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Enough With The Damn Mouse Already!

Screw Disney Land or as Rabbi Meyer Golden, one half of the new Jewish Theme Park, Menorah Mountain, in Southern California, would say, "Enough with the mouse already. We want a place to celebrate US!"

Golden, a rabbi from L.A., has partnered with fellow rabbi Seymour Sherman to provide some much-needed thrill-seeking kitch amusement to Jewish families.

The Flailing Wall has riders strapped into seats that are raised up the side of the Wailing Wall replica before being submitted to a heart-stopping freefall to the foot of the wall. The Dead Sea Roll is a modern roller coaster that turns upside down and back again as it rockets forward. Riders are routinely seen with hands tightly clasped, praying it will stop. The Rabid Rabbi is a frothy water plunge ride that leaves you drenched and repentant.

Most terrifying of all, however, are a pair of popular rides: The Guilt Trip and The Jewish Mother. Both are variations of rickety roller coasters that have riders screaming their lungs out in fright and begging to get off.

For adults, at noon each day, there’s a musical review, Goys and Dolls, featuring gorgeous schiksas from all over the world, in the Barbra Streisand Performance Hall.

What would male Jewish rabbis do without overbearing mothers and "gorgeous schiksas"? Perhaps spend less time conceiving fukakta ideas and developing them to fruition.

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