How To: Explain Shabbat to a Non-Jew

Tamar, maybe you can help clear up an on-going debate. Is it ok to play Scrabble on Shabbat? I've always thought it wasn't, since you're "creating" words, but your mention of board games got me thinking about this important halachic question.

To me the problem is how to explain Shabbos (thought I'd show my age here) to Jews.  If you define the purpose of explaining to simply fill in the curiosity hole, great.  But, how do you explain it and create a desire to do it? 

File this in the Eternal Problems Folder. 

Speaking personally: Explaining it and creating the desire to do it is pretty easy if "it" is "keeping a day holy for G-d, not doing work or other secular activity, focusing on the things that bring you close to G-d and family." It's not so easy if "it" is spending your Friday afternoon tearing toilet paper up so you won't find yourself in an unenviable position on Saturday morning.

One of the things that encourages me to keep Shabbos, at least to some degree and some of the time, is seeing the example of friends who do it (although I don't personally know anyone who goes so far as to tear toilet paper in advance) and the positive effects it has on them. They seem happier and much more at peace for the rest of the week. When I encounter people who engage in some allegedly spiritual practice that makes them appear to me to be miserable and full of anger, I tend to think it's not actually a very good practice. So my suggestion is to be good examples and show what a good practice it is by its positive effects on your life. And invite Jews who don't keep Shabbos to your Shabbos dinners and have a good time with them, and maybe they'll end up not driving home after all.

Maya... maybe Scrabble is okay since you're only putting together words that exist, but Scarble, in which you make up words that don't exist and put definitions to them, wouldn't be okay? (kidding... I'm sure David will be along presently to answer this question to everyone's satisfaction)

Recently I tried to explain the concept of Shabbat to a non-Jew who had never heard of Shabbat before. At first saying it was the day of rest for Jews where you refrain from certain things, and I told her all the rules an observant Jew would follow, and she sort of laughed at the idea. I think I was a bit taken a back because often people know a little about Shabbat, but her not knowing anything I really had to watch the way I phrased things, such as not saying "Oh they don't rip toilet paper" and instead explain more things about the spiritual idea of resting and preparing for the week to come.

I think after I explained it more abstractly she started to understand more and I felt better that she had learned about it from a Jew. It really can be hard explaining Shabbat to a non-Jew, but it can also be a very good thing if explained in a positive way.

Some people think that you shouldn't play Monopoly on Shabbat since you are using "money" to "buy" and "sell" properties, and to "build" houses.  What about chess and the various board games where you "kill" your opponent, etc.  As long as you don't break any of the Shabbat laws (write, tear, etc), what's the problem?  People in the "board games are bad for Shabbat" club need to get a life.

I once asked about knitting on Shabbat and learned that too is not permitted because you are weaving something and that was done before the Shabbat.  Most explanations to questions you have about whether you can do something on Shabbat are based on whether they were done back when the earth was created.

Tamar,

Seriously, you know well that even in Chicago shabbat needs explanation! Love this article, though I will take umbrage (umm, that's right, umbrage) with one point. Re: the creativity thing; I see what you are trying to say and generally agree. However, what of sex? As a proscribed shabbat activity, wouldn't this fall into the category of human creativity? Or at least one would hope that it would?

Well, if nothing else, at least it means that I will be called a whore in this comment thread for once instead of you.

"However, what of sex? As a proscribed shabbat activity, wouldn't this fall into the category of human creativity?"

Or at least "completing a circuit" another one of the restricted activities.

(come on...I wrote a book about shabbat...how could I NOT comment to this thread!?!)

Meredith Jacobs

The Modern Jewish Mom's Guide to Shabbat (Harper, 2007)

Sex is considered to be holier on Shabbos than on other days.  The gig is that our overall purpose is not to go to heaven to be near Gd, but rather Gd specifically says that I (Gd) want to come and hang out with you.  That's the big picture.  What's missing is the female aspect of Gd, missing from the world, and Shabbos is an invite for its return.  So, sex, unifying male and female--good.  Very Shabbossy.  Very.

Cavanaugh, one word:  Kleenex.  'Nuff said.

Wow, thanks, Naftali. I never would have thought of that all on my own.

I didn't mean it in an insulting way.  I was hoping you would laugh.

But you'd be surprised how many folks think the same material that is for the nose MUST be used for the nose...changing the subject, baseball season.  It's great.

And here's my smiley-- :-).

Now Cavanaugh, for the sake of Shalom Bayit, please accept Naftali's apology (and smiley face).

Meanwhile, back in my "bayit"--hubby working from home 'cause of ice.  I put a roast in the oven really, really early this morn  (it's one of those slow roasting recipes--10 hours at 170 degrees).  I came downstairs around 1:00 for lunch and thought, "hmmmm,  I wonder why I don't smell the roast?"  Turns out Hubby Dear TURNED THE OVEN OFF.  He thought he was helping!  AURGH!  Now what the hell am I supposed to do for dinner!?!  Roast will be ready at 11:00 pm.

Meredith Jacobs

Aww that stinks! We better get rid of the ice so he can leave the house and you get the kitchen back! At least you have what to eat....for tomorrow...

I did laugh, don't worry, and my sarcastic response was likewise intended as humorous.

But of course I was just using that as shorthand for all the things people find difficult or overly demanding about Shabbat, not all of which have easy solutions.

The oven crisis, of course, being a perfect example. Sorry to hear of your travails, Meredith, and I wish you good shabbos no matter what! 

Okay, no problem.  It's just so hard to do subtle inflections. 

But I hear your point.  It is very difficult, keeping Shabbos, and I can't claim to have mastered any bit of it.  But that, is a whole 'nother discussion.   Does the difficulty indicate that we are still at some level enslaved, or are we free folk who are more incompetent than competent?  I lean toward the former.

But this discussion was way more interesting when it turned to sex.  

 "once asked about knitting on Shabbat and learned that too is not permitted because you are weaving something and that was done before the Shabbat.  Most explanations to questions you have about whether you can do something on Shabbat are based on whether they were done back when the earth was created."

 

Not the earth, the Mishkan. That's where the 39 Malachot come from. There's a good explanation from the OU at http://www.ou.org/chagim/shabbat/thirtynine.htm

Good Shabbos to all,

Yaakov 

What are you doing for dinner?  The Big Questions have mostly been answered today.  But not that one.

The roast is actually starting to smell good--may actually be ready in time.  Really getting down to crunch time.  Here's my plan.  I'm going to check on it now.  If it still needs 5 more hours then it stays in the oven and we have really great roast beef sandwiches on HOMEMADE challah tomorrow for lunch.  And, husband runs out to pick up dinner.  I always try to make something nice for Shabbes, but I do believe it's the candles and the blessings and (yes) even discussing the Torah portion that make it Shabbat and not the chicken (or roast or brisket).  And, Naftali will be happy to hear, that Friday night is also "date night" (wink, wink).

Interesting point about being enslaved--I guess you could say that for all the commandments.  I find, the more I learn, the more I realize that these rules are in place to help keep us strong as families and as a community.  Especially Shabbat--in a world where we rarely sit down and eat together, let alone spend an entire day together, this is our excuse to do so.  And, I love that we bless our children and use Friday night dinner to talk with them in a different way then we do other nights.

Here's my question--there's something on JTA today about is it okay to be "kinda kosher"--you know, keep a kosher home but only avoid "high trief" outside the home. Keep a kosher home, but bring in Chinese food and eat it on paper plates.  Is that better or worse than not keeping kosher at all?  Same for Shabbat...what about lighting candles after the sun has set?  Or just observing Friday night and going shopping on Saturday?  Are we preserving something (which is better than nothing) or hacking away at the traditions?

Meredith Jacobs

Sometimes life is the best teacher.  Years ago we went out to hear some music on New Year's Eve Gregorian Calendar.  The club served some turkey, greens, cornbread.  Fabulous cornbread.  What's in this? I asked.  Cornmeal, ham...

Well, laboratory's open.  Let's see what happens.  I like to be funny, make jokes.  Now, to do this properly takes timing, and sometimes you have only a split second to say the line.  

I lost my timing.  It was like my life was going by and I'd forgotten my lines.  I knew I should say something at a given moment, that I normally would, but I couldn't quite grasp it.  That was enough for me. Kosher all the time. 

But as I said in my blog--in the Hitchens entry--that only means something to me.  It's an event that was powerful for me, but to anyone else, not so much.

Bottom line:  life can answer those questions--if your really ask them with all your intention.  Naaseh Vnishmah.  You'll find out.   

Couldn't leave you all hanging...dinner turned out great!  Best roast ever!  Maybe I should have my husband turn off the oven every time I cook :)

I'm glad it worked. And so we have another happy ending to another episode in the ongoing story of Jews and Shabbos. (Now how would you do a smiley for schmaltzy organ music?)

I just got that book last night and it's really nice. The book is the closest you can get by trying to explain it in words. I do feel that one really must experience it to understand it is so much more than rest.

As far as playing games, completing circuits etc I think doing it to the T is best, more so if you have kids or plan to as if you were raised in an Orthodox family and you are glad you experienced it the way you did and you "hack away" at it than every generation it may be at a loss more and more. On the other hand I think you can still  utilize it to it's full benefit even if you may use a light timer or do things that may not be agreed by, by others. May it never be lost.

thankfully, my non-Jewish friends aren't culturally or religiously impaired and actually do know what Shabbat is. they know the basics (lighting the candles, blessing the wine, not being able to use electricity), but if they really want an in-depth explanation, i tell them to consult Wikipedia. somehow, both my Jewish and non-Jewish friends think i'm an expert on Judaism because i happen to read a ton of books on the subject. but the truth is, i'm not. i'm nowhere close to being observant. in fact, there are some instances where i have no clue about certain things and occasionally have to revert back to "Judaism For Dummies" once in awhile.