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Hacking JDate |
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 by Patrick Aleph, August 2, 2009 |
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From this Series
I recently became single. Yeah, sad, I know. But it happens.
So even though I'm looking forward to being Mr. Man On The Town during the 2009 CAN!!CAN/PunkTorah Tour, I thought it might be fun to check out JDate* and see what it is all about. Plus, Tu B'Av (Jewish Valentine's Day) is coming up, and it would be nice to not feel like a loser.
I don't know about you, but after ten minutes of being on the Golden-Calf-of-Cyber-Yentas, I can safely say that JDate is the epitome of boring ass, gaywad Jewish crap.
JDate exists in the same realm that suburban JCCs, "young professionals groups" and Temple Singles Clubs inhabit: "we're trying to be hip and edgy, but it takes gallons of fruit-flavored flourescent martinis, the latest Crackberry and shopping trips to Banana Republic to get us there."
To top it off, JDate costs a shit ton of money. Sure, it's free to get a profile. But that's like someone giving you a brand new Iphone...only without a screen. No self respecting bohemian Jew would do JDate because $40.00 to look at pictures of people you went to summer camp with is just not worth it. You can buy weed for that!
I decided that JDate needed to be hacked. I needed to see if it was possible to get around paying a billion dollars a month to talk to twenty-nine year old corporate paper pushers who enjoy jalapeno poppers at Chili's and going to the outlet mall on Sundays.
Here's what I tried:
Test #1: Simply put your email address in the profile (duh!)
Conclusion: Fail! The second you put a Yahoo, Gmail or whatever, the darn robots get ya! Try as you might with Y.A.H.OOs or gee-mail, but they'll find you out.
Test #2: Browse the photos of your Hebrew Hotties. Once you find a potential love/lust interest, you just remember what they look like and find them on the Facebook Jewster ap.
Conclusion: Moderate fail! The theory works. You can look at someone's age/location/Jewish background and use that criteria to search for them on Jewster. Problem is, Jewster just isn't that popular. I did have luck finding one girl who lives near me, but there's thousands of Jews in my area so one-out-of-a-billion is not a success ratio worth getting excited over.
Test #3: Make your profile name on the site the same as your Twitter name. Then, write your ad in all lowercase letters, except the letters that spell out the secret message "FIND ME ON TWITTER @".
Conclusion: After a few days, it looked like the JDate robots hadn't discovered my little technique. So I tried rewriting my profile and making it more obvious. Another day later, and it's still up!
I deserve some kind of award for figuring that out. If they catch me (which they will if they see this article), then I'll just find a new way.
*Full Disclosure: I'm not a virgin to the JDate thing. I actually asked the parent company of JDate to sponsor my band's tour. They respectfully declined and said, "maybe in the future". I think the Moshiach will come before then.
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Jennie Rivlin Roberts
You are relying on the women to contact you.
Women are barraged with inquiries from guys. Then they take their pick.
So how many JDaters have said hello on Twitter?
--
Jennie Rivlin Roberts
ModernTribe.com
Follow me: ModernTribe_Jew on Twitter!
punktorah
Leahb
The easiest and simplest "hack" to get around paying for Jdate is to make your username the same as your AIM screenname.
Or, look up their username on OKCupid, a free (albeit icky) dating site.
punktorah
Ashley Tedesco
Sandori
"there's thousands
of Jews in my area"....Have you considered door-to-door?..Or a sign on your lawn "Hi I'm Available->Inquire Within...lol
EstherK
This has been an evergreen topic for Jewish singles for at least the last decade. They hate it, they go out with freaks, they use it for booty calls, they despair of ever finding anyone remotely appropriate on the site, they complain and complain. And then someone they know meets someone on JDate and they think, "Really? That guy found someone on JDate? If he can do it..."
JDate has its problems and its inequities. I think $40/month is way too much. But the rules have always included "if you put your email address in your profile or user name, we will delete the offending words and perhaps your account, so might as well cough up the dough." (Not an exact quote, clearly.)
I'm not sure I knew the term "gaywad" was back, but if JDate sucks so much, why bother expending the energy to hack it?
http://jdatersanonymous.com
rgbflawed
I did discover KINDA real way to "hack" jdate...
You know those emails you get that someone has clicked "yes" to you? And it shows you five people that it COULD be. In order to find out who you have to click "yes" to one of them. Well I figured out how you can always tell which of those five it is.
Go to one of the suspects profiles and look at the source code for the page. In the source code do a search for:
value="8"
It should be near the line of code called "YNMVoteStatus". If you find value="8" in the page, then it's them! If it's value="0" then it's not. Check out another profile. (Just make sure when you visit the page that you're logged in propperly)
Have fun with it!
-p.s. GIRLS!!! I don't care if you make your user name your AIM name or what... just please make it SOMETHING where you can be googled or facebooked or something and be found. I'm not being conned into thinking you're cheap unless you pay $40 to join the site.
Mikewind Dale - Michael Makovi
You said, "-p.s. ... just please make it SOMETHING where you can be googled or facebooked or something and be found ..."
Seriously! If you were to Google "Mikewind Dale" or "mikewinddale", you'll instantly find almost everything online pertaining to me, including
--- My Gamebanshee profile, where RPGs such as Fallout and Planescape: Torment are discussed; my Jewcy profile; my Scribd profile; my Myspace profile; my Twitter profile
--- My own blog
--- My comments to other peoples' blogs, Popular Science, and to Frumteens (where, like a maskil in Volozhin, I surreptiously evade the moderator's censorship of anything not Haredi, via very careful and subtle obfuscation of my intent)
Okay, so my Facebook doesn't show up, but I think that it is clear that in every online location where I don't use my real name ( = everything but Facebook), I use the same username, again and again and again and again. Let this be a model for all you online daters (male and female) out there.