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Dating Blogger Charles: “Bumpy Relationship”

We’re used to insensitivity from strangers and people whose opinions don’t matter to us. But far more curious – not to mention painful – is being on the business end of rude behavior from someone we love. I was talking … Read More

By / January 22, 2007

We’re used to insensitivity from strangers and people whose opinions don’t matter to us. But far more curious – not to mention painful – is being on the business end of rude behavior from someone we love. I was talking to my boyfriend the other day. I was on a diatribe about how stressful my life has been in the past few weeks, how I have been coping by stuffing my face with dark chocolate, and how that has resulted in a terrible breakout on my usually blemish-free skin. The blemishes on my face have of course been adding to my stress. Joe listened and was very patient with me, which I really appreciated because it can sometimes be unpleasant and unbearably un-fun when I am on a diatribe. The next day, the worst day of the past few weeks by far, Joe and I were driving out of the city when he said “baby, I know you have had a stressful few weeks so I have something for you.” I was grinning from ear to ear because I was sure he brought me something comforting, something I would want and crave…dark chocolate. And how sweet, I thought, that I just bought him a gift out of the blue (which by the way was a bottle of Armani Code) and now he has gone and done the same thing. “What is it?” I asked eagerly. He handed me a small thin tube and said, “I thought you could use this.” As I looked into my hand a feeling of needing to hurt him came over me. He had handed me a tube of Clearasil for my face, which was ironic because I was hoping for chocolate, which would have made my face break out even more. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move or speak for at least sixty seconds. Then I rolled down the window, and threw the tube as violently as possible out the window and onto the street. After telling this story to my friends I found out that not only has something similar happened to all of them, but with frequency and a shocking portion of the male community seems to suffer from his unidentified syndrome. Straight or gay men out there I call you to learn the etiquette of dating/relationships. I will give you a start, a helping hand, if you will. If your significant other tells you they wants to lose weight the correct response is to honor them for where they are now: something to the effect of, “Honey you are so beautiful, you don’t need to lose weight.” Not: “Here, baby I bought you a bottle of TrimSpa.” When I complain about my skin that means I know it is not doing well, the one I am in relationship with should assume I am taking the proper measures to take care of the problem, or that I am not and that there is nothing that he can do about it. If he wants to do something sweet for me, a more thoughtful gesture would be to get me an amazing facial at a spa or something like that. All I am saying, gents, is to think things through a bit more. If you pretend you are sweet and thoughtful, you may begin to feel and think more thoughtfully; that place and that place only is where action toward your loved ones should come from. If that doesn’t work, or you can’t figure it out, buy your something that won’t cause a physical or emotional allergy. Flowers are good.

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