy gives life.