Eat Pray Backlash?

One day on the beach this summer I walked by four women in a row, reading this book.  I actually started reading this book after a friend told me how much she liked it.  But I haven't gotten very far because so far it doesn't do much for me. Gilbert seems a bit selfish having destroyed a perfectly happy marriage to go faith hunting in foreign countries. Her concept seems interesting, but I wouldn't say it's a book I just can't put down.

...it's got to suck.  She is, after all, the Queen of Fake.

Insulting someone's search for meaning is rude.  Guess what?  You don't have to read the book--even if Oprah endorses it.  If you do read it, and don't like it, that's fine--but it doesn't mean Gilbert's personal journey is worthless or insincere.  For Maayan to assume that Gilbert "destroyed a perfectly happy marriage to go faith hunting" is incredibly naive.  From my reading of just the first few pages, Gilbert's marriage was already miserable, and so was she.  Ending it wasn't an easy decision--but that's not even the point.

The only book I've ever read by Gilbert is The Last American Man.  Talk about seeking.  This little book packs an incredible punch, and demonstrates just how deep and wide Gilbert's search for meaning and inspiration really is. 

We're all on different paths, and we all have different insights and experiences to share.  Not all of us have the courage to put our weaknesses and foibles on display, though.   

I agree that it's inappropriate to criticize the author for ending her marriage -- that's obviously an incredibly personal decision -- but I still think it's silly to respond to criticism of a book with "Insulting someone's search for meaning is rude." Why is a book above criticism just because it's about someone's search for meaning? There are huge numbers of books written about exactly that theme, and a lot of them are terrible. If you don't want your "journey" to be criticized, then you guard your privacy as best you can. If you write a best-selling book about it, then congratulations, but dealing with people who think that your book is boring, silly, Orientalist, or whatever, is part of the bargain.

The Revealer's self-help correspondent, Holly Berman, has joined the backlash.

 

Thank you.

I saw this in a used bookstore and briefly considered buying it. I was told it was a great read about her faith journey, but when I read the back (that she broke up her marriage to find herself), I decided it wasn't for me. Maybe it's because I'm getting married that I don't want to read reasons why people leave their marriages, but I think it's more that her reasoning (as summarized on the back of the book) didn't seem sufficient. As a child of divorce, maybe I'm just too sensitive.

...are they?  They're criticizing what they deem to be a lame journey.  There's a difference.  I'm all for criticizing a book, but saying someone's spiritual journey isn't up to par is just ridiculous.

 

I'm more interested, actually, in finding out the value (to Gilbert) of this spiritual journey than finding out whether the book is well-written or too boring or what. 

I haven't read this book, so I don't know whether the following applies. But I can think of one circumstance when I would feel justified calling into question another person's account of their spiritual process, and that's if by their own account they find truth in traveling to exotic lands and absorbing ideas and experiences emblematic to them of foreign mysteries, but don't actually do any self-reflection or integrate those experiences into everyday life in a meaningful way. That's not personal growth or a relationship with the Divine, that's Orientalism--fetishizing and commodifying the foreign. It leaves you right back where you started, only in a sari. That's exactly what the NYP is saying in the quoted passage, and the criticism might not be without merit.

On the other hand, just because someone traveled a lot while sorting out their cosmic questions doesn't mean the answers they found were shallow. It might have been a quest for exciting "peak" experiences, but peak experiences can still lead to growth. It's all in whether you actually do the work or not. And since I haven't read it (and am not planning to) I don't know which, if either, of these situations apply.

I've been thinking lately about those of us (I include myself) who are tempted to make our religion a religion of peak experiences. The peak experiences are so great, so bright, so captivating, that everything else seems like a distraction. But all that "everything else" is the field where the real work is done, and where the spiritual insights we find in prayer or on a mountain in Nepal actually have a chance to turn into something of real value. It's easy to forget about doing the work to spend one's time hunting down the next peak experience instead.

I enjoyed the book until I found out that she had sold the rights for it to be made as a vehicle for Julia Roberts. I'm not sure why this caused me to dislike the book when I had initially enjoyed it.

Then again, I approached it as a fun read - I have two little kids, so I really get escapist art. Now, when I watch a movie, I just wanna be entertained with a nice, two hour trip away from my daily grind. No thinking please! And the book was funny.

I suppose I liked the book more when I could imagine myself eating pasta, meditating for a while and then having sex with a hot brazilian fellow (not that I don't love my hot Jewish fellow!) than imagining Julia Roberts doing all that fun stuff.

Wouldn't it have been a good idea for you (Izzy Grinspan) to read this book since you're the opener of this "forum"?

leave it to white conservative christian america to 'not get' something as inspirational as gilbert's story from the heart.  if we don't understand it here, we don't like or approve of it. 

loved the book, don't care why she got divorced - she just did, and here is her story for those who may be going through the same. 

don't like it?  then don't read it and move on.  are you really so bored with your own life that you need to bash someone else's work?

caio! 

 

 

 

 

I love it, write a story about something you haven't read. Riff off the New York Post, USA Today and insert THEIR information in the story you are writing.... Wow I find this most annoying and pathetic than Gilbert's trotting trials around the globe. At least she's original. 

I'm reading this book now.  I'm not far along--just at the point to where she arrives in India.  I'm loving the book.  It reads like a novel.  It is easy to read.  It moves along fast.  I'm enjoying it very much.  As a writer, myself, I am a bit envious of Elizabeth Gilbert's success.  Still, I don't want to take any of it away from her.  As an American woman, I'm proud of her.  Like many of us, she is attempting to balance a successful career with a life condition of integrity and, most importantly, accountability to herself--Her Self.

My guess is that she is reading this so called "back-lash" against her book (and her SELF) and using it as a spiritual challenge to not lose site of who she is accountable to.  Yet, I don't know her.  I've heard her speak.  I sense she is real.  And I haven't heard, read, or seen her claim anything other than being human like the rest of us.  She does not claim to be a guru...nor does she claim to have all the answers.  She, simply, claims to be herself.  And, in this book she shares the details of what was a very important year in her life.  That's all.

I suspect that the fact that a movie is being made as a result of this book, while exciting, has brought upon many challenges to Ms. Gilbert.  I wonder if she had to contemplate long and hard about selling the rights to the book....or if her spiritual journey enable her to get to a "place" where she said, "HECK YEAH!"  At 44 years of age, I'm still working on finding that "place."

While I appreicate reading your perspective on this book (and its author), Izzy.  Your piece wreaks of a naive, young woman's jealousy of another.  I suspect that you wrote it either to get something going, or that you truly are as inexperienced as you seem.  Perhaps you are/were the snotty girl at school who caused havoc in the lives of others because of issues of jealousy.  Or perhaps you were the one being picked on.  Or perhaps you are just clever and smart enough to write about this with the intent to draw attention to your page.  Maybe it is all of the above.  You have EVERY RIGHT to write and say what you want to.  Regardless, do you think Jewcy needs the legacy of contributing to the negative dialogue that does this world no good? 

Well, it is a beautiful sunny day, here...and I don't need to spend one more minute online.  I'm going to get out there in the world--and connect with all that is wonderful about it.  When I return, I will probably make a cup of tea, snuggle up with my husband, and open Eat, Pray, Love.

 

Hi Cavanaugh,

 I imagine you as a decent person, that's why I felt moved to write this.

You might just as well have taken a deep breath after "I haven't read this book. . ." and then made a full stop. What followed was completely yours and had little or nothing to do with the book in question.

Anyone who HAD read "Eat Pray Love" would know Gilbert was a student of said "foreign mysteries" long before embarking on her journey (which you would also know was paid for by the an investment in the resulting publication). It's my opinion that she engaged mindfully, with a pretty savvy awareness the limitations of her own cultural context, in a journey to salvage herself and create something in the process.

There were many parts of the book that I found moving, but I also found it did have some limitations worth discussing. Some of it was wry and insightful, and even pointed to said limitations. But to Cavanaugh and Ms. Greenspan, what you are discussing is yourselves, not the author or the book. I won't go as far as DD and make up motives for you - that's for you to do. Maybe there's a book in it for you.

 

I love my daughter.  She recommended I read the book 1 month ago when I was recovering from broken ankle surgery and was trying to get back to my normal, undepressed self.  I am also living on my own and have been for a number of years.  I was excited to read it so I bought it, brought it home, and there it sits on my coffee table.  I have my own Christian beliefs and though I am always empathetic for others problems, I wish I had her problems.  I haven't read the book and when I can bring myself to do so, I will ,for the sake of being able to discuss it with my daughter. 

 

I began to read the book and never enjoyed the read.

For one thing, the author was riddled with guilt for breaking up her marriage- which is why she kept bringing it up, over and over. Throughout the pages of her book, up would pop mention of her ex husband, her divorce, her angst, and her guilt.

I don't think her spiritual journey brought her absolution, and it certainly didn't leave me with any respect for the author or her book.

It was very, very self obsessed.

The point of the whole exercise by this woman was to question her life, her self and to find her road to happiness and spiritual fulfillment. Self-obsession is somewhat necessary - don't you think?  The manner in which she does it is her own and the results will also be her own.  No two human experiences or outcomes are the same, and if it worked for her - more power to her. 

The fact that she decided to share it with the world was, I assume, to either share her experience with others so that they, too, could decide if a similar experience might work for them or......... to make a lot of money - either way she does open herself to criticism and ridicule, and we will oblige her, as that is the type of society we are.  You can't please all of the people all of the time. 

Now, if she gives all the proceeds from the book to charities, I might believe that she has found her true self, the meaning of life and spritual fulfillment.

If not, then she has but one retort to all her critics - "Gotcha!"

I read this book and simply, I enjoyed it. Yes, just like any book, there are parts I may get bored with but overall .... it's a memoir. She was writing about HER journey and what SHE experienced and went through. No where in this book does she ever say that this is what women need to do nor should anyone criticize her decision for divorce - I'm sure each of us has made decisions that were not in support of people around. I myself went through a divorce at a young age because I realized that my marriage and partner was not the right thing for me, even though there was nothing "truly wrong" with our marriage. I went through with the divorce despite what my family thought was "appropriate and respectful". Guess what? I'm so much happier now and I'm with the man who I consider the love of my life - and so is my ex-husband.

My point: Stop being so da@# critical! Why is everyone so judgemental? To each his own. In today's age, it seems like everyone is searching for "happiness" and to do what's in their heart, etc. That is certainly what I did. Isn't that what Elizabeth did by going on her journey?

I just think people are taking this way to seriously. It's a book - a memoir of someone's personal experiences. You can either read it and enjoy her style of writing (which I did relate to her sarcasm and wit), or take what you want from some of her experiences ; though my experience was much easier and less depressing than Gilbert's, I could still relate to her not knowing what to do because you may dissapoint family, even though you are unhappy. I could relate to her enjoying Italy, because I have been to Europe many times and I come alive when I'm there. I didn't quite understand the whole India thing, but again, SO WHAT. She was just telling readers about her experience and now I know a little something about ashrams in India, which previously I knew absolutely NOTHING about. I didn't even know that it was called an ashram.

Part of life is learning about the people around you and the experiences they go through.

 

Anyone who HAD read "Eat Pray Love" would know Gilbert was a student of
said "foreign mysteries" long before embarking on her journey (which
you would also know was paid for by the an investment in the resulting
publication). It's my opinion that she engaged mindfully, with a pretty
savvy awareness the limitations of her own cultural context, in a
journey to salvage herself and create something in the process.

That's great.  

But to Cavanaugh
and Ms. Greenspan, what you are discussing is yourselves, not the
author or the book.

I was actually trying to discuss an aspect of my own culture, and its relationship to a genre of book into which Eat, Pray, Love appears, on its face, to fit--that of the spiritual journey marked by finding spirituality in contrasts and unfamiliarity. If it was not so for the author in her experience, the success of the book certainly rests on exactly that appeal for the readers.

I'm interested in why this happens so often. In some cases, it seems that unfamiliar surroundings and cultural contexts simply make us more susceptible to transient peak experiences. In other cases, they may lend themselves to lasting personal growth. I'm interested in figuring out what makes the latter happen as opposed to the former, and why the unfamiliar surroundings and cultural contexts are so often looked to as a sort of prerequisite for personal growth. After all, not everyone has someone willing to invest money into their spiritual journey on the off chance that a best-seller will result.

"white, conservative, Christian America"??  where do you get this from?  Are you so blinded by your own intolerance of people different from you that you have to put them into a category to make yourself feel better?  What makes what you say so different than someone who bashes Muslims, Jews, Buddhist or Hindus?  Wake up, and take a look in the mirror, you aren't as enlightened as you believe yourself to be.

God bless you Nikki! So very well put.:-)

I read and loved the book, before she ever went on Oprah. I think Gilbert is a great writer.  The fact that she shared this personal spiritual journey with the world, does not make her self absorbed. She did what many women don't have the courage to do, and I for one am inspired. You don't  have to love it, but don't bash it if you haven't read it.

I don't get the bashing of this book at all. I don't get how people can bash a book they've never read...I mean, I kind of do, because I can't stand Oprah and I'm a huge cynic in general who tends to also be extremely critical. However, I swallowed all that for a couple of days and read Eat, Pray, Love, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I get the whole concept that rich, white girl going to exotic countries seeking enlightenment can be a bit tawdry and annoying, but one of the best things about this book is Gilbert's writing voice - it's extremely engaging and amusing, and also natural.
It's also deliciously self-indulgent, but there is an awareness of her own self-absorption, which makes her endearing. As a writer, I both envy and admire Gilbert's writing, because not many writers can make me forget I myself am a writer while I am reading a book...mostly I pick apart books. When I'm able to just be a reader, and I'm absorbed by the story, then I know the book is good (in my humble opinion). And this is a well-written book...nothing more, nothing less.For me, that's more than enough.

 

DD...Oregon, where on earth are you getting stuff like this?

"Your piece wreaks of a naive, young woman's jealousy of another.  I suspect that you wrote it either to get something going, or that you truly are as inexperienced as you seem.  Perhaps you are/were the snotty girl at school who caused havoc in the lives of others because of issues of jealousy.  Or perhaps you were the one being picked on."

I really, honestly have no idea how you could have gotten all of this from Izzy's comment that she hasn't read the book, but that she's heard some negative reviews of it. Because of that, she must be naive/snotty/jealous/etc.? Also, DD, I love how you complain that Jewcy is contributing to "negative dialogue," when you're the one making nutty, unfounded personal attacks.

I have read this book and I have to admit I was somewhat disappointed.  She is a very good writer, but she doesn't cover any new ground.  She was paid to take a year traveling the world so she could come back and write about her spiritual journey seeking the Divine (nice work if you can get it). My one regret with reading this book is, in a very small way, I've helped further its success by buying a copy. Perhaps I can sell my copy and it will find it's way to someone who desperately needs this type of insight.

At least one critic observed that if Ms. Gilbert had been a man, and written the exact same work with the genders reversed for various key characters in the story, it would not have been as well received.  No way of knowing if that is really true unless some brave (or silly) soul actually performs the acid test and writes such a book, but I believe the observation to be suspiciously accurate.

Furthermore, she spent a year looking for the very answer she found in the first few pages telling the reader about her emotional and spiritual crisis in the bathroom thinking about her marriage, and her inner voice told her to go back to bed.  She'd already found what she then spent a year "looking" for.

In other words from a by-gone era, "...if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard.  Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!  Is that right?" ~ Dorothy Gale

I got it, and loved it, I don't have to agree with her obvious political affiliations.....

I am a White Conservative Christian

Hi Cavanaugh!

You said:

"I'm interested in why this happens so often. In some cases, it seems
that unfamiliar surroundings and cultural contexts simply make us more
susceptible to transient peak experiences. In other cases, they may
lend themselves to lasting personal growth. I'm interested in figuring
out what makes the latter happen as opposed to the former, and why the
unfamiliar surroundings and cultural contexts are so often looked to as
a sort of prerequisite for personal growth. After all, not everyone has
someone willing to invest money into their spiritual journey on the off
chance that a best-seller will result."

I think it has a lot do with distance from your own rat race. Simple as that. My 2008 has been horrible. I ended 2007 and began 2008 with a nasty flu bug that persisted for 3 1/2 weeks. Two days after I had recovered and started to feel like I was getting back into the swing of things, I was injured in an accident; another (going on) 5 weeks of recovery. I was feeling sad, run down, dejected, hopeless...you name it.

My sister called with an opportunity for me to spend last weekend in Frisco. Although it meant hobbling around on a cane, I jumped at the chance to get away.

I came back from that weekend away from my life with renewed hope and vigor! All weekend long I bathed my psyche in every smell, taste, experience I had; reveling in things I had never seen. Reminding myself to enjoy it and stow away that feeling so I could recapture it.

This was only a weekend of course, and to San Francisco to boot (so no foreign exotic locale) but it meant I didn't have to think about my job, my bills, my basement mold, my leaky foundation, etc; all the things that make up ones modern existence. I only had to think about me, what I needed and what I wanted out of life...or at least the weekend.

Being somewhere different, especially somewhere with seemingly unlimited beauty and opportunity for learning (and therefore growing), can inspire one, who is so inclined, to open up and really get to know themselves.

Sometimes it results in an epiphany. Sometimes it results in a book. Sometimes it fades sooner than you meant it to.

a.

 

 

I have been to Italy and India and had many similar expieriences and feelings. I felt like I was reading a book about myself.(I even hugged trees in High school here in the USA). Maybe I should get my tickets to Bali?? Oh gee, I'm happily married, guess I better bring my husband along.... I wish I had written the book and would I say no to Julia Roberts portrayiong me?? I don't think so...

PS If you want a really in depth, funny true and amazing memoir of Spiritual seeking read HOLY COW by Sarah Macdonald

Why are people so bothered by this book?  Just like it was the author's choice to embark on her journey and write about it, it's the choice of the reader to choose this book and read it.  The readers can decide for themselves whether or not they enjoyed the book.  I for one thoroughly enjoyed it and found Liz Gilbert to be a talented writer.  The folks that are analysing and tearing down the book are just as bad as Oprah endorsing it to her groupies and causing this silly "phenomenon" of namesake trips and dinner parties.  Just let it go - it's a book. 

Personal story:  I'm a 42 year old single, kind of free-spirited to a
fault, kind of gal who was inspired by Gilbert's story and
spontaneously up and went to Bali for a couple of weeks to do some yoga
and hang out for a few weeks this past December.  I had a magical,
wonderful trip, and sychronistically *met* Ketut and Wayan in like
"real life" (!) when I was in Ubud -- I'll admit, it was a total
surprise, but super fun, nonetheless.  So when I come home to MN, some
casual acquaintances (all women, about my age, married with kids, etc.)
ask why I'm tan, and I tell them I've just returned from Bali. And they
tell me they have read the book -- So I share that I met these
characters in real life from the book and it was totally cool
experience.  But here's the STUMPER:  They all start going OFF about
how "selfish" she is, how pissed off parts of the book made them feel. 
And it's like they're venting all this pent up anger getting all MAD AT ME!!!  Like I unleashed this total rage, "whoah!!" This has happened now several times,
leading me to wonder just how many people who are married with kids are
really happy underneath the surface.  They seem really smug (but
seething) as they declare "they could never do anything like that." 
Well, shyyte!  Here I thought "poor me, and here I was secretly envious of their more conventional life" (in Minneapolis I'm the exception, not the rule 'round these parts anyway...) Wowza,
all I have to say is I wasn't at all prepared for angry responses to
telling them I went on this crazy trip and met these characters!  If
someone had told me that I would be like, "Cool!" 

So tonight I googled "Eat Pray Love Backlash" and
found this discussion!  And YEP! Here are more pissed off women!! 
Confirming my little 'ol theory about this pent up anger.... Makes me
wonder how much we're all hiding from each other about the way it
really is.... How much pretending goes on.