 |
New Year – New Relationship Status |
|
 by Mia-Rut, January 3, 2009 |
||
TAGS:
Writing for Jewcy has really spiced up my dating life. A few weeks ago some guy asked me out after I contemplated Jewish dating and I blogged the date. But things never went any further and in fact I met someone new at the Jewcy Holiday Party.
Getting to know this new guy, we’ll call him Bike Boy, only proves what a small small Jewish world we live (and date) in. During the initial stages of the “getting to know you” dance we both realized we were active in the organization Hazon although he was into the biking and I’m just there for the food. And we discovered it was possible we could have run into each other before – in fact we realized we were at the same Purim party last year.
Having so much in common as well as a few mutual friends (as we would later discover through Facebook) really made me quickly feel comfortable with Bike Boy. And as we discovered on our first date, we had a lot to say to one another (which ended around 1:00am when he finally looked at his watch and commented, “you are not going to believe how late it is!”) A second and third date quickly followed - so lets just say things have been going very well.
However, I couldn’t help notice the other day that his Facebook profile proudly proclaimed that he was – single. Okay, I realize it has only been a few weeks but we never really discussed what our relationship really was. We’ve done plenty of things that could be easily identifiable as dates, but I have never really heard him refer to me as his girlfriend even though I’m pretty sure he is not dating anyone else. We talk endlessly about food and current events and he even spent New Year’s Eve sitting on the sofa with me, a box of tissues, some Theraflu - although I was asleep by 11:00pm. (It wasn't the most exciting of New Year's Eves, but it was sweet of him to stay with me when I was sick.)
So how do you begin the are-we-ready-to-move-into-the-“in a relationship” Facebook status conversation? I’m usually pretty upfront with these things, but he seems to duck the personal “what are we doing” conversations. And I’m not sure I want to spring my thoughts on our relationship on him through a Facebook relationship update request (although probably blogging about it isn’t too subtle either).
A comic illustrating the nuanced differences between sabras and...
Does Not Knowing Hebrew Mean I'm Less of a Jew?
There's More to Poland Than Its Holocaust History
Hint: They'd like her better if she were an African immigrant
Teaching My 1/4 Jewish Children About Their Heritage
| Advertise | Privacy Policy & Terms of Use | FAQ | |  | | Comment Policy | About Us | Contact | Submissions |
| Hosting provided by Tilted Planet | ||
Dorkus
Gosh I've been here so many times...I feel your pain! Before meeting my fiancee, I bought the book, "He's Just Not Into You"...and dumped someone like the person you mention....not to say "dump the dude..." but you might want to consider a couple of things....
You mention being uncomfortable with his single status on Facebook, but you haven't mentioned it to him...if you ask him straight up about his status on Facebook and whether or not he envisions himself as being in a committed relationship with you...he's NOT going to run away, IF he really likes you and sees this going somewhere.
Maybe you're afraid of the answer? Which is totally normal. Maybe the better question should be paying attention to you and your needs...(which is what I ended up doing)...do I want to be with someone that I have to ask myself why he is still listed on single on Facebook, when I kind of thought we were dating??? If you think he's the kind of guy who forgot to change his status (although Greg Behrendt would say the guys should be shouting from the rooftops that he's dating this new, hot amazing chick that you are)...you might want to bring it up? But again....love YOURSELF first...why should it be you in the uncomfortable situation of asking him "WHASSSSUP with your Facebook status, dude??????" "I thought we were an ITEMMMM!"
Anyway, I dumped the guy in question and soon after, met a guy who was more than happy to take himself off Jdate after our second date, not to mention change his status on Facebook type place without my having to ask, which was really, really nice. Oh and as a postscript the other guy in question is still single, and still trolling Jdate...pretty sad for him!
Isaac
Of course, logic being what it is, I'm not surprised no one's touched upon the elephant in the room: WHETHER OR NOT THERE WAS ANY INDICATION THAT HE HAD EVEN CHECKED INTO THE WEBSITE LATELY, AND IF SO, HOW OFTEN!
I can't tell you how many people leave profiles unchanged for weeks or months after last checking into them, even on dating sites. Usually it's due to laziness. I don't do the whole stupid Facebook thing, so I'm not sure that it indicates when somebody last checked in. But it's pretty much a given that a guy isn't going to be into updating his whole online substitute for a social life as frequently as the chicks will be.
Just one opinion, for what it's worth. Good luck either way.
yonatan
Just so long as his mental status is 'in a relationship', I don't know that you should be too preoccupied with his facebook status.
-Y
www.thestloujew.com
lukeford
If so, and you guys aren't hos, then you're most likely a couple. If not, not.
He won't know you love him till you give him your body, to quote Dennis Prager.
Mia-Rut
Thanks Rache76 for sharing your experiences. Isaac, yes in fact he is pretty active on Facebook. And no, lukeford I'm not going to answer your question :)
By the way, "Bike Boy" no longer has "single" on his profile
Also check me out on the Jew and the Carrot