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A Jew in the Video is Worth 20 Palestinians in the Bush

In an event already being declared a breakthrough in Arab political identity and self-esteem by media outlets throughout the Middle East, Islamic resistance group Hamas secured the return of 20 Palestinian female prisoners held in Israeli jails, in exchange for a video of a single, emaciated Jew.

Hamas-leader-in-exile Khaled Meshal said during a speech-in-exile in Damascus that the exchange represented the greatest-ever affirmation of the sanctity that the Arab world places upon its prisoners, and the righteousness of their sacrifice.

"Imagine if we send them a fingernail, we could free every prisoner in Israel", Meshal told the crowd at Martyrs’ square in the Martyrs’ Heights neighborhood of Damascus, before mumbling something about "Zionist vampires" hijacking his Twitter feed.

In later statements made to an AP writer in Damascus, Meshal said he had received "unconfirmed proof" that Israeli agents had implanted a GPS tracking device in the left breast of each prisoner, in order to better facilitate future punitive air strikes on their homes and sleeping children.

The Gaza newspaper "Palestine", which secured a choice product placement in the video, reported that all 20 prisoners were currently undergoing reprogramming in UNRWA-run schools in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, in order to expunge the trade school certifications and high school equivalency exams they completed while in the prisons of the Zionist entity.

On Friday, Palestinian families throughout the West Bank rejoiced in the glory of their loved ones’ return home, with many saying it was their happiest day since the last of their regular visits to them in Israeli prison.

Also Friday, relatives of Israel Defense Forces soldier Gilad Shalit celebrated their first view of their son since he was kidnapped in a cross-border raid by Hamas in 2006, saying that the three years without any contact or confirmation of his well-being and Hamas’ refusal to allow Red Cross visits made viewing the 2:42 video all the sweeter.

 

Benjamin L. Hartman is an editor at Haaretz.com, the English Web site of Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz

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