In Islam and Judaism, Too Many Unmarried Women

Not really a problem. With 72 virgins for every shaheed, the male female ratio should balance pretty quickly. However, what does the female shaheed get? Free child care?

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A modern, thinking woman should be a Husbandist. A Husbandist knows how to stand up for her right to have nice husband and at least one baby. Not an oppressor or a problem with legs, a NICE HUSBAND. "Nice" means: "presentable in public, and not an idiot in private". That's all. That's enough. The guy does NOT have to be tall, rich, gorgeous, ivy league, or flat-stomached. He should be not more than eight or nine years younger or older than you. He should be your religion, because that matters, that's where the rubber meets the road, and life is tough enough without differences about that.

It is assumed you have the INTELLIGENCE to put some color on your cheeks so you look happy, put your hair UP in a clip, and act nice. A rouge-less face, with hair hanging down plunk, looks like a clue-less eleven-year old worrying about her term paper for Junior High School. Not material. Not ready to play Center Field. If you wear the WOMAN NOT GIRL uniform, which means a little makeup and style, somebody might salute. They can't salute if you are out of uniform. It's not allowed.

If you want to be taken seriously, take being taken seriously, seriously. You are not a plaything. You are a Husbandist.

You can get some blusher and a hair clip for under ten bucks at any drugstore. You might even consider wearing nicer shoes, at least sometimes. A shoe you would NOT have worn in Junior High School.

 Don't TALK to anybody who isn't himself ready for prime time. How do you know? They are too intelligent to ask you out before they know you. They should just want to hang out and talk, in the DAYTIME, until they know a bit about you. Conversation is interesting to them. They don't want to waste their time either! People who ask you out too soon should be avoided. They just want arm candy to imporess their male friends, and some amusement. Not material.

Somebody make a smart remark, quick. The peasants are getting uppity, and they need to be distracted, fast. Husbandism should be outlawed. Society can't afford it any more. Child production has been outsourced overseas, where labor is cheaper. Get used to it.

Put down that rouge and that hair clip, and keep your hands up where I can see them. Good. Now, walk slowly toward the library, and get another degree. Good. Good little girl.

...still uses rouge? Is this how we will identify the "Husbandists"?

 And golly, this is how intelligence is represented? I must have been mistaken. I thought displays of wisdom, knowledge, and responsibility - along with pragmatism and being frugal were the ways to go. I didn't know I could sum that up with a hair bun and face paint. 

whoever wrote that tradition never met a Jewish woman.

--Z

Don't know about Chicago or the not-so-deep parts of the South, but on the East Coast Jewish women are picky. And not just about allowing themselves to simply see if they might enjoy the company of a man they didn't previously know for a few hours, but with food. And with possibly everything else. And their habits. Repeatedly putting lettuce on your fork with your fingers... umm that's a no-no. Picking the skin off of breaded chicken with solely your index and thumb... 

Well, enough venting. Point is, the smarter Jewish guys who were interested in a Jewish girl, not minding her expected tribalism but assuming that a dash of worldliness or at least some realism wouldn't be so damn difficult to come by, did the next best thing. Italian girls. And sometimes the more cultured Spanish ones. All the same looks (and usually then some) but with so many less hang-ups. Hubba Hubba.  

So if breeding's an issue and this comment applies to you, oh single female Jewish reader of Jewcy, you might want to do yourself a favor. Assuming lifelong monogamy is your over-riding goal, would it be so difficult to try and figure out whether there's anything a guy might actually enjoy about sharing his company with you? Or were you were too entitled, joyless and uncreative to ever bother asking yourself that?

The ladies who where left behind should create a new polyamourous judaio-muslim collective.  They only need the occasional male to serve as sperm donor.

I NEVER said anything about women being "subjugated". As for "summoning the men" with "wit, charm and a decent rack", who is talking about summoning? Summoning sounds too much like subjugating. 

We are ENTITLED to a nice husband. That is the core of the Husbandist platform. As for "face paint and a bun", husbandists have GOOD TASTE. They know how to flip some "blush" under and over their eyes, so they look cheerful even if they're not, and, flick their hair up off their necks, so it splashes interestingly out of one of those latest-thing large hair clips. That way, people can see the nobility of the bones of the head, and the neck. People like necks!! Where is yours? It's under there somewhere. All this gets done in under a minute, and for less than twenty bucks. They also have good table manners! "Racks" scare people. Fertility. Mama. They mean business. But necks interest them, look vulnerable. Inspire tenderness, protectiveness, respect.

Lettuce victim man, try again, you poor thing. How did you choose wrong? Did you move too fast? Make people earn your food. Wait. And make them wait.

I am not talking about having a nice weekend. I am talking about your RIGHT to a life. Where is Title Nine when you need it? Now that we have the right to play soccer, may we please have the right to a nice husband? Or do the rich as well as the poor have the right to sleep under the bridge? Rights are funny things. Examine yours.

Find a building lobby with an arm chair and a mirrored wall. Walk around, sit down, get up, do it again, and then just sit quietly. Watch yourself sideways in the mirror while doing this. Do you look nice when moving? Dignified and high-class? Do you fidget when sitting? If you twitch, writhe and play with your hair you are not going to pass the test: presentable in public, and not an idiot at home. Don't touch your food, face, body or hair. Stand up, and sit up, straight. Most people are crazy enough themselves and want somebody who is calm.

Husbandists: Today, Thursday, May 29th, is Day 39 of the OMER. Kabbalistically, today, Day 39, is about: "Netzach" of "Yesod": which means "Endurance" in "Bonding". This means you! Rabbi Simon Jacobson says:

"An essential component of bonding is its endurance; its ability to withstand challenges and setbacks. Without endurance there is no chance to develop true bonding. Am I totally committed to the one with whom I bond? How much will I endure and how ready am I to fight to maintain this bond?"  Meaning, how tough a Husbandist are you anyway? Do you have Netzach? Are you really interested in Yesod?

Fortunately I didn't have to do much of the rejecting when it came to the pickier ones, which is kind of the point, isn't it, Crazy Husbandist Person? And most of the "choosing" in those instances was done on-line and over the phone anyway. Not so much anymore, at least not for me, thank you. Methinks there's a lot of projecting going on in your venting. I'm not even sure what you're saying underneath all the antsy code words and manifesto-style imperatives.

there is intermarriage in both groups, yet as Tamar noted it is only in Judaism that the "pall of death" has been cast due to our significantly smaller population than other religions. although men are more likely to intermarry than women, there's a fair share of Jewish women who have non-Jewish husbands and even though the children are halachically Jewish (and universally recognized as such), many in the community view these women as apostates simply because of what their husbands are (or in this case, are not). i recently read a piece on a website where a Jewish woman tells of her struggle within her community because of her non-Jewish husband. on paper, this guy sounds really great- is a strong supporter of Israel, sends his kids to Hebrew school, celebrates Shabbat and holidays, keeps kosher at home, etc. but it's not enough for the people at her shul. she even went as far as to ask them if it would have made a difference if she married a Jewish man who didn't care about being Jewish. apparently, their response indicated that it did make a difference because at least she would have married a Jew. basically, their implying that as long as you marry a Jew nothing else matters. and honestly, that's not the best impression to give out.

intermarriage may be frowned upon in Islam (even though the Koran says it is acceptable for a Muslim man to marry a Jewish or Christian woman, but a Muslim woman cannot intermarry), but their members are not panicking over a declining population like we are. the Jewish community has long disapproved of intermarriage, but is finally waking up and realizing that this is reality and they need to do something to keep these people within their confines even if they married out and their spouse has not converted. the NJPS Survey certainly provided a good kick in the ass as far as coming to terms with reality. these days, the Reform and Conservative movements (and to a VERY small degree, the Orthodox) are doing what they can to welcome interfaith couples. but are all of their effors too little too late? what will become of the single Jewish and Muslim women who are left behind in the dating game? something needs to be done so they don't wind up lonely or with someone they don't love (or even know).

something else that wasn't mentioned in this article: Muslim women are probably less picky than Jewish women, because they probably don't have a ridiculously long checklist of things they seek in a man.

Well, H, a Jew, who could care less now, can change his mind! Hard! Any time! He might decide to be a flaming Bal Teshuva religious guy in ten years, learning Torah, going to shul, MASTERING SOME REAL HEBREW. You neeeever know. It's who he always was, no contortions or re-tooling needed. And the other chap will baptise his children, some day, and why in the world shouldn't he? It is his God-given right.

Men want an upbeat woman. Women want a man who can give them a reason to be upbeat. However, that is a myth, because you have to be upbeat for yourself. 

Spinach is green, not red. It's not popular. If spinach wore rouge (ok, blush), it would be ice cream, but it is not smart enough. Are you? And don't expect your mother or your friends to clue you in. If you put it on right, they will just ask what you are so darn happy about, what are you up to? Eh? Do NOT tell them you are wearing blush. Just say, Nothing, honest.

As the title of this post points out, men have choices. Too many choices. My contribution to that is this: as that is true, the women have to exert themselves, or they won't get their rights.

Husbandists of the world, get to work. Men, get your teeth done, so they look good, because that's more important, and easier, than getting muscles, and understand what you offer, because it is so very precious! Women, it is not a symmetrical universe. You and they are not breathing the same air, no matter what anybody has taught you. But why should anybody eat our lunch? Tamar says they are. OK, it's a problem. Solve it. Go to the store and suit up for war.  

Well, in the general community, a smile is your best "hook".  Then, after the prey has taken your bait, good meals and some nice snuggling will often set the hook pretty hard.  Still, back when I was actively collecting, rather than just admiring the artwork, there was nothing quite so off-putting as a hungry or desperate woman, no matter how many cosmetics tricks she might know.  The competition may be pretty fierce, but cultural or religious groups adapt (or they join the Shakers), even while individuals struggle along in their own way.  Interestingly, the parallels between the situation of Muslim/Jewish women and (if I may) 'racialist' black women are quite interesting - anybody up for a term paper?

what crack are you smoking and what's the deal with your rouge obsession? freak.

Just to correct the quoted article, the Qur'an says specifically "..(Lawful to you for marriage are) chaste women from those who were given The Book (Jews and Christians) ..", which is mentioned right after in the same verse (5:5) "The food of the People of The Book is lawful to you, and yours is lawful to them." So the Qur'an says that what's Kosher is Halal, and what's Halal is Kosher (don't know how many observant Jews would accept this (or any) decree of the Qur'an though...).

 The Qur'an is also implicit in it's forbidding the marrying of Muslim women to Christian of Jewish men, "..And give not (your daughters) in marriage to the Idolators till they believe.." (2:221) It can be seen how Christians are Idolators, but Jews? In 9:30 the Qur'an accuses the Jews of worshipping Ezra as the 'Son of God' as the Christians do of he-who-shall-not-be-named, "And the Jews say Ezra is the son of God.." So therefore, they are Idolators, don't marry your daughters to them! (see fatwa)

But the Muslim apologist, knowing that it is not known of the Jews to worship Ezra as the 'Son of God', will speculate that there were heterodox Jews of Madinah whom Muhammad encountered that did so, and this verse is directed against them. But this is inconsistent with the general-ness of the accusation of the verse...

Unrelated: I've heard (from Shalom Auslander, 'Foreskin's Lament') that pork will be kosher after Moshiach arrives. In Islamic tradition, pork will not exist after the Al-Maseeh comes, he will kill all the pigs, and break all the crucifixes.

I volunteer to sacrifice myself for the good cause and with no barriers of religion what so ever , I'll take all commers even christians to relief a little of this sea of depravation .

Based on my own personal experience, you are probably better off unmarried.  At least thats the impression I get from my Jewish wife.

You make a somewhat good argument about women being presentable, but why should a woman who is a true and real woman have to cover up the natural beauty that God has given to her? I know that I am beautiful - more beautiful than the women who have to put makeup on their faces just to be noticed. I have a brain and the men who wish to date me hold very intelligent conversations with me. If I want to dress up and wear my hair pinned up in a pretty style, I can do that because I choose to do so - not because it is required for a man to think of me as attractive. I will not hide my beauty under a fake face of makeup. Take me as I am now because I won't be wearing makeup to sleep when I'm married. And yes, my husband should have flat abs; they don't have to be perfect but he needs to be in some type of shape or else he will be on the strictest diet to lose some weight. He won't get the chance to touch me if he looks disgusting and is sweating like a pig because of all the unhealthy fat on his body. I want my husband to live a good and long life with me - not die early because he is a fat, unhealthy hog. I am the least materialistic woman you will ever get the opportunity to hear from, so you need to take heed in what I say. Think about women's intelligence because you want to be sure that the woman does love you enough to not make you fat and unhealthy in order to kill you off quickly by heart attack or stroke so that she can live free from your sickness and filth.