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Jews and Plastic Surgery
By Mae Singerman / January 20, 2010
Three weeks ago, I wrote about the Matzah Ball, the “revolutionary” Jewish singles party on Christmas Eve, a.k.a the sleaziest Jewish-themed event I’ve ever been to. At the Matzah Ball, as I wrote, there was a table offering plastic surgery advice and coupons. Yesterday, after I had finally got the grime of the event off of my skin, I got a call from the plastic surgery clinic that the organizers of the Matzah Ball had given my contact information to. (WTF Matzah Ball organizers?) “Congratulations!” a cheery voice told me. “You didn’t win the drawing, but you were a runner up.” She offered me $500 off of any “cosmetic procedure.” When I told her I wasn’t interested, she offered it to any of my family members, as long as they called back within 24 hours. “This is special for you, because you attended the Matzah Ball.” As disgusted as I am, I can’t say I’m surprised. Cosmetic surgery has been a not-very-secret secret of mainstream Jewish American culture for a few generations now. Two of my three grandmothers (yes, I said three) had nose jobs by the time they were 18. Grandma Esther got a nose job in a small town in Ohio in the 1930s. Could that sound any more painful? And by the time I was 12, Bubbe Debbie made it clear that she would pay for a nose job if I wanted one. By the time I was 18, I had to directly tell her to stop talking about my nose. I’d love to say my grandmothers or the Matzah Ball are exceptions to the rule, but unfortunately they aren’t. Is looking "like a Jew" still such a bad thing?
This post originally appeared on JSpot and is reprinted with permission
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Almost all of my female relatives have gotten a nose job, yet I wish I looked more Jewish.
I know exactly what you’ve written about. When I was in High School in the 60s the big deal was the Sweet Sixteen nose job. All these Jewish girls suddenly turning into shicksas, with their little puggy noses, execmpt from Gym class.
I used to assume I would have one as well…but fortunately didn’t have one. Jennifer Gray threw away a promising career, her future, by having that nose job.
Two words: “Jennifer Grey.”
Good on you, Mae, for keeping your original equipment. Assuming that you’re not the furry one, your nose seems perfectly fine to me. The furry one’s nose is cute as well.
Oddly enough, the modern rhinoplasty was developed by a Jewish doctor, Jacques Joseph. For those who are interested, there’s a website dedicated to Dr. Joseph at http://www.jacques-joseph.de/.
The particular technique Dr. Joseph pioneered was the “simultaneous intranasal correction of a protuberant nose with a correction of the anterior septum.” Where have I heard that before?— ”As long as we have to correct her deviated septum….”
In parting, here’s a little ditty about nose jobs from Kinky Friedman: “Why Do You Bob Your Nose Girl?”
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