Eating Disorders Plague the Orthodox World |
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| Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a sandwich | |
by Tamar Fox, February 27, 2008 |
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Anorexia: still a problem under a long skirt and thick tightsYou might not guess it, but Orthodox women are hiding something under those long skirts and thick tights: Eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia are generally associated with mainstream media and the pop culture that promotes super-thin figures, but eating disorders are problematic even in the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish worlds. Girls (and increasingly boys, too) in these communities aren’t necessarily modeling themselves on celebrities, but they are trying to live up to to societal expectations for beauty and thinness. In a community where couples get engaged after only a handful of dates, it’s no wonder that undue emphasis is often put on the physical.
A Forward article about the phenomenon of eating disorders in the frum community contains a disturbing revelation about matchmaking:
Very often, young men looking for brides in the Orthodox community call a girl’s parents and ask for her dress size. “If it is anything over an eight, forget it,” Abraham Twerski said. Twerski, founder of a drug-and-alcohol treatment center in Pennsylvania, wrote a book about eating disorders called “The Thin You Within You.” “Girls have become probably even more body-image conscious in the Orthodox community than in the general population,” he said.
Wanting to predict what a young woman’s figure will be when she turns 40 or 50, some men go as far as asking what the size of the potential bride’s mother is. This obsession with physical appearance has led to an increase in eating disorders among middle-aged women.
In a response to this apparent epidemic, the Orthodox Union is producing a documentary titled Dying To Be Thin, about anorexia and bulimia within the Orthodox community. Many of the already available resources in this area focus more on media influences, which is less relevant for girls raised in homes without televisions, so the O.U. has committed to developing its own film for distribution to schools and synagogues affiliated with the O.U. in the United States, Canada and maybe Israel.
The Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance has a wonderful page of links to articles, books, and programs dedicated to eating disorders in the Orthodox world, but as was recently pointed out in a post on Dov Baer Forever, much of what’s being discussed has to do with very young, single women, but married and middle-aged women are also susceptible to anorexia and bulimia, and are likely to pass their eating disorders on to their daughters.
Rachel S
Who knew?
"Very often, young men looking for brides in the Orthodox community call a girl’s parents and ask for her dress size."
First off, how horrible and shallow. Second, is it even decent to ask a woman's dress size? Interesting that these women can't show skin, but people around them are able and willing to discuss details of their bodies. Perhaps potential suitors will next ask bust size, too? (I mean, that number is really built into dress sie, but maybe they'd like to know that separately.)
naftali
Shocking
Are you serious? The orthodox community is actually addressing a problem rather than hoping it just goes away? The times of the Messiah must be close. Or else someone just spoke to someone 'on the outside', accidentally.
There was a little spark there for a moment.
Michal
Glad it's being dealt with, but skeptical
While it's hard to argue with powerful anecdotal evidence, this directly contradicts a study done a few years ago at the University of Haifa, which showed that the more religious a Jewish girl is, the less likely she is to develop an eating disorder. [jpost.com]
- So while I know it's probably a problem for them as much as any other community of women (sigh), I'm not sure about the assertions that it's significantly worse, or that Orthodoxy lends itself to the problem. Unless a lot has changed in under two years, or it's simply worse in America than in the chareidi community in Israel. Either way, I'm glad people are dealing with the problem rather than pretending it doesn't exist at all.
naftali
Seriously
This truly brings up the question as to the nature of what assimilation really is, or where it is. Externally, clearly the orthodox try not to assimilate, but it's actually hard not to, no matter how much protection or how many shields one puts up. This is a clue, not conclusive, but a clue that the internal thought processes are very similar to the collective consciousness (yeah, I know, no proof that it even exists) of the prevailing culture. It raises important questions, not in an abstract way, but for the purposes of diagnosis. What are thoughts, how do they move, how do they take root, so many questions we need to answer.
Faith
Myths and facts
Eating disorders are not a product of pop culture Naftali. The need to control one's environment (or what one can within their environment) combined with genetics seem to cause eating disorders and other control disorders such as OCD. If there is little in a woman's environment that is under her control, especially in a restrictive community and she happens to feel like she is less in control than even others in her community, she may resort to the one thing she does have control over, which is her intake of food. This may also be a way of controlling her sexuality, fertility, etc.
On my route to work every morning, I pass by a married frum woman power walking at 6:15 a.m. She is covered head to toe, but when I am stopped in traffic, I can see her face and I can tell she is very thin. I have lived with the disorder for about 19 years now. I know what I am seeing in that woman every morning and I know that she is dying inside. I hope that, one day, she will be reached by this program. I am afraid I have nothing to offer her.
naftali
Faith
Yes, I used to treat this disorder, years ago. I just chose not to explain it in your terms. But there is definitely a cultural component to this. And that's what I focused on. You chose to identify another problem in the orthodox community, and the two certainly can come together at the dinner table.
Like I said it raises lots of questions. I chose to raise the series of questions focusing on keeping out the influences of the secular world, that these efforts have for the most part failed when it comes to the soul and heart. You raise questions about more complex feelings that arise, in both worlds--and you framed the questions in psychological and biochemical terms. That's fine. Like I said, it's a long and hard discussion that few people are willing to have.
Cavanaugh
A possibly rude question, but just a question all the same
Naftali, can I ask, without getting too specific, can you describe your qualifications for treating eating disorders? You can PM me if you prefer.
naftali
Not Rude
But I'll PM just the same, but I might not get to it today. But I will say it was in the days when paradoxical therapy was allowed and thought to be wise--as opposed to 'just shocking and illogical' in today's linear world.
Anonymous
support the project
They're still raising money for the project:
http://www.ou.org/index.php/ylc/article/11215/
prageri@ou.org, 14th Floor, Eleven Broadway, New York, NY 10004.
--DT
Faith
I've been stewing about this for days
Naftali - paradoxical therapy is not shocking and illogical - it's harmful. It is horrible. I'm glad you're not treating people with eating disorders anymore.
Faith
naftali
There Was a Time
When it was the treatment of choice. I'm not going to go into details, but there were quite a few successes with this. People don't do it anymore. Like I said, it is out of favor because of fear of lawsuits, not because of whether it works or not. I'm not talking about just eating disorders, but essentially all work and methods pioneered by Milton Erikson. You will note that the numbers of such disorders seems to be on the rise. So linear treatment has no particular bragging rights on previous treatments.
The biggest breakthroughs in therapy has come through biochemistry, better medicines.
And, if you say the problem of eating disorders is an issue of control, and I agree, why is paradoxical therapy so horrible? The idea is for the patient to no longer wish to exercise this overcontrol of their environment. To me, each patient was a little different than every other patient. I did not do 'one size fits all'. The only thing of concern was that the patient relinquish this harmful need for control, which is different than a healthy exercise of control.
Also, why are you angry? I simply said that there is a cultural component to this disease, and there is. You said there was more to it, and I agreed. I was simply saying that I am familiar with the disorder, and not from a distance. I said there used to be another method of treatment, which there was, and that it is no longer in favor, which it isn't--but that's not because it didn't work. Do you think we were trained to hurt people, do you think there weren't papers published which documented the successes? Do you think these methods were not supervised?
I stopped doing the work because I felt other therapists were more concerned with lawyers than their own patients, and that at that moment, when the patient became the secondary or even tertiary focus of therapy, I thought that perhaps more harm was being done than good. I've done nothing or said anything wrong. Or maybe I have--but you'll have to tell me.
Anonymous
jewishbulimic
I'm very glad that there is action here and I hope that people are helped because of it. It can be all the more horrific knowing that what you're doing is religiously wrong as well as everything else.
www.jewish-bulimic.blogspot.com
AWH
Why eating disorders have a cultural component
I've known eating disordered women who took offense at the idea that their disorders sprang in some simple manner from fashion magazines or the like. Understandable. I've never heard anyone say that there is a direct line from pop culture to disordered eating.
But we do know that eating disorders exist in some cultures and not in others. This clearly underscores that it is culturally mediated. It may be complicated, but culture is definitely involved.
This is so well established that I'm not sure I understand the upset in the comments section on this article.
Thanks to the author, by the way.
Peter1900
culture?
The main thing about a person is, he, his nation, his culture. The third one will decide his Orthodox World.
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peter
Very Powerful Search Engine
<a href="http://www.gmail.com">Google</a>
crest
Culture
This is very good website as it consists of informative about our culture,living style.
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Crest
GOOD PLACE TO GET ALL PRODUCT DETAILS...
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mike1
This site shows how the
This site shows how the women which are fashioned in modernways cannot able to look after their health properly. Maintaining good fashion in the industry not only important but also we should take care about our eating habits and diets which we take regularly. This will give strength to our body.
===============================================
mike
GOOD PLACE TO GET ALL PRODUCT DETAILS...
shop4free
Anonymous
syntax disorders
In addition to eating disorders, syntax & spelling disorders seem to be the order of the day on this thread. Also, what's up with all the blurbs at the bottom of everybody's entry? Is this what they mean by "multitasking?"
When I think of Jewish eating problems, I tend to think of too heavy, not too skinny, but then I'm unenlightened. ("look at him, he doesn't eat a thing!")
knightrider
eating disorders
this article is an intresting one . here it is dealt with the eating disorders in women, who just trying to get slim by redusing their diet.. this ofcourse is a big problem in the modelling and pop world .they just trying to slim up themselves as per the needs of their profession ,but they not aware of the consequenses of it..................
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knightrider
GOOD PLACE TO GET ALL PRODUCT DETAILS...
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sacchi
here we get a lot of
here we get a lot of information on our culture and how they feel about these culture, you can gather a lot from here....
===========================
sacchi
GOOD PLACE TO GET ALL PRODUCT DETAILS...
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richardrai52
This site describes about
This site describes about the eating habits of the women who are interesting in fashion world.There is eating disorder in women so that they are facing health problems.
=================================================
richard
GOOD PLACE TO GET ALL PRODUCT DETAILS...
http://www.freeshoping.com
andrewadam
This site gives the
This site gives the about the eating habits of the women who are interesting in fashion world. The women are more interesting about fashion in now a day. Because of this interest they are getting some kind of health problems. There is eating disorder in women so that they are facing health problems.
***********************************************************
andrewadam
http://www.orkut.com
Noel
Problems during disordered eating................
Eating disordered we will face lot of problems. Due to this problem we are face lot of risks. Personally, I am faced lot of problems for this reason.So don’t take easy. Eat well and maintain good health.
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Noel
Social Media Network
martin
comment
This site gives the about the eating habits of the women who are
interesting in fashion world. The women are more interesting about
fashion in now a day. Because of this interest they are getting some
kind of health problems. There is eating disorder in women so that they
are facing health problems.
Anonymous
This website gives
This website gives information how young men are looking for brides in the Orthodox community call
a girl’s parents and ask for her dress size. This site gives the eating habitats of women who are interested in fashion. Maintaining good fashion in the industry not only important but also we
should take care about our eating habits and diets which we take
regularly
===================
William Sphere
Social Networking
http://www.orkut.com
Alok Mishra
Facing Problem
This is a nice web site, it has given nice ideas about the eating habbits of women who are all intersted about the fasion world. Women getting unhealthy because of unorder eatting habbit. Be carful about that
*************
Alex
--------------------------
www.orkut.com
***********************
Anonymous
In this blog the
In this blog the discussions going on the women’s eating disorders. Now-a-days fashion trend is changes the women’s life. That’s why all the women’s should not take care about their health by taking a healthy food. They wanted to become slim and they avoiding the recipes from their menu.
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Amezon
Anonymous
comment
This site gives the information about eating habits of the women who are
interesting in fashion world. The women are more interesting about
fashion in now a day. Because of this interest they are getting some
kind of health problems. There is eating disorder in women so that they
are facing health problems
andrewadam
This is very good which is
This is very good which is giving information about the culture. Today the women are more concentrating on the fashion than the culture. They are neglecting their health by taking light food and spoiling their life time.
************************
andrewadam
http://www.orkut.com
bushkush
culture
culture is nomes and rules for living in the society. For better society we should have good culture.
===========================================================
bushkush
www.game4all.com
jack60
yes its true that now a day
yes its true that now a day women are more interested on fashions rather than on their health, due to this women are facing a lot of prblems , if they dont have problems now they may face it in future .So they sould take care of their diet also
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annie
<a href="HTTP://WWW.ASCIITECH.COM">ASCIISOL</a>
betty
eating
This site gives the about the eating habits of the women who are
interesting in fashion world. The women are more interesting about
fashion in now a day. Because of this interest they are getting some
kind of health problems. There is eating disorder in women so that they
are facing health problems.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
betty
http://www.look4.com
annika301
Hi
Hi i agree with you. really who one try to get slim by reducing their
diet.she face many problems in her future life.This site is useful for
ladies but the above photo is not good.i don't like it.
=====================
glory
http://www.orkut.com
annika301
Hi
Hi i agree with you. really who one try to get slim by reducing their
diet.she face many problems in her future life.This site is useful for
ladies but the above photo is not good.i don't like it.
=====================
glory
http://www.orkut.com
Yitzhak
Eating Disorders and Twerski
Good article! Is Twerski the M.D. who is Orthodox Rabbi as well? I have a couple of books authored by Dr. Twerski, M.D., Psychiatrist. I am a psychotherapist trained to be careful when reading about "disorders". Any doubt in reliability of your information vanished at once when I saw "Twerski". Thanks again for well presented information.
Yitzhak
sreekumar
diet taken by a women
hi..........
this site is really giving a vallueble information to women those who are interested in diet .NOW-A-DAYS most of them are prefering for for their diet &fitness because theiy sre fond of beauty.
================================================
sreekumar
<a href="www.gmail.com">priyasree</a>
Remhy
Hi, This website is very
Hi,
This website is very interesting and provide more information relating to fashion.
In now a days fashion place a vital role .Women have more interest on Fashion that' s why they neglect their health.And it also tells about eating habits.So every one be careful about health.
==============================
Joel
http://www.orkut.com
Anonymous
Eating Disorders..........
Presently taking lite food is fashionable today. But eating
disorders it is not good for our health. We have to face lot of problems.
<><><><><><><><><><><>
Noel
Social
Media Network
Htt://www.orkut.com
Anonymous
comment
I'm very glad that there is action here and I hope that people are
helped because of it. It can be all the more horrific knowing that what
you're doing is religiously wrong as well as everything else.
swiss
Now a days women are quite
Now a days women are quite modern, stylish. It's good. But with that they are being more and more body conscious. It should be good. But rather by reducing their diet, they are trying to be more and more slim which in fact has quite fatal consequences later. And the photo given is not so good.
Anonymous
This gives a lot of
This gives a lot of information how young men are looking for brides in the Orthodox community call a girl’s parents and ask for her dress size. This site gives the eating
habitats of women who are interested in fashion. Maintaining good
fashion in the industry not only important but also we should take care about our eating habits and diets which we take regularly.
******************************************
william
sphere
Social
Networking
http://www.orkut.com
mathew
Diet is not good for health
This is a good article. this site is giving valuable information for who want to become a slim with doing dieting. Now a days womens interested in fashion world. But dieting is not good for health.
Anonymous
comment
here we get a lot of information on our culture and how they feel about these culture, you can gather a lot from here....
john
comments
This site shows how the women which are fashioned in modern ways cannot
able to look after their health properly. Maintaining good fashion in
the industry not only important but also we should take care about our
eating habits and diets which we take regularly. This will give
strength to our body.
===============================================================
john
social network
Alex Lee
women eating habbit
This is a nice site gives the ideas about the eating habits of the women who are interesting in fashion world. The women are more interesting about fashion in now a day. Because of this interest they are getting some kind of health problems. There is eating disorder in women so that they are facing health problems. This site gives the idea how to make your eating habbit. Thanks for sharing th idea.
*************
Alex
------------------
www.orkut.com
**********
Anonymous
william sphere
This site gives the eating habitats of women who are interested in fashion. Maintaining good fashion in the industry not only important but also we should take care
about our eating habits and diets which we take regularly.
************************************************************
william
sphere
Social
Networking
http://www.orkut.com
andrew
This is very bad news to
This is very bad news to listen that the today women are more caring about the fashion than the health. This is giving the nice information to the people who are caring more fashion than the health.*********************************
andrewadam
swiss
eating disorders
This blog has raised the issue of women being more conscious about their diet habits. It has nicely presented the women of today. Now a days women are being more and more fashion oriented and because of this they are trying to be slim and trim by reducing their diets which is not good as its later consequences are quite fatal. So its a good blog making people aware on this topic.
Ifra Yaseen
Thanks to give such a great
Thanks to give such a great information. Now a days every women want to be fit, and this site will make her slim but with good health.
Tanks :)
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Ifra Yaseen
<a href="http://www.lookforward.info">look4ward</a>
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