Jewcy Reader Challenge: Kevin Powell's Bacon Jokes Edition

Kevin Powell: say what now? This week’s “D’oh!” moment comes courtesy of former Real World star and straight- outta-Brooklyn’s-10^th-Congressional-District US House of Representatives hopeful, Kevin Powell. The New York Post reports that while at a meet and greet dinner in Williamsburg, Powell promised a room full of Orthodox Jews that, if elected, he would “bring home the bacon.” Smooth.

We're guessing that of all the things Powell could have promised to bring home to those forty representatives from the Satmar community in attendance, "the bacon" was probably the last thing on their wish list. When the story’s original reporters, The Brooklyn Paper, asked Powell if he understood the implications of his metaphor in light of this particular audience, he replied, “I am definitely aware of their Kosher diet. It was an inside joke, as I’ve become very comfortable with this community.” The Brooklyn Paper did not specify whether or not Powell’s statement was followed up by his tugging at his collar, wiping his brow, and coughing loudly.

Clap if You Believe: Everytime a bacon joke gets made in front of the Hassidic, a bacon angel gets its wingsSo, because Jewcy cannot just let a tremendous opportunity like this pass us by, we offer a few kosher-friendly alternatives for Powell to consider next time:

• I promise to bring home the brisket.
• I promise to bring home the kreplach.
• I promise to bring home the bagels. (As long as there are no shmear campaigns.)

On the other hand, here's our “Is this thing on?” list for Powell to avoid at all costs:

• Now, I know what you’re thinking: this guy looks about as out of place in this room as a doughnut on Passover!
• Geez, I feel as nervous as a Bar Mitzvah boy before his haftarah up here!
• Any budget cuts I make will be absolutely necessary. All the mohels in the house know what I’m talking about!

Can you think of any more? Leave your suggestions in the comments section.